Sexual Sin

Dear Victorious,

My husband has a nasty habit of looking at pornography. He did when he was single and basically has never stopped. We've talked about this until I am blue in the face. The problem is that he doesn't think it's really wrong. He says it doesn't harm anybody and is much different than if he were having an affair or something. I guess he's got a point, but still I don't like it. How do I reconcile myself with this situation?

Marcie A. - Rockford, IL

Dear Marcie,

You don't. Your husband is wrong. What he is doing is immoral, ungodly and amounts to SIN no matter how you dice it. Human sexuality is a gift from God that is to be experienced and expressed only in the context of a committed marriage relationship. Frankly, it is the celebration of the relationship. (Your husband wouldn't consider celebrating your birthday with someone besides you!)

1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." You see, sexual sin is different than all other types of sin. Mind you, it is not any worse than any other kind of sin. But it is different. All sin harms other people. Sexual sin harms even ourselves.

Tell you husband to stop. Put your foot down and draw a firm boundary on this one. If he cannot stop, seek help from a Christian counselor or a Christian recovery group. (I can recommend http://www.celebraterecovery.com/). If he refuses to get counseling or help, then you go by yourself and tell them you are the codependent wife of a husband who is addicted to pornography.

You can get victory over this. And you don't have to be defiled by your husband's filthy habit.