Dear Victorious,
What do you think is life's biggest disappointment?
Harvey T. - Washington
Dear Harvey,
It is hard to say. My first instinct is to say that life's biggest disappointment is different for each of us. But perhaps the most common disappointment - and the one that causes the most damage - is when we believe in someone and they fail us. That is different than other people not meeting our expectations. But when I think you are one person, and I make decisions, commitments, sacrifices and compromises that I think are worth it - I want you to be who I think you are. If you aren't - then those commitments, sacrifices and compromises aren't worth it. And I feel cheated. I feel foolish.
(I seem to be getting more philosophical questions like this. And I find myself wondering why!)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Marriage Over
Dear Victorious,
I know God hates divorce, but it seems to me that there are times when, no matter how much God hates it, divorce is inevitable. How can we know for sure that a marriage is truly over?
Debbie C. - King of Prussia, PA
Dear Debbie,
I'm not a trained theologian - but I think you are wading into some difficult territory theologically. The Bible is clear that divorce is not God's way. There are some sobering words for anyone considering divorce. But it is not out of the question.
Unfortunately, some churches and many Christians treat it that way. I believe this leads to ignorance and often to poor decisions. People will stay in a miserable marriage - abusing each other and screwing up their children because divorce is "off limits." If they would examine the facts, I believe it would be God's will that they, for example, give their children at least one healthy parent instead of two toxic parents. But that is another discussion.
There are, of course, limited Biblical grounds for divorce. Notice that they are not mandates for divorce. Infidelity is the most common - but God can help a couple work through even that. The criteria for a divorce in that example would be whether or not there was true repentance on the part of the offender and a true desire to forgive on the part of the offended. Notice that it is not the infidelity that makes or breaks the marriage. Rather it is the condition of the hearts.
So when is a marriage truly over? That is difficult to tell. But I think the simple advice is to look for the intent of the partners. I would first look for sincere efforts at Christian counseling have been engaged in ... and failed. I would want to know that much time has been committed to prayer - seeking God's will for this relationship. If those two criteria are met, then the following might be good signs that the relationship has no future:
One or both partners is more interested in being right than being reconciled.
One or both partners prefers to fellowship with their problems than with each other.
One or both partners is more interested in themselves than they are their spouse.
We often hear the wedding ceremony with the words, "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder." The question we must ask is whether or not the troubled marriage is really a union that God put together. Were the two partners united in Christ when they married? Has there been a relationship triangle - with Christ in the center?
It takes two committed people to make a marriage. Without that, you have a sham, a charade, and hypocrisy. So despite the circumstances, I would look at the heart of the partners. God can help you build a marriage if that is what you truly desire. But if what you truly desire is to get out of the marriage - then staying in the marriage and expecting God to deliver you from your suffering is probably foolish.
I know God hates divorce, but it seems to me that there are times when, no matter how much God hates it, divorce is inevitable. How can we know for sure that a marriage is truly over?
Debbie C. - King of Prussia, PA
Dear Debbie,
I'm not a trained theologian - but I think you are wading into some difficult territory theologically. The Bible is clear that divorce is not God's way. There are some sobering words for anyone considering divorce. But it is not out of the question.
Unfortunately, some churches and many Christians treat it that way. I believe this leads to ignorance and often to poor decisions. People will stay in a miserable marriage - abusing each other and screwing up their children because divorce is "off limits." If they would examine the facts, I believe it would be God's will that they, for example, give their children at least one healthy parent instead of two toxic parents. But that is another discussion.
There are, of course, limited Biblical grounds for divorce. Notice that they are not mandates for divorce. Infidelity is the most common - but God can help a couple work through even that. The criteria for a divorce in that example would be whether or not there was true repentance on the part of the offender and a true desire to forgive on the part of the offended. Notice that it is not the infidelity that makes or breaks the marriage. Rather it is the condition of the hearts.
So when is a marriage truly over? That is difficult to tell. But I think the simple advice is to look for the intent of the partners. I would first look for sincere efforts at Christian counseling have been engaged in ... and failed. I would want to know that much time has been committed to prayer - seeking God's will for this relationship. If those two criteria are met, then the following might be good signs that the relationship has no future:
One or both partners is more interested in being right than being reconciled.
One or both partners prefers to fellowship with their problems than with each other.
One or both partners is more interested in themselves than they are their spouse.
We often hear the wedding ceremony with the words, "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder." The question we must ask is whether or not the troubled marriage is really a union that God put together. Were the two partners united in Christ when they married? Has there been a relationship triangle - with Christ in the center?
It takes two committed people to make a marriage. Without that, you have a sham, a charade, and hypocrisy. So despite the circumstances, I would look at the heart of the partners. God can help you build a marriage if that is what you truly desire. But if what you truly desire is to get out of the marriage - then staying in the marriage and expecting God to deliver you from your suffering is probably foolish.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Peace of God
Dear Victorious,
The Bible talks about peace with God, and I've heard preachers talk about it too. What exactly does peace mean in God's perspective?
Cathy R. - Des Moines
Dear Cathy,
Peace from God's perspective is probably different than you imagine. Our culture today probably views peace as the absence of conflict. That is not the kind of peace the Bible is talking about. Rather the Bible promises Christ-followers a "peace that transcends understanding." What that means is peace of mind that is not dependent on circumstances. So it will be there even in the midst of conflict. This peace is a quiet confidence in God's provision, protection and the leading of the Holy Spirit.
When this peace gets laid off, for example, it is confident in the fact that God's purposes are still being served and that God will take care of them. They don't like the fact that they got laid off - but they are confident that this will just be another of life's experiences that God sees them through. God's peace is not easily rattled, and takes opposition or suffering in its stride.
At times, peace that transcends understanding will be peace that seems to make no sense. Said differently, the circumstances might suggest being distraught, frightened, angry, frustrated, hateful, or some other state of emotional control (where our emotions control us). But if someone is a true Christ-follower, God promises He will give us peace of mind during such times.
The Bible talks about peace with God, and I've heard preachers talk about it too. What exactly does peace mean in God's perspective?
Cathy R. - Des Moines
Dear Cathy,
Peace from God's perspective is probably different than you imagine. Our culture today probably views peace as the absence of conflict. That is not the kind of peace the Bible is talking about. Rather the Bible promises Christ-followers a "peace that transcends understanding." What that means is peace of mind that is not dependent on circumstances. So it will be there even in the midst of conflict. This peace is a quiet confidence in God's provision, protection and the leading of the Holy Spirit.
When this peace gets laid off, for example, it is confident in the fact that God's purposes are still being served and that God will take care of them. They don't like the fact that they got laid off - but they are confident that this will just be another of life's experiences that God sees them through. God's peace is not easily rattled, and takes opposition or suffering in its stride.
At times, peace that transcends understanding will be peace that seems to make no sense. Said differently, the circumstances might suggest being distraught, frightened, angry, frustrated, hateful, or some other state of emotional control (where our emotions control us). But if someone is a true Christ-follower, God promises He will give us peace of mind during such times.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Heaven & Hell
Dear Victorious,
With all the religious tradition, what are we to make of heaven and hell? I mean, how should we think about heaven and hell?
Heaven Bound
Dear Heaven,
You ask an interesting question. There are many metaphors and much symbolism. I imagine if you ask even the most advanced theologians such a question - they would answer with more metaphors and imagery.
The thing about God is that He asks us to believe that which isn't seen. And so it is with heaven and hell. The truth is that nobody has ever seen either place - and lived to tell about it. Moreover, God hasn't given anyone any specific visions of either place. We have Bible verses that give us clues, but again they come in the form of metaphors and imagery.
Concepts like "streets of gold" or "fiery pit of burning sulphur" aren't exactly helpful to thinking about heaven or hell. But they paint a picture of a glorious or horrible place. Often Christians must get comfortable with ambiguity. God just doesn't find it necessary to give us the details. He asks us to live with the unanswered questions. I believe this is the case with heaven and hell.
What we've been told about both places leads us to two conclusions:
1. Heaven is a place where we will exist that will be more enjoyable than the human mind is even capable of imagining or beginning to comprehend.
2. Hell is a place where we will exist that will be more wretched and miserable than the human mind is even capable of imagining or beginning to comprehend.
And so it is that we will never really comprehend either heaven or hell until we get there.
And that is how we should think about it.
We have to take God at His word. Jesus said He would go and prepare a place for us. It will be heavenly. It will be good. We have to trust Jesus that it will be worth the wait and worth the effort.
With all the religious tradition, what are we to make of heaven and hell? I mean, how should we think about heaven and hell?
Heaven Bound
Dear Heaven,
You ask an interesting question. There are many metaphors and much symbolism. I imagine if you ask even the most advanced theologians such a question - they would answer with more metaphors and imagery.
The thing about God is that He asks us to believe that which isn't seen. And so it is with heaven and hell. The truth is that nobody has ever seen either place - and lived to tell about it. Moreover, God hasn't given anyone any specific visions of either place. We have Bible verses that give us clues, but again they come in the form of metaphors and imagery.
Concepts like "streets of gold" or "fiery pit of burning sulphur" aren't exactly helpful to thinking about heaven or hell. But they paint a picture of a glorious or horrible place. Often Christians must get comfortable with ambiguity. God just doesn't find it necessary to give us the details. He asks us to live with the unanswered questions. I believe this is the case with heaven and hell.
What we've been told about both places leads us to two conclusions:
1. Heaven is a place where we will exist that will be more enjoyable than the human mind is even capable of imagining or beginning to comprehend.
2. Hell is a place where we will exist that will be more wretched and miserable than the human mind is even capable of imagining or beginning to comprehend.
And so it is that we will never really comprehend either heaven or hell until we get there.
And that is how we should think about it.
We have to take God at His word. Jesus said He would go and prepare a place for us. It will be heavenly. It will be good. We have to trust Jesus that it will be worth the wait and worth the effort.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Preacher's Pay
Dear Victorious,
I just got a good look at our church budget, and am wondering how much preacher's should get paid? Aren't they really becoming the "fat cats" of religion?
Jan T. - Phoenix, AZ
Dear Jan,
I wouldn't know about preachers becoming the "fat cats" of religion. To be honest, I'm not even sure what that means! But I have to tell you, it sounds like a broad generalization that is mean-spirited and lacking in love and grace. There may be preachers and pastors and other ministry leaders who appear to be wealthy (and some of them are). But to generalize all of them that way is really nasty and unloving.
How much should preachers be paid? They should be paid whatever it takes to afford them the lifestyle that their parishioners have. The Bible is clear that those who are ministered to are supposed support and care for those who do the ministering. For way too long organized religion has foisted this "vow of poverty" mentality on pastors. It causes them to live a miserable life, filled with needless suffering --- and vulnerable to Satan's attacks. Living in hardship, such as having no health insurance, greatly weakens the effectiveness of the minister. Finally, to not care for the pastor, minister, preacher, etc. is a blatant sin and rebellion against God.
So how much should your preacher(s) be paid? They should be paid as much as it takes to provide for them a lifestyle that is commensurate to that of those they minster to - and then a little more to bless them. A church should be proud of how much it pays its minister(s). When the minister is well-provided for I'd say that is a sign of a healthy, well-adjusted church.
And keep in mind that I'm not a paid minister. I tithe and my tithe funds the salaries of the minister(s) and staff at my church.
I just got a good look at our church budget, and am wondering how much preacher's should get paid? Aren't they really becoming the "fat cats" of religion?
Jan T. - Phoenix, AZ
Dear Jan,
I wouldn't know about preachers becoming the "fat cats" of religion. To be honest, I'm not even sure what that means! But I have to tell you, it sounds like a broad generalization that is mean-spirited and lacking in love and grace. There may be preachers and pastors and other ministry leaders who appear to be wealthy (and some of them are). But to generalize all of them that way is really nasty and unloving.
How much should preachers be paid? They should be paid whatever it takes to afford them the lifestyle that their parishioners have. The Bible is clear that those who are ministered to are supposed support and care for those who do the ministering. For way too long organized religion has foisted this "vow of poverty" mentality on pastors. It causes them to live a miserable life, filled with needless suffering --- and vulnerable to Satan's attacks. Living in hardship, such as having no health insurance, greatly weakens the effectiveness of the minister. Finally, to not care for the pastor, minister, preacher, etc. is a blatant sin and rebellion against God.
So how much should your preacher(s) be paid? They should be paid as much as it takes to provide for them a lifestyle that is commensurate to that of those they minster to - and then a little more to bless them. A church should be proud of how much it pays its minister(s). When the minister is well-provided for I'd say that is a sign of a healthy, well-adjusted church.
And keep in mind that I'm not a paid minister. I tithe and my tithe funds the salaries of the minister(s) and staff at my church.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
One Wish
Dear Victorious,
If you could have one wish for yourself personally, what would it be?
Melanie M. - Dallas, TX
Dear Melanie,
I could wish for a lot of things, I suppose. But the thing that would mean the most to me is probably to be reconciled to people with whom I seem to have irreconcilable differences. There are people whom I love very much. But our differences keep us apart. Loving someone is not the same as being in relationship with someone. And there are people in this world whom I love very much - and would covet a relationship with.
If you could have one wish for yourself personally, what would it be?
Melanie M. - Dallas, TX
Dear Melanie,
I could wish for a lot of things, I suppose. But the thing that would mean the most to me is probably to be reconciled to people with whom I seem to have irreconcilable differences. There are people whom I love very much. But our differences keep us apart. Loving someone is not the same as being in relationship with someone. And there are people in this world whom I love very much - and would covet a relationship with.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Birthdays
Dear Victorious,
Is it Biblical to celebrate birthdays? Isn't that just a pagan holiday (which the Bible warns us against)?
Mara T. - San Antonio
Dear Mara,
No, I believe the pagan holidays you are referring to, at least in their Biblical context, are holidays that celebrate false gods. So it may be possible to put a birthday celebration into such a context, but I doubt that is where most birthday celebrations fall.
Ironically, we've taken holy celebrations like Christmas and Easter - and turned them into the Biblical rendition pagan holidays with Santa Claus and the Easter bunny. That we should be concerned about!
But in today's American culture, celebrating some one's birthday is like celebrating that individual. It's a way of saying, "I'm glad you're here!" There is nothing in the Bible that would prohibit or even warn against such a practice. So get out the birthday cake and enjoy yourself.
Is it Biblical to celebrate birthdays? Isn't that just a pagan holiday (which the Bible warns us against)?
Mara T. - San Antonio
Dear Mara,
No, I believe the pagan holidays you are referring to, at least in their Biblical context, are holidays that celebrate false gods. So it may be possible to put a birthday celebration into such a context, but I doubt that is where most birthday celebrations fall.
Ironically, we've taken holy celebrations like Christmas and Easter - and turned them into the Biblical rendition pagan holidays with Santa Claus and the Easter bunny. That we should be concerned about!
But in today's American culture, celebrating some one's birthday is like celebrating that individual. It's a way of saying, "I'm glad you're here!" There is nothing in the Bible that would prohibit or even warn against such a practice. So get out the birthday cake and enjoy yourself.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Angry Wife
Dear Victorious,
I've heard it said that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." That truly describes my wife. She is an angry, bitter woman. Oh sure, she puts on a congenial face to the outside world. Those in our social circle would probably be shocked at the hateful venom that she spews forth on me. Even at church, she plays the part and we are probably seen as the classic, modern Christian family. But inside, she is killing me. We have tried counseling on several occasions, but to no avail. I never scream and yell at her, yet she is constantly doing it to me - even in front of the children. And I never know what will set her off, although it seems that most anything can. I am sad and depressed most of the time. I just want it to stop. What can I do?
Hurting Husband
Dear Hurting,
You don't say where this conflict started. Was your wife an angry, bitter woman when you married her? Has something happened during your marriage that she might be reacting to? Understanding why someone is bitter and angry could take a lifetime. From what you've told me though, the only sensible thing you can do is to draw firm boundaries. You don't have to live in an abusive relationship. And what you are describing sounds like spousal abuse.
You are being emotionally abused. Unless you are willing to take a stand and enforce boundaries with your wife, it will never stop. But putting up with this garbage of a relationship, you are enabling her bad behavior. My advice is to get some backbone, tell your wife you don't intend to live like this any more - and then make good on that promise.
I've heard it said that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." That truly describes my wife. She is an angry, bitter woman. Oh sure, she puts on a congenial face to the outside world. Those in our social circle would probably be shocked at the hateful venom that she spews forth on me. Even at church, she plays the part and we are probably seen as the classic, modern Christian family. But inside, she is killing me. We have tried counseling on several occasions, but to no avail. I never scream and yell at her, yet she is constantly doing it to me - even in front of the children. And I never know what will set her off, although it seems that most anything can. I am sad and depressed most of the time. I just want it to stop. What can I do?
Hurting Husband
Dear Hurting,
You don't say where this conflict started. Was your wife an angry, bitter woman when you married her? Has something happened during your marriage that she might be reacting to? Understanding why someone is bitter and angry could take a lifetime. From what you've told me though, the only sensible thing you can do is to draw firm boundaries. You don't have to live in an abusive relationship. And what you are describing sounds like spousal abuse.
You are being emotionally abused. Unless you are willing to take a stand and enforce boundaries with your wife, it will never stop. But putting up with this garbage of a relationship, you are enabling her bad behavior. My advice is to get some backbone, tell your wife you don't intend to live like this any more - and then make good on that promise.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Susan Boyle
Dear Victorious,
I saw you blogged about Susan Boyle, the Scottish singer who is sweeping the Internet with her music. You seemed to fawn all over her yourself. It seemed quite uncharacteristic of you! So what is the down side to this Susan Boyle story? How could she screw this up?
Darlene - Cupertino, CA
Dear Darlene,
I suppose there are many ways Susan Boyle could screw up her "15 minutes of fame." In fact, we probably couldn't even count the ways. I saw in the media the other day that someone in America has offered her $1 million to star in a porn flick - and required that she lose her virginity on the screen in order to get the million bucks. If that isn't the most revolting revelation of American culture, I don't know what is!
So if I'm Susan Boyle, I could look at things like a million bucks guaranteed. Or I could hold out for the promise of something better. What could be better than money? Perhaps the opportunity to influence and bless the world for good. I'm reminded of Philippians 4:8, which admonishes us to focus on things that are "excellent and worthy of praise." It seems to me that Susan Boyle offers something in that category. Or she could offer something else.
How could Susan Boyle screw this up? By trading influence and impact for fame and cash. She could lay aside virtue and just grab all she can as quickly as she can. I'll buy her records if she is patient enough to produce them. But if, for example, she stars in a porn flick - even if it's to pay her bills - she will no longer represent or offer what is "excellent and worthy of praise." I don't pay for music offered by porn stars.
My prayer is that God will lead Susan's heart and that she will wait upon the Lord. He will do a great work in her if she will wait. Her alternative is to take matters into her own hands. Frankly, that's a sure guarantee to "screw things up!"
I saw you blogged about Susan Boyle, the Scottish singer who is sweeping the Internet with her music. You seemed to fawn all over her yourself. It seemed quite uncharacteristic of you! So what is the down side to this Susan Boyle story? How could she screw this up?
Darlene - Cupertino, CA
Dear Darlene,
I suppose there are many ways Susan Boyle could screw up her "15 minutes of fame." In fact, we probably couldn't even count the ways. I saw in the media the other day that someone in America has offered her $1 million to star in a porn flick - and required that she lose her virginity on the screen in order to get the million bucks. If that isn't the most revolting revelation of American culture, I don't know what is!
So if I'm Susan Boyle, I could look at things like a million bucks guaranteed. Or I could hold out for the promise of something better. What could be better than money? Perhaps the opportunity to influence and bless the world for good. I'm reminded of Philippians 4:8, which admonishes us to focus on things that are "excellent and worthy of praise." It seems to me that Susan Boyle offers something in that category. Or she could offer something else.
How could Susan Boyle screw this up? By trading influence and impact for fame and cash. She could lay aside virtue and just grab all she can as quickly as she can. I'll buy her records if she is patient enough to produce them. But if, for example, she stars in a porn flick - even if it's to pay her bills - she will no longer represent or offer what is "excellent and worthy of praise." I don't pay for music offered by porn stars.
My prayer is that God will lead Susan's heart and that she will wait upon the Lord. He will do a great work in her if she will wait. Her alternative is to take matters into her own hands. Frankly, that's a sure guarantee to "screw things up!"
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Is Hell Real?
Dear Victorious,
Do you really think hell is real? Who can be expected to believe descriptions like "fiery pit of burning sulphur?"
David C. - Rocky Mount, NC
Dear David,
Yes, I believe hell is real. Perhaps one day you will believe that too. I suspect two things may be stumbling blocks for you though.
First, the metaphors that we read (including in the Bible) seem very abstract. Fire has been used for centuries to denote hell. "Burning in hell" has long been the notion we have when we refer to it. To be honest, I don't know if those metaphors are real or not. I suspect that they are indeed metaphors. I doubt very much that hell is a fiery pit of burning sulphur. But I think fire has been used to denote the worst pain and suffering one could imagine. If you've ever been burned, you know it is extreme pain. Severe burn victims are described as those most tortured people on earth - for whom there is no comfort. It seems clear to me that God wants us to understand that about hell. It will provide the most tortured existence possible - from which there is no relief.
Second, you will have to first believe in heaven, in God and in His purpose. God created us in His own image. He also created us to please Himself. So we are pre-wired to be at our best when we are in relationship with and serving God. That is when we are most at peace, experience the most joy and contentment and lack for nothing. But you would need to believe that to put context around hell. For you see, hell is the opposite of that.
Heaven is the completion of life as God created it. It is, I have said before, a return to our natural state. Hell then is life as God created it - but with no return to its natural state. Instead, it continues down a perverse path of pain and disappointment, heartache and suffering ... as God never intended.
Do you really think hell is real? Who can be expected to believe descriptions like "fiery pit of burning sulphur?"
David C. - Rocky Mount, NC
Dear David,
Yes, I believe hell is real. Perhaps one day you will believe that too. I suspect two things may be stumbling blocks for you though.
First, the metaphors that we read (including in the Bible) seem very abstract. Fire has been used for centuries to denote hell. "Burning in hell" has long been the notion we have when we refer to it. To be honest, I don't know if those metaphors are real or not. I suspect that they are indeed metaphors. I doubt very much that hell is a fiery pit of burning sulphur. But I think fire has been used to denote the worst pain and suffering one could imagine. If you've ever been burned, you know it is extreme pain. Severe burn victims are described as those most tortured people on earth - for whom there is no comfort. It seems clear to me that God wants us to understand that about hell. It will provide the most tortured existence possible - from which there is no relief.
Second, you will have to first believe in heaven, in God and in His purpose. God created us in His own image. He also created us to please Himself. So we are pre-wired to be at our best when we are in relationship with and serving God. That is when we are most at peace, experience the most joy and contentment and lack for nothing. But you would need to believe that to put context around hell. For you see, hell is the opposite of that.
Heaven is the completion of life as God created it. It is, I have said before, a return to our natural state. Hell then is life as God created it - but with no return to its natural state. Instead, it continues down a perverse path of pain and disappointment, heartache and suffering ... as God never intended.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Nation of Texas?
Dear Victorious,
I understand you live in Texas, and have been reading this week about Texans wanting to secede from the United States. What do you think of that?
Yankee
Dear Yankee,
I think it's just a bunch of noise. For starters, the U.S. Civil War resolved once and for all the right of states to break away from the federation. Though we are in the federation voluntarily (the U.S. didn't conquer us), no state has the right to just opt out whenever they want to. So no one should seriously expect Texas to secede from the union.
That said, my understanding is that the sovereignty of the states is supposed to be protected by the federal constitution (and its amendments). While Texas may be getting the notoriety from what our governor did this week, about two dozen states have passed or are considering passing resolutions affirming their sovereignty separate from the U.S. It would seem that they are doing it to make a point with Obama and his administration. Texans, and many other Americans are not happy with the federal government imposing so much of its ways on the states. That was never its purpose, and many feel that the federal government is over stepping its authority.
All this being said, many of us Texas believe that our current governor, Rick Perry, is probably headed for a new career. He is not led by the God most of us worship and few of us could point to any tangible things he's done or not done that would make him a great governor. The irony is that he's the longest serving governor Texas has ever had - and is seeking re-election at the end of this term. The real question is whether or not Texans will give him another chance.
Nobody should be worried about Texas breaking away from the U.S. The majority of Texans would never stand for such a thing. And quite honestly, Rick Perry isn't a strong enough leader to move us in such a direction either!
I understand you live in Texas, and have been reading this week about Texans wanting to secede from the United States. What do you think of that?
Yankee
Dear Yankee,
I think it's just a bunch of noise. For starters, the U.S. Civil War resolved once and for all the right of states to break away from the federation. Though we are in the federation voluntarily (the U.S. didn't conquer us), no state has the right to just opt out whenever they want to. So no one should seriously expect Texas to secede from the union.
That said, my understanding is that the sovereignty of the states is supposed to be protected by the federal constitution (and its amendments). While Texas may be getting the notoriety from what our governor did this week, about two dozen states have passed or are considering passing resolutions affirming their sovereignty separate from the U.S. It would seem that they are doing it to make a point with Obama and his administration. Texans, and many other Americans are not happy with the federal government imposing so much of its ways on the states. That was never its purpose, and many feel that the federal government is over stepping its authority.
All this being said, many of us Texas believe that our current governor, Rick Perry, is probably headed for a new career. He is not led by the God most of us worship and few of us could point to any tangible things he's done or not done that would make him a great governor. The irony is that he's the longest serving governor Texas has ever had - and is seeking re-election at the end of this term. The real question is whether or not Texans will give him another chance.
Nobody should be worried about Texas breaking away from the U.S. The majority of Texans would never stand for such a thing. And quite honestly, Rick Perry isn't a strong enough leader to move us in such a direction either!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Accused Hypocrite
Dear Victorious,
My wife says I am a hypocrite. This makes me angry and hurt. How do I know if that's true?
Accused Hypocrite
Dear Accused,
There are several signs of true hypocrisy.
1. Knowing the truth but not obeying it.
2. Living a self-serving life.
3. Reducing faith to rigid rules or rule-following.
4. Outward conformity without inner reality.
Many times non-believers will use the supposed (or real) hypocrisy of Christians as an excuse to stay away from God and the church. At times, the behaviors of Christians may provide someone with the ammunition to label you as a hypocrite. But you must discern that with your own heart, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is possible that God is using your wife to speak truth into you and call you to a higher level of holiness.
Look at the signs of hypocrisy and ask God to show you what He sees in you. Then respond to him with a repentant, humble heart. This of course will require that you set aside any righteous indignation.
My wife says I am a hypocrite. This makes me angry and hurt. How do I know if that's true?
Accused Hypocrite
Dear Accused,
There are several signs of true hypocrisy.
1. Knowing the truth but not obeying it.
2. Living a self-serving life.
3. Reducing faith to rigid rules or rule-following.
4. Outward conformity without inner reality.
Many times non-believers will use the supposed (or real) hypocrisy of Christians as an excuse to stay away from God and the church. At times, the behaviors of Christians may provide someone with the ammunition to label you as a hypocrite. But you must discern that with your own heart, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is possible that God is using your wife to speak truth into you and call you to a higher level of holiness.
Look at the signs of hypocrisy and ask God to show you what He sees in you. Then respond to him with a repentant, humble heart. This of course will require that you set aside any righteous indignation.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Giving Money
Dear Victorious,
It seems that we are inundated these days with requests from charities to give money for worthy causes. I know the economy is bad and worthwhile charities are struggling with reduced revenues. But I have my own problems and can't give to everything that I am asked to give to. In fact, it seems that the more I give, the more I am asked to give. I find myself getting angry with these requests, and then I feel guilty for getting angry. What should I do?
Fatigued Donor
Dear Fatigued,
Your problem is you are reacting to the circumstances instead of responding to the truth. God is in control of your money. He owns it all. You are merely the obedient steward. The only criteria you should use when giving money to others is whether or not God wants you to give it. Seriously, you need to take each request in prayer to the Lord. What you will then find is that He more often than not says no.
God doesn't call us to give to everyone who asks. Even if they are worthwhile causes, He may intend to provide for them through other people besides you. He may not want them to have this money just now. It is impossible to know God's purposes in every single situation. But we can know if He wants us to be involved in every situation. We simply have to ask.
"Dear Lord, I have this request for money, time, materials, etc. What do you want me to do with it? Should I give them what they're asking for? Should I give them something else? Should I not give at this time? Please lead my thinking on this Lord, because I want you to be the center of my giving. I ask this in Jesus' name. Amen."
That is your sincere prayer. Then don't do anything until the Lord answers your prayer by leading your thinking and giving you a firm conclusion about what to do. If you will get on your knees and let God make the decisions, I promise you the guilt and anger will be gone.
It seems that we are inundated these days with requests from charities to give money for worthy causes. I know the economy is bad and worthwhile charities are struggling with reduced revenues. But I have my own problems and can't give to everything that I am asked to give to. In fact, it seems that the more I give, the more I am asked to give. I find myself getting angry with these requests, and then I feel guilty for getting angry. What should I do?
Fatigued Donor
Dear Fatigued,
Your problem is you are reacting to the circumstances instead of responding to the truth. God is in control of your money. He owns it all. You are merely the obedient steward. The only criteria you should use when giving money to others is whether or not God wants you to give it. Seriously, you need to take each request in prayer to the Lord. What you will then find is that He more often than not says no.
God doesn't call us to give to everyone who asks. Even if they are worthwhile causes, He may intend to provide for them through other people besides you. He may not want them to have this money just now. It is impossible to know God's purposes in every single situation. But we can know if He wants us to be involved in every situation. We simply have to ask.
"Dear Lord, I have this request for money, time, materials, etc. What do you want me to do with it? Should I give them what they're asking for? Should I give them something else? Should I not give at this time? Please lead my thinking on this Lord, because I want you to be the center of my giving. I ask this in Jesus' name. Amen."
That is your sincere prayer. Then don't do anything until the Lord answers your prayer by leading your thinking and giving you a firm conclusion about what to do. If you will get on your knees and let God make the decisions, I promise you the guilt and anger will be gone.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Jewish Convert
Dear Victorious,
I was raised in a Christian home and have always considered myself a Christian. My fiance is Jewish and insists that I convert to Judaism. I have agreed, but lately find myself wondering if I've really thought this through. What do you think of a Christian converting to the Jewish faith?
Ready To Convert
Dear Ready,
I think it is heresy and you are woefully ignorant about the truth. In order for a Christian to genuinely convert to the Jewish faith, he (or she) would be blatantly taking a public stand to state emphatically that Jesus Christ is not the Messiah that He claimed to be. The Bible defines this as an unforgivable sin (blasphemy against the Holy Spirit). If you truly can do that, then you were never a Christian in the first place.
You are in very dangerous territory, my friend. This is your eternity you are playing with. You would be wise to examine the facts and not make decisions based on your current romantic passion. True Christ-followers are told in the Bible not to be 'unequally yoked.' This means that we should never marry or even be in intimate relationship with anyone who doesn't share our core values. In fact, if you're a Christ-follower, you shouldn't even be dating a Jewish woman, let alone be marrying her.
You can say you are a Christian all day long, but I learned something long ago about that. People will usually struggle to do what they say --- but they will always do what they believe. Even Jesus said that not everyone who claims to be a Christian will see the kingdom of heaven. That means there will be many so-called, self-professed Christians in hell one day. You need to ask yourself if you could be one of them.
I'm sorry to be so harsh, but you did ask. If you can marry this woman and convert to the Jewish faith, you were never a Christ-follower in the first place. On the other hand, if your fiance made a sincere conversion to Christianity she could bring her Jewish traditions with her and you could both be eternally saved and live with Christ forever. That would be the only possible scenario I would ever consider if I were you.
I was raised in a Christian home and have always considered myself a Christian. My fiance is Jewish and insists that I convert to Judaism. I have agreed, but lately find myself wondering if I've really thought this through. What do you think of a Christian converting to the Jewish faith?
Ready To Convert
Dear Ready,
I think it is heresy and you are woefully ignorant about the truth. In order for a Christian to genuinely convert to the Jewish faith, he (or she) would be blatantly taking a public stand to state emphatically that Jesus Christ is not the Messiah that He claimed to be. The Bible defines this as an unforgivable sin (blasphemy against the Holy Spirit). If you truly can do that, then you were never a Christian in the first place.
You are in very dangerous territory, my friend. This is your eternity you are playing with. You would be wise to examine the facts and not make decisions based on your current romantic passion. True Christ-followers are told in the Bible not to be 'unequally yoked.' This means that we should never marry or even be in intimate relationship with anyone who doesn't share our core values. In fact, if you're a Christ-follower, you shouldn't even be dating a Jewish woman, let alone be marrying her.
You can say you are a Christian all day long, but I learned something long ago about that. People will usually struggle to do what they say --- but they will always do what they believe. Even Jesus said that not everyone who claims to be a Christian will see the kingdom of heaven. That means there will be many so-called, self-professed Christians in hell one day. You need to ask yourself if you could be one of them.
I'm sorry to be so harsh, but you did ask. If you can marry this woman and convert to the Jewish faith, you were never a Christ-follower in the first place. On the other hand, if your fiance made a sincere conversion to Christianity she could bring her Jewish traditions with her and you could both be eternally saved and live with Christ forever. That would be the only possible scenario I would ever consider if I were you.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Future Prophesy
Dear Victorious,
In the Old Testament, God often revealed the future to the prophets. It seems He doesn't do that much any more. Why not?
David Harper
Dear David,
The New Testament has an entire book devoted to the future. The book of Revelation is all about the future. It is God's revelation. To understand God's revelations of the future though, we must look to His purpose. When God reveals the future to us, His purpose goes beyond just satisfying our curiosity or providing entertainment. God wants us to change our present behavior ... because of what we know about the future.
Look at the Old Testament prophesies and you'll see that every single time there was revelation of the future it was about the behavior of people in the present. It still is. We shouldn't miss the New Testaments revelations about the future either. God has already given us massive revelations about the future. The real question then is what we will do with those revelations. So let me ask you a question. Knowing that Jesus is coming back, that God intends to judge and destroy all evil permanently, how does that impact your behavior in the present?
In the Old Testament, God often revealed the future to the prophets. It seems He doesn't do that much any more. Why not?
David Harper
Dear David,
The New Testament has an entire book devoted to the future. The book of Revelation is all about the future. It is God's revelation. To understand God's revelations of the future though, we must look to His purpose. When God reveals the future to us, His purpose goes beyond just satisfying our curiosity or providing entertainment. God wants us to change our present behavior ... because of what we know about the future.
Look at the Old Testament prophesies and you'll see that every single time there was revelation of the future it was about the behavior of people in the present. It still is. We shouldn't miss the New Testaments revelations about the future either. God has already given us massive revelations about the future. The real question then is what we will do with those revelations. So let me ask you a question. Knowing that Jesus is coming back, that God intends to judge and destroy all evil permanently, how does that impact your behavior in the present?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Arguing in Marriage
Dear Victorious,
I am not married, but am considering it. Is it normal for married couples to argue fiercely? What if they don't? Does that mean they are hiding something or denying something?
Single in MD
Dear Single,
No, I don't believe it is "normal" for married couples to "argue fiercely." Any relationship will naturally encounter conflict. Kept in a context of love and commitment to each other, that conflict can be managed for the benefit of both parties. The problem is that we usually don't plan for the conflict, so are caught off guard when we encounter it. Then it makes us question the relationship. This is what conflict wants to do ... have that kind of power over us.
If someone doesn't have heated arguments in their marriage, it could mean that they aren't communicating. But it could also mean that they are smart enough to pick their battles and to value the relationship more than they value being right or having their way. It could mean that they are more willing to forgive than they are to fight. It could mean that they are emotionally mature - and are more committed to building the relationship than tearing it down.
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. What we do with it makes the difference between a good relationship and a bad one.
I am not married, but am considering it. Is it normal for married couples to argue fiercely? What if they don't? Does that mean they are hiding something or denying something?
Single in MD
Dear Single,
No, I don't believe it is "normal" for married couples to "argue fiercely." Any relationship will naturally encounter conflict. Kept in a context of love and commitment to each other, that conflict can be managed for the benefit of both parties. The problem is that we usually don't plan for the conflict, so are caught off guard when we encounter it. Then it makes us question the relationship. This is what conflict wants to do ... have that kind of power over us.
If someone doesn't have heated arguments in their marriage, it could mean that they aren't communicating. But it could also mean that they are smart enough to pick their battles and to value the relationship more than they value being right or having their way. It could mean that they are more willing to forgive than they are to fight. It could mean that they are emotionally mature - and are more committed to building the relationship than tearing it down.
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. What we do with it makes the difference between a good relationship and a bad one.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Toxic Family
Dear Victorious,
I saw the letter in Dear Abby yesterday. A reader of hers had written that their parents were married 60 years - and were physically, emotionally and verbally abusive to each other. The reader also said that the parents were quite adept at sucking the family into the drama. The reader asked Dear Abby for advice. Her response? She said, "As loving, caring children you cannot, at least on some level, avoid being drawn in to some extent." What do you think of this response?
Adult Child of Abusive Parents
Dear Adult,
For starters, I often disagree with the Dear Abby advice column. The writer often exhibits a high level of moral ignorance. I believe she at times gives dangerous advice that puts people on thin ice morally and even emotionally. Simply put, Dear Abby is a poor place to take your personal problems!
An adult child of abusive parents is in a toxic situation. The better answer (much, much better) would be for the adult children to draw firm boundaries. What kind of boundaries? Refuse to listen to either parent talk poorly about the other. Refuse to be present when they treat each other so badly. Tell them why you are separating yourself. Demand that they behave themselves in your presence --- or you will stop being in their presence.
The Bible says that we are to honor our parents. We honor them by living Biblical values. We honor them by seeing to their basic care and needs as adults (to the extent that this is necessary). Certainly you wouldn't let your parents go homeless. But there is nothing in the Bible that says you have to share your life with rebellious, sinful, bitter, angry, unrepentant, toxic individuals. Instead you speak the truth in love, set firm boundaries - and then enforce those boundaries.
If my parents had been so abusive for 60 years, I would have drawn those boundaries long ago. More than likely my interaction with them would be a card and flowers on appropriate occasions, pictures of the kids from time-to-time and little more. I would keep phone calls short and to the point. When they strayed and started behaving in a toxic manner, the phone call would end abruptly. If I met them, it would be on neutral territory, such as at a restaurant for lunch. If they became abuse and behaved in a toxic manner - the lunch would be over. I would get up and leave!
Parents who are toxic and abusive to each other foist their venom on their children and grandchildren. Intelligent adult children would have no part of these shenanigans. And Dear Abby should have said that!
I saw the letter in Dear Abby yesterday. A reader of hers had written that their parents were married 60 years - and were physically, emotionally and verbally abusive to each other. The reader also said that the parents were quite adept at sucking the family into the drama. The reader asked Dear Abby for advice. Her response? She said, "As loving, caring children you cannot, at least on some level, avoid being drawn in to some extent." What do you think of this response?
Adult Child of Abusive Parents
Dear Adult,
For starters, I often disagree with the Dear Abby advice column. The writer often exhibits a high level of moral ignorance. I believe she at times gives dangerous advice that puts people on thin ice morally and even emotionally. Simply put, Dear Abby is a poor place to take your personal problems!
An adult child of abusive parents is in a toxic situation. The better answer (much, much better) would be for the adult children to draw firm boundaries. What kind of boundaries? Refuse to listen to either parent talk poorly about the other. Refuse to be present when they treat each other so badly. Tell them why you are separating yourself. Demand that they behave themselves in your presence --- or you will stop being in their presence.
The Bible says that we are to honor our parents. We honor them by living Biblical values. We honor them by seeing to their basic care and needs as adults (to the extent that this is necessary). Certainly you wouldn't let your parents go homeless. But there is nothing in the Bible that says you have to share your life with rebellious, sinful, bitter, angry, unrepentant, toxic individuals. Instead you speak the truth in love, set firm boundaries - and then enforce those boundaries.
If my parents had been so abusive for 60 years, I would have drawn those boundaries long ago. More than likely my interaction with them would be a card and flowers on appropriate occasions, pictures of the kids from time-to-time and little more. I would keep phone calls short and to the point. When they strayed and started behaving in a toxic manner, the phone call would end abruptly. If I met them, it would be on neutral territory, such as at a restaurant for lunch. If they became abuse and behaved in a toxic manner - the lunch would be over. I would get up and leave!
Parents who are toxic and abusive to each other foist their venom on their children and grandchildren. Intelligent adult children would have no part of these shenanigans. And Dear Abby should have said that!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Swearing
Dear Victorious,
I know the Bible says we are not to take the name of the Lord in vain. So I understand that to mean we should say things like, "God d____it!" But what about the other words we hear so commonly. They are ordinary "cuss words" and don't have God's name in them. Does that mean they are okay?
Joseph R. - Jackson, MI
Dear Joseph,
No, just because ordinary cuss words don't invoke the name of the Lord does not mean they are okay. They are not okay. In fact, the Bible tells us that no words should ever come out of our mouth that aren't edifying to others. What that means is that we should never say anything that isn't useful to others. Perhaps your grandmother taught you, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." As it turns out, that's Biblical. Christians should never have words coming out of their mouths that wouldn't come out of Jesus' own mouth. It is that simple.
I know the Bible says we are not to take the name of the Lord in vain. So I understand that to mean we should say things like, "God d____it!" But what about the other words we hear so commonly. They are ordinary "cuss words" and don't have God's name in them. Does that mean they are okay?
Joseph R. - Jackson, MI
Dear Joseph,
No, just because ordinary cuss words don't invoke the name of the Lord does not mean they are okay. They are not okay. In fact, the Bible tells us that no words should ever come out of our mouth that aren't edifying to others. What that means is that we should never say anything that isn't useful to others. Perhaps your grandmother taught you, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." As it turns out, that's Biblical. Christians should never have words coming out of their mouths that wouldn't come out of Jesus' own mouth. It is that simple.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Afraid of Dying
Dear Victorious,
I know you probably think you're saved and will go to heaven. Still though, aren't you afraid to die? (Tell the truth about it too!)
Michelle S. - Oklahoma City
Dear Michelle,
Yes, I think I'm one of God's chosen people, and that my sins are forgiven by the blood Jesus shed on the cross for me. It is personal for me, and not a broad generality that I just take for granted. So am I afraid to die? To be honest, I've never really given it that much thought. I suppose I'm more afraid to live than I am to die. I've seen how difficult life can be. I find that to be much more intimidating than death. In fact, there is nothing that I know about death that I find as onerous as what I know about life here on earth.
I see in Genesis that God created us in His own image. That means I am first a spiritual being. So in a sense, I like to think about death as a return to my natural state. As I write this response, I guess the answer is honestly, no ... I am not afraid of death. I think that if it comes in God's timing and God's way, it will be a perfect blessing.
I know you probably think you're saved and will go to heaven. Still though, aren't you afraid to die? (Tell the truth about it too!)
Michelle S. - Oklahoma City
Dear Michelle,
Yes, I think I'm one of God's chosen people, and that my sins are forgiven by the blood Jesus shed on the cross for me. It is personal for me, and not a broad generality that I just take for granted. So am I afraid to die? To be honest, I've never really given it that much thought. I suppose I'm more afraid to live than I am to die. I've seen how difficult life can be. I find that to be much more intimidating than death. In fact, there is nothing that I know about death that I find as onerous as what I know about life here on earth.
I see in Genesis that God created us in His own image. That means I am first a spiritual being. So in a sense, I like to think about death as a return to my natural state. As I write this response, I guess the answer is honestly, no ... I am not afraid of death. I think that if it comes in God's timing and God's way, it will be a perfect blessing.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Prophets
Dear Victorious,
Just what is a prophet? Are there any Biblical prophets today?
Harold S. - Jackson, MI
Dear Harold,
A prophet, in the Biblical sense, is someone who speaks God's truth to God's people. In the Bible, we see many examples of them. They are more monumental there because people didn't have the Scriptures and God hadn't sent His Holy Spirit yet. So God spoke to people in dreams, appeared in clouds, spoke through prophets, etc. After Jesus arrived, of course everything changed.
There are certainly prophets, in the Biblical sense today. The problem is - and has always been - that people don't like to listen to them. Prophets tend to speak to their own people. After all, that's who they know!
But Jesus said a prophet is never accepted among his own people. In other words, the prophet can be speaking prophetic words. But the people who hear those words will write the prophet off as mouthy, opinionated, judgmental, etc. Put differently, people will discount what the prophet says - so that they don't have to respond to it.
True prophecy is a revelation of truth from God. And revelations always require a response. Think about what God might want to say to people in today's culture. Think about what an appropriate response might be. You can then imagine why people don't want to listen to the prophet!
So I have some questions for you, Harold. If you encounter a prophet, how will you know it? Will you listen to him (or her)?
Just what is a prophet? Are there any Biblical prophets today?
Harold S. - Jackson, MI
Dear Harold,
A prophet, in the Biblical sense, is someone who speaks God's truth to God's people. In the Bible, we see many examples of them. They are more monumental there because people didn't have the Scriptures and God hadn't sent His Holy Spirit yet. So God spoke to people in dreams, appeared in clouds, spoke through prophets, etc. After Jesus arrived, of course everything changed.
There are certainly prophets, in the Biblical sense today. The problem is - and has always been - that people don't like to listen to them. Prophets tend to speak to their own people. After all, that's who they know!
But Jesus said a prophet is never accepted among his own people. In other words, the prophet can be speaking prophetic words. But the people who hear those words will write the prophet off as mouthy, opinionated, judgmental, etc. Put differently, people will discount what the prophet says - so that they don't have to respond to it.
True prophecy is a revelation of truth from God. And revelations always require a response. Think about what God might want to say to people in today's culture. Think about what an appropriate response might be. You can then imagine why people don't want to listen to the prophet!
So I have some questions for you, Harold. If you encounter a prophet, how will you know it? Will you listen to him (or her)?
Friday, April 10, 2009
Britney Spears
Dear Victorious,
Is Britney Spears for real? She seems to struggle a great deal, but her comeback seems real.
Dubious Fan
Dear Dubious,
I can't believe you wrote to me about Britney Spears! But since you did ... no, she's not. She lives in an artificial world. I suspect that she is so out of touch with reality that she'll struggle the rest of her life. I feel sorry for her.
Is Britney Spears for real? She seems to struggle a great deal, but her comeback seems real.
Dubious Fan
Dear Dubious,
I can't believe you wrote to me about Britney Spears! But since you did ... no, she's not. She lives in an artificial world. I suspect that she is so out of touch with reality that she'll struggle the rest of her life. I feel sorry for her.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Bill Gates
Dear Victorious,
Jesus said it is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. We read about people like Bill Gates, who is the richest man in the world. And we read about their so-called philanthropy. But really, can they be doing that much good?
Janice M. - Miami
Dear Janice,
I don't know if Bill Gates will get into heaven or not. I don't even know how hard it may or may not be for him to get into heaven. According to reputable business magazines, he is apparently the richest man in the world. And yes, he and his wife funded a private foundation in their name with Microsoft stock.
Are they really doing any good with it? Of course you could read their annual report and get their IRS filings to see how they report the good that they do. You could also read industry (philanthropy) studies that rank the effectiveness of various charities. Of course that would all take time and require some research on your part. I think there is an easier way.
According to official reports that all non-profit foundations of a certain size are required to file with the U.S. government each year, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation gave away $2,011,456,496 in the fiscal year 2007 (figures for 2008 are not yet available). That is just over $2 billion. It equates to over $5.5 million every single day of the year, $229,618 every hour of every single day of the year and $3,827 every minute of every hour of every single day of the year. They are giving away a lot of money. In 2007 they gave away 29.5% more than they had given away in 2006.
According to the Gates Foundation web site, they only give money to things with "measurable impact." In other words, they try to give money to smart initiatives that really can make a difference - which can be measured. I don't know if they're Christian people or not. But the criteria they're using probably eliminates most religious charities ... with the exception of the more sophisticated ones that may be able to actually measure the impact of their efforts. The Gates' seem to give most of the money to education and health. They've given vast sums to help fight AIDS, provide immunizations in third world countries and educate the poor.
Frankly, I don't find it difficult to believe that Bill and Melinda Gates are doing some good with their money. Whether they're doing all they could, I really don't know. But I applaud what they are doing. And I pray that the organizations and initiatives that they fund will be effective. You should pray that too!
Jesus said it is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. We read about people like Bill Gates, who is the richest man in the world. And we read about their so-called philanthropy. But really, can they be doing that much good?
Janice M. - Miami
Dear Janice,
I don't know if Bill Gates will get into heaven or not. I don't even know how hard it may or may not be for him to get into heaven. According to reputable business magazines, he is apparently the richest man in the world. And yes, he and his wife funded a private foundation in their name with Microsoft stock.
Are they really doing any good with it? Of course you could read their annual report and get their IRS filings to see how they report the good that they do. You could also read industry (philanthropy) studies that rank the effectiveness of various charities. Of course that would all take time and require some research on your part. I think there is an easier way.
According to official reports that all non-profit foundations of a certain size are required to file with the U.S. government each year, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation gave away $2,011,456,496 in the fiscal year 2007 (figures for 2008 are not yet available). That is just over $2 billion. It equates to over $5.5 million every single day of the year, $229,618 every hour of every single day of the year and $3,827 every minute of every hour of every single day of the year. They are giving away a lot of money. In 2007 they gave away 29.5% more than they had given away in 2006.
According to the Gates Foundation web site, they only give money to things with "measurable impact." In other words, they try to give money to smart initiatives that really can make a difference - which can be measured. I don't know if they're Christian people or not. But the criteria they're using probably eliminates most religious charities ... with the exception of the more sophisticated ones that may be able to actually measure the impact of their efforts. The Gates' seem to give most of the money to education and health. They've given vast sums to help fight AIDS, provide immunizations in third world countries and educate the poor.
Frankly, I don't find it difficult to believe that Bill and Melinda Gates are doing some good with their money. Whether they're doing all they could, I really don't know. But I applaud what they are doing. And I pray that the organizations and initiatives that they fund will be effective. You should pray that too!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Easter Bunny
Dear Victorious,
Is it wrong to teach children about the Easter bunny? I've wrestled with the whole Santa Claus thing and find the Easter bunny is grating on me similarly.
Holiday Dilemma
Dear Holiday,
I don't suppose there is anything more wrong with teaching Santa Claus or the Easter bunny than there would be in enjoying fairy tales and other works of fiction, including modern-day cartoons. Mankind has been fascinated and entertained with fiction for centuries.
So what is "grating on you?" My guess is that it is the work of the Holy Spirit - convicting you of something wrong. You see, there is such a thing as carrying it too far. The holiday fantasies that we indulge our children in could - and probably do - serve to put that holiday in the wrong perspective for the child. Even Christian parents have probably often been more intentional in teaching their children the holiday fantasy than they have the holiness of the holiday. This is clearly wrong.
Could we celebrate Christmas without Santa Claus? Probably so. Could we do Easter without the bunny? Probably so. More than likely not that much would have to change. I enjoy indulging in those little marshmallow peeps and jelly beans myself!
Listen to that "grating sound" in your soul and ask God to show you how He wants you to celebrate Easter. And don't be surprised if He asks you to push the Easter bunny to the background ... where it belongs.
Is it wrong to teach children about the Easter bunny? I've wrestled with the whole Santa Claus thing and find the Easter bunny is grating on me similarly.
Holiday Dilemma
Dear Holiday,
I don't suppose there is anything more wrong with teaching Santa Claus or the Easter bunny than there would be in enjoying fairy tales and other works of fiction, including modern-day cartoons. Mankind has been fascinated and entertained with fiction for centuries.
So what is "grating on you?" My guess is that it is the work of the Holy Spirit - convicting you of something wrong. You see, there is such a thing as carrying it too far. The holiday fantasies that we indulge our children in could - and probably do - serve to put that holiday in the wrong perspective for the child. Even Christian parents have probably often been more intentional in teaching their children the holiday fantasy than they have the holiness of the holiday. This is clearly wrong.
Could we celebrate Christmas without Santa Claus? Probably so. Could we do Easter without the bunny? Probably so. More than likely not that much would have to change. I enjoy indulging in those little marshmallow peeps and jelly beans myself!
Listen to that "grating sound" in your soul and ask God to show you how He wants you to celebrate Easter. And don't be surprised if He asks you to push the Easter bunny to the background ... where it belongs.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Sexual Purpose
Dear Victorious,
Why do you think God gave us sexuality?
Jerome D. - Lufkin, TX
Dear Jerome,
That is a loaded question. The Bible provides a great deal of information about sexuality. But it seems you are questioning its purpose. The truth is I really don't know. I can only look at the character and nature of God. I can only look at the character and nature of humanity. I can only consider the evidence before me. As I look at those things, I find myself surmising what might be a plausible answer.
One answer to our sexuality is for procreation. Little happens in any life form to procreate without sexuality. It seems to be a necessary part of how God gives life. Because He put us in human, physical bodies for a time, it would naturally follow that we would need to be sexual beings in order to procreate - according to God's plan for us.
Many mature Christians will tell you that another reason for our sexuality is to unify us. There isn't much in the Bible that dwells on such a theme. But that theory probably comes from the character and nature of God. We know, for example, that God wants us to become one spirit, one body, in holy matrimony. He desires unity for us. He has given us this incredible tool that will naturally drive us together. In our sexuality, we experience the height of human intimacy. We experience the height of pleasure. Ironically, we also experience the height of human vulnerability.
My personal belief? I think our human bodies have the sexual dimension first for the procreation purpose. But I agree with the theory that God uses that dimension for a highly spiritual purpose - to unite us in marriage and strengthen the union of that marriage.
Finally, let me say that in considering the purpose of sexuality, I find it helpful to consider what sexuality is not for. As I see the character and nature of God; as I see the will of God for His people --- it is clear to me that our sexuality is not for selfish reasons. That dimension was not given to us for our shear pleasure. That's not who God is. It has a godly purpose, first and foremost.
So any of the purposes that are self-indulgent automatically come off the list. Just as my hands and feet, heart and head are to please God - so too are my sexual parts. All of my being exists to serve and glorify God.
Why do you think God gave us sexuality?
Jerome D. - Lufkin, TX
Dear Jerome,
That is a loaded question. The Bible provides a great deal of information about sexuality. But it seems you are questioning its purpose. The truth is I really don't know. I can only look at the character and nature of God. I can only look at the character and nature of humanity. I can only consider the evidence before me. As I look at those things, I find myself surmising what might be a plausible answer.
One answer to our sexuality is for procreation. Little happens in any life form to procreate without sexuality. It seems to be a necessary part of how God gives life. Because He put us in human, physical bodies for a time, it would naturally follow that we would need to be sexual beings in order to procreate - according to God's plan for us.
Many mature Christians will tell you that another reason for our sexuality is to unify us. There isn't much in the Bible that dwells on such a theme. But that theory probably comes from the character and nature of God. We know, for example, that God wants us to become one spirit, one body, in holy matrimony. He desires unity for us. He has given us this incredible tool that will naturally drive us together. In our sexuality, we experience the height of human intimacy. We experience the height of pleasure. Ironically, we also experience the height of human vulnerability.
My personal belief? I think our human bodies have the sexual dimension first for the procreation purpose. But I agree with the theory that God uses that dimension for a highly spiritual purpose - to unite us in marriage and strengthen the union of that marriage.
Finally, let me say that in considering the purpose of sexuality, I find it helpful to consider what sexuality is not for. As I see the character and nature of God; as I see the will of God for His people --- it is clear to me that our sexuality is not for selfish reasons. That dimension was not given to us for our shear pleasure. That's not who God is. It has a godly purpose, first and foremost.
So any of the purposes that are self-indulgent automatically come off the list. Just as my hands and feet, heart and head are to please God - so too are my sexual parts. All of my being exists to serve and glorify God.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Racial Equality
Dear Victorious,
Do you believe that there are no differences between the races, except for color of skin?
Harvey C.
Dear Harvey,
Do you believe that there are no differences between the races, except for color of skin?
Harvey C.
Dear Harvey,
Actually, no. I don't believe that all men (and women) are created equal. That would suggest fairness, and there is nothing Biblical to say that life is fair. It isn't. People are not created equal. They are created in God's image ... as spiritual beings. But the earthly, human bodies that we each have been given are different. There are advantages and disadvantages given to different races and even body types.
That being said, we are commanded by God to love our neighbor as we would like to be loved. That means we are not to discriminate against each other. We are not to consider racial, gender or body types as criteria for decision making. Jesus said, "There will always be the poor among you." The Bible is clear that the rest of us are to take care of them. In other words, the advantages that God gives some of us are to be used for the disadvantaged.
If you ask me, racism has been given too much prominence. It divides us more than it unifies us. Instead of focusing on our differences, I think we should focus on our similarities. But we are not all created equal. And as soon as we give up the hope that this truth can be different, it should make it easier to forgive our differences and focus on unity.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Unforgiveable Sin
Dear Victorious,
The Bible speaks of unforgivable sin. I don't understand that. What if a Christian committed an unforgivable sin?
Worried
Dear Worried,
A common understanding of the one and only sin which God is not willing to forgive is that of denying Him. So the thing about unforgivable sin is that it is only unforgivable because it doesn't want to be forgiven. Every other sin that man (or woman) can commit is capable of wanting to be forgiven. But the sin of blasphemy against the holy spirit denies the need for forgiveness from a higher power than mankind himself. And it is the only sin which has such a characteristic.
Sometimes people worry that they may have committed the unforgivable sin. If it matters to you that the sin be forgiven by God, then you haven't committed the unforgivable sin. It is that simple. On the other hand, if you have sin which you don't believe needs to be forgiven - or forgiven by God, then you probably have something to worry about!
The Bible speaks of unforgivable sin. I don't understand that. What if a Christian committed an unforgivable sin?
Worried
Dear Worried,
A common understanding of the one and only sin which God is not willing to forgive is that of denying Him. So the thing about unforgivable sin is that it is only unforgivable because it doesn't want to be forgiven. Every other sin that man (or woman) can commit is capable of wanting to be forgiven. But the sin of blasphemy against the holy spirit denies the need for forgiveness from a higher power than mankind himself. And it is the only sin which has such a characteristic.
Sometimes people worry that they may have committed the unforgivable sin. If it matters to you that the sin be forgiven by God, then you haven't committed the unforgivable sin. It is that simple. On the other hand, if you have sin which you don't believe needs to be forgiven - or forgiven by God, then you probably have something to worry about!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
President's Priorities
Dear Victorious,
If you were elected President of the U.S., what would be the most important thing for you to do?
Voting Age
Dear Voting,
If I were elected president, the most important thing I could do is to confront Congress about their fiscal irresponsibility. I would quickly get into a "show down at the OK corral" with the House and Senate over pork (earmarks). I would veto the first bill they sent me with pork in it. They would probably threaten to shut the country down by not funding anything. I would dare them to do it.
I would get the WhiteHouse.gov web site hosted by a non-government entity and pay them in advance to ensure no interruption in service. Then I'd list the phone numbers and e-mails of every single person in the House and Senate. I'd ask the people of America to blitz the offices of their elected representatives with demands for fiscal responsibility.
I would probably call a press conference and ask the American people to support me - but to brace themselves for the FAA to stop the airlines, the postal service to stop the mail, even Internet URL's wouldn't get issued - whilst I fought it out with Congress. Of course, I'd believe I could eventually prevail and Congress would be forced to change its behavior.
Once we stopped the moronic spending habits of our Congress, we would be able to start working on a realistic plan to retire the national debt. In my mind, this is what's most important for the president of the U.S. right now.
If you were elected President of the U.S., what would be the most important thing for you to do?
Voting Age
Dear Voting,
If I were elected president, the most important thing I could do is to confront Congress about their fiscal irresponsibility. I would quickly get into a "show down at the OK corral" with the House and Senate over pork (earmarks). I would veto the first bill they sent me with pork in it. They would probably threaten to shut the country down by not funding anything. I would dare them to do it.
I would get the WhiteHouse.gov web site hosted by a non-government entity and pay them in advance to ensure no interruption in service. Then I'd list the phone numbers and e-mails of every single person in the House and Senate. I'd ask the people of America to blitz the offices of their elected representatives with demands for fiscal responsibility.
I would probably call a press conference and ask the American people to support me - but to brace themselves for the FAA to stop the airlines, the postal service to stop the mail, even Internet URL's wouldn't get issued - whilst I fought it out with Congress. Of course, I'd believe I could eventually prevail and Congress would be forced to change its behavior.
Once we stopped the moronic spending habits of our Congress, we would be able to start working on a realistic plan to retire the national debt. In my mind, this is what's most important for the president of the U.S. right now.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Obama's Reception
Dear Victorious,
What do you make of President Obama's reception in London this week? It seems the Brits like him better than the Americans do? Is he really that good of a statesman?
Watchful American
Dear Watchful,
I only saw some of the media coverage about Obama's trip to England. Quite honestly, it seemed that the British people were much more enthusiastic about Michelle Obama than they were about Barack Obama!
Leadership is an interesting phenomenon. It is quite possible for someone in a leadership role to have favor with people without meeting any particular leadership criteria. I'm not sure if that's the case here, but I suspect it could be.
To be sure, it is too soon to determine whether Barack Obama is a good national leader or a good world leader. He simply hasn't enough performance to observe. But by the world's standards, he may represent something of a royal standard, especially in the United Kingdom. You see, the British are used to the queen. She doesn't do much of anything, really. But she provides a moral compass that gives people hope. (I experienced that myself when I lived there.) In many respects, I believe Barack and Michelle Obama are perceived similarly.
That the enthusiasm for them in Britain is even greater than in America probably stems from the fact that the British are used to seeing people in this role. Americans? Not so much (unless they're entertainers). Consider how Americans treat entertainers versus politicians. Then compare that to how the British treat entertainers versus how they treat royalty. We simply have no correlation in American culture.
What do I make of the reception the Obama's got in England? I think the British like them. I think the British are hopeful that they will put America back into a world leadership role. But most of all I think they are refreshing change from our most recent president - and the world was certainly ready for that!
What do you make of President Obama's reception in London this week? It seems the Brits like him better than the Americans do? Is he really that good of a statesman?
Watchful American
Dear Watchful,
I only saw some of the media coverage about Obama's trip to England. Quite honestly, it seemed that the British people were much more enthusiastic about Michelle Obama than they were about Barack Obama!
Leadership is an interesting phenomenon. It is quite possible for someone in a leadership role to have favor with people without meeting any particular leadership criteria. I'm not sure if that's the case here, but I suspect it could be.
To be sure, it is too soon to determine whether Barack Obama is a good national leader or a good world leader. He simply hasn't enough performance to observe. But by the world's standards, he may represent something of a royal standard, especially in the United Kingdom. You see, the British are used to the queen. She doesn't do much of anything, really. But she provides a moral compass that gives people hope. (I experienced that myself when I lived there.) In many respects, I believe Barack and Michelle Obama are perceived similarly.
That the enthusiasm for them in Britain is even greater than in America probably stems from the fact that the British are used to seeing people in this role. Americans? Not so much (unless they're entertainers). Consider how Americans treat entertainers versus politicians. Then compare that to how the British treat entertainers versus how they treat royalty. We simply have no correlation in American culture.
What do I make of the reception the Obama's got in England? I think the British like them. I think the British are hopeful that they will put America back into a world leadership role. But most of all I think they are refreshing change from our most recent president - and the world was certainly ready for that!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
True Christian
Dear Victorious,
You've recently written about true religions. I've also seen you refer to people who are "so-called Christians" or "self professed Christians." Apparently you think some people who claim to be Christians may not really be. (And I don't disagree.) So what is a true Christian?
Striving for Truth
Dear Striving,
A true Christian is someone who believes both inwardly and outwardly that Jesus' death on the cross was God's plan to offer them forgiveness and absolution from sin, as well as eternal life with Him - as a free gift. They have accepted that offer from God through faith - and are seeking to live a life of obedient gratitude for what God has done for them.
The problem in any society is that many people claim to believe. But what they actually believe is that God exists. Quite frankly, even Satan and his demons believe that! So simply believing in God is not what defines a Christian. Rather the definition comes from the obedience that faith always brings about.
It is very true that our obedience to God's ways is not what makes us His people. However, when we are truly His people (i.e., truly belong to Him), obedience to God's ways is really quite inevitable. Put another way, when we are true Christians, we will naturally change and live our lives the way Jesus would live them. We will begin to look more and more like Jesus as we grow in our Christian faith. The Jesus - who lives inside of a true Christian - won't allow anything else.
So rather than worry about whether or not your behavior reflects Christ, it is best to focus on growing closer to Christ. When we nurture our relationship with Christ, He changes our behaviors, our thought patterns, etc. such that we begin to look more and more like Christ.
You've recently written about true religions. I've also seen you refer to people who are "so-called Christians" or "self professed Christians." Apparently you think some people who claim to be Christians may not really be. (And I don't disagree.) So what is a true Christian?
Striving for Truth
Dear Striving,
A true Christian is someone who believes both inwardly and outwardly that Jesus' death on the cross was God's plan to offer them forgiveness and absolution from sin, as well as eternal life with Him - as a free gift. They have accepted that offer from God through faith - and are seeking to live a life of obedient gratitude for what God has done for them.
The problem in any society is that many people claim to believe. But what they actually believe is that God exists. Quite frankly, even Satan and his demons believe that! So simply believing in God is not what defines a Christian. Rather the definition comes from the obedience that faith always brings about.
It is very true that our obedience to God's ways is not what makes us His people. However, when we are truly His people (i.e., truly belong to Him), obedience to God's ways is really quite inevitable. Put another way, when we are true Christians, we will naturally change and live our lives the way Jesus would live them. We will begin to look more and more like Jesus as we grow in our Christian faith. The Jesus - who lives inside of a true Christian - won't allow anything else.
So rather than worry about whether or not your behavior reflects Christ, it is best to focus on growing closer to Christ. When we nurture our relationship with Christ, He changes our behaviors, our thought patterns, etc. such that we begin to look more and more like Christ.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
April Fool
Dear Victorious,
What is a fool?
Robert C.
Dear Robert,
What is a fool?
Robert C.
Dear Robert,
There are many definitions of a fool or of being foolish. Most of them seem to center around being stupid. I don't think that is really the case though. People who really lack intelligence are not fools from what I can tell. They are innocent in their ignorance.
A true fool is someone who doesn't know of their ignorance - and behaves as if it doesn't exist. A fool will always assume that he or she is right. A fool typically believes that their perspective is the most accurate. Fools talk more than they listen - because they believe the one speaking is the most important. Fools are not teachable, and tend to learn very little from anyone else or even from their own mistakes. A fool will have a lifetime of experience ... but no wisdom.
A fool can be an intelligent person. We're not talking about an IQ here. But what one does with one's intelligence seems to be the difference between a fool and a wise person. Oddly enough, it is the wise man who is usually most aware of his own ignorance. And it is the fool who is usually most aware of his own brilliance.
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