Mothers & Daughters

Dear Victorious,

Why do you think that mothers and daughters have such a difficult time being close as they get older?

Nadine E. - Tulsa, OK

Dear Nadine,

I don't think it's a universal truth that all mothers and daughters have a difficult time being close as they get older. But I will concede that many do. I suppose that reason that many do is that they are so similar in character and nature ... and they are so unwilling to yield to each other. If either person in a relationship is more interested in being right than being reconciled, the relationship will be difficult at best. I suspect that these relationships are mostly troubled by the inability of the parties to draw firm boundaries with each other as well.

Marriage Secret

Dear Victorious,

In a nutshell, what is the secret to a good marriage?

David S. - Frisco, TX

Dear David,

There may be several secrets to a good marriage. But I can think of three right off the top of my head. That I can focus on them so quickly makes me believe they are probably the most important. They are, in no particular order - hard work, sacrifice and forgiveness.

Marriages don't work. If you want a successful marriage you and your partner will have to work hard at it. Be intentional about developing good habits like date nights, having regular conversation, listening, etc. Take courses. Read books. Think of people you know who have good marriages and model yours after theirs. Ask them their secrets too!

Sacrifice is a huge part of any good marriage. You don't get your way any more. You'll have to set aside your wants and sometimes your needs for the sake of the marriage. Your needs won't get met. Your desires won't get fulfilled. Your dreams won't come true. Reconcile yourself to that truth and be willing to compromise every single day. The Bible says men are to love their wives "as Christ loved the church." Jesus took all the blame. He gave up his life. He forgave everything. That's how Christ loved the church. Now you go do the same.

Finally, forgiveness is critical. As Christ loved the church, He forgives everything. In fact, Christ already decided before you were born that He would forgive all of your sins. You'll have to do the same with your spouse. Either you deal with the issues or you forgive them. And in any marriage, you'll be called upon to forgive quite a lot. Decide now that's how you'll handle it. Blame, bitterness, resentment, anger, jealousy and other alternatives will kill your marriage.

Abortion Disclosure

Dear Victorious,

I am engaged to marry the love of my life. The thing is I had an abortion years ago, when I was in college. I don't want to be secretive and want to be totally up front with my fiance. However, he is a very good man who is extremely opposed to abortion. He's flat out referred to it as murder. I'm afraid if I tell him about this part of my past, he will rethink his decision to marry me. What should I do?

K.C. - Palm Springs, CA

Dear K.C.,

Tell him. You didn't say whether or not you consider yourself a Christ-follower. But I'll assume since you're reading my blog and asking me for advice, you at least consider the Biblical perspective relevant. The Bible is clear that abortion can be forgiven. But the Bible is equally clear that abortion is wrong. Your fiance is correct in referring to it as murder.

The thing is, even otherwise virtuous people make the abortion decision out of ignorance, selfishness or other misguided motives. The appropriate response is to repent. You agree with God that what you did was wrong. And you own up to what you did.

That doesn't mean you advertise it to the world. But when you are about to get intimately involved with someone and commit the rest of your lives to each other - such a secret would be absolutely toxic to your relationship.

If you haven't worked through the guilt and shame with a therapist or in some sort of healing ministry, it is quite probable that you'll bring that into this marriage. You'll bring it into your relationship with any children you may have in the future. Don't do that to yourself. And for heaven sakes, don't do that to this man whom you love so much.

Premarital Sex

Dear Victorious,

I know the Bible says we aren't supposed to have sex outside of marriage. But isn't that an extreme interpretation of the Bible?

Daniel P. - Council Bluffs, NE

Dear Daniel,

No, it's not an "extreme interpretation." Like other things in the Bible that aren't very popular, it is incredibly succinct and clear. Adultery and fornication are both forbidden. So sex outside of a marriage is ungodly. Period.

More than that, spiritual or emotional intimacy are not intended to be shared outside of marriage. Too often in our culture we meet someone, decide we like them and then share our hearts with them. When it doesn't work out, we are incredibly wounded. The thing is, God never intended us to be alone. But He also never intended us to be promiscuous with our sexuality, our emotions, our spirit or any other part of ourselves.

Finally, let me just say that there are consequences when we become intimate inappropriately. It impacts our ability to bond with others in appropriate relationships. Even for people who satisfy themselves sexually with pornography ... such consequences are very real. More than that, we often take our wounded psyche into those relationships --- and innocent people end up getting hurt by our sins of the past.

You would do well to take the Bible more seriously.

New Constitution?

Dear Victorious,

I read your answer to a letter the other day about the U.S. Constitution's guarantee of the "pursuit of life, liberty and happiness." If you were a founding father, what might you have put in our Constitution instead?

Martha H. - Flower Mound, TX

Dear Martha,

There are many thoughts that come to my mind. But 1 Timothy 2:2 contains some very sound tenets that I think might be appropriate as the fabric for a nation. It says, "... that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness."

To my way of thinking, that is a considerably better alternative to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." The latter seems to feed our selfishness and fan the flames of unrighteousness. It would be much better to be a nation with founding principles that point us to godly living.

Punished Nation

Dear Victorious,

I heard one of those screaming black preachers the other day (you can tell I'm white) talking about how God is punishing America for its sinful ways. Such talk just makes me want to puke! How can such nut jobs call themselves Christians? Why doesn't the Christian community silence these whackos?

Anonymous - South Bend, IN

Dear Anonymous,

I'm curious why you would write anonymously. Almost no one ever does. At any rate, there is a real dilemma here for Christians. Yes, these people sound radical. Certainly what they're saying isn't pleasant to hear. At the same time, there is that chance that there is a shred of truth in what they're saying. Most of us aren't ready to agree with them. That's not because we disagree with them. Rather it's because we don't have enough information to know for sure. They are obviously more confident of their conclusions than we are.

According to the Old Testament (which spans an immense amount of the world's history), God's wrath and judgment often fell on entire nations because of the sins of the people within those nations. So it is clear to us today that this is the character and nature of God. There is precedent for the fact that He does punish entire nations for the sins of people within those nations.

So is God punishing America for its sinful ways? The truth is that nobody really knows for sure. But perhaps the reason the Christian community doesn't do more to silence these "whackos" - as you call them - is because we know that is who God is, and we know of America's sinful ways.

We have spent far too many years thinking that America is God's blessed promised land. I imagine most Americans picture Christ returning not to Jerusalem --- but rather they imagine Him returning to Los Angeles or New York! We sing God Bless America and wave our flags and confuse patriotic pride with national holiness.

America is certainly a blessed nation. At the same time, it is a sinful nation. And history tells us what God does with sinful nations --- even the ones He loves the most.

Jealous God

Dear Victorious,

Is God really jealous? Isn't that a problem?

Stedman N. - Santa Rosa, CA

Dear Stedman,

Yes, God can certainly be a jealous God. Deuteronomy 4:24 & 5:9 as well as Nahum 1:2 are a couple of Scriptures that come to mind in terms of God being jealous.

And yes, jealousy is a defect of character ... for humans. Like everything else about God, His jealousy is perfect. When God's jealousy is aroused, it is because of our ungratefulness and unfaithfulness. Even then, He seasons His responses with grace and patience. God's jealousy over us represents an honor worthy of our deepest gratitude.

When God is jealous, it is because He wants the very best for us. (We should want it too!)

False Teachers

Dear Victorious,

I know you've blogged about false teachers. How can believers really identify them?

Andrew D. - Lubbock, TX

Dear Andrew,

The first way that believers identify false prophets or false teachers is through the leading and discernment of the Holy Spirit. If you don't have the Holy Spirit operating in you - you are very likely to be sucked into the deception of false teaching.

That said, there are some common characteristics that often give false teachers away.

1. They teach what is contrary to Scripture. In other words, their teaching doesn't line up with the Bible's truths.

2. They promote trivial and sometimes controversial concepts - instead of leading people directly to Christ.

3. They aren't concerned about evidence of Christ's presence and lordship in their own personal lives.

4. Their motivation is to make a name for themselves. They are more concerned with being known than being effective.

If you encounter a lay or professional Christian leader who exhibits these traits, you should get on your knees and seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Only with His leading can you know for sure.

Lose Salvation

Dear Victorious,

More than once I have heard Christians in churches talking about whether or not someone can lose their salvation. It seems the Scriptures even talk about someone who falls away from the faith, or is handed over to the devil. Even Judas, Jesus' disciple followed Christ and then turned away from him. The Bible says that "the devil entered into him." I know churches teach that you cannot lose your salvation, but is it really true? The Bible seems to be conflicting about this.

Amanda S. - Baton Rouge, LA

Dear Amanda,

The Bible is clear that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Once we have chosen Christ, the only way that we could lose our salvation is if we could somehow "unchoose" Christ. So ask yourself if it is possible for someone who truly knows Christ to somehow stop believing in Him. That would be the only way someone could lose their salvation. As far as we know, it is also not possible.

The better question is whether someone truly had their salvation in the first place. I suspect there are many so-called Christians walking around today without true salvation. They go to church. They may have been baptized or taken communion or confirmed, etc. But they never actually surrendered their life to Christ. Jesus said that, "not everyone who cries, 'Lord, Lord' will see the kingdom of heaven." What He meant is that not everyone who says they are a Christian or who thinks they are a Christian (i.e., is saved) actually is.

Rather than worry about whether we can lose our salvation, we should focus our energy on making sure we have it in the first place. We do that by obeying Christ - which is the evidence of our love for Him.

Space Worries

Dear Victorious,

I saw your letter today about space aliens and other life forms that God may have made. If you were an astronaut, what worries do you think you'd have in space (other than getting stranded there).

Marci S. - Redondo Beach, CA

Dear Marci,

If I were an astronaut in space, or on the space station, I expect some of my worries or concerns would be similar to other forms of travel. I'd care about the welfare of my family in my absence. I'd pray that they be taken care of and that God protect their hearts should I fail to return. And of course I'd pray for a safe journey! But there are a couple of other things I'd be thinking about.

First, what might happen if Christ returned to earth while I am away (from it)? Would I get taken out of space? Or would I simply watch out the window and hope He stuck around until I got back?

Second, what's going on in space that we don't know about? We know a lot about space these days. But the thing we don't know is what we don't know. In other words, do we know enough about the limitations of our knowledge when it comes to space?

Fortunately, I'm old and unlikely to ever have to face such questions!

Beyond Salvation

Dear Victorious,

I know God's love and forgiveness is for everyone, but sometimes it seems people can be so evil or so messed up that you wonder how on earth God could salvage them. Can anyone be beyond God's salvation?

Myra R. - Ravenna, OH

Dear Myra,

Of course the Biblical answer is no - God's saving grace is for every man, woman or child who ever lived on this planet. You mention wondering how on earth God could save some people. That's just it - He doesn't do it on earth. God's saving grace is divine and supernatural. It is not of this world. If it were it would be severely limited in what it could accomplish. So God's salvation is truly for everyone.

That said, I can think of two situations where someone might, of their own choice, put themselves beyond salvation. In both cases, it is when someone has rejected Christ and given themselves no more options to accept him.

The first one is obvious - dead people. Those who have already lived their lives rejecting Christ and died from their earthly life are now beyond salvation. They cannot consciously choose Christ (that we know of).

The second one is when people fry their brains on drugs. It's rare, but it has been known to happen - when someone so abuses drugs that they incapacitate themselves mentally. It is possible that in doing so they have wiped out their mental ability to choose Christ. If that were to happen, I suspect they would be beyond salvation. (And this is different from people who never had the mental capacity in the first place.)

Martians

Dear Victorious,

Do you think it's possible, from a Biblical perspective, that there are people living on other planets? It seems we've spent a lifetime imagining space aliens, Martians and other forms of life. Yet we haven't found it. Moreover, we haven't found any place in space that could actually sustain life.

Zachary B. - Dallas, TX

Dear Zachary,

Yes, I think it's possible. The Bible says that God created the heavens and the earth. It then goes on to speak of what He put on the earth (including mankind). It is silent about what else God may have created, or where.

Just because we haven't found life elsewhere doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And you have to remember that finding a place that would sustain life is currently limited to "life as we know it." The truth is, we don't know what other forms of life there could be. We are certainly aware of a spiritual realm of life that we can't see, touch, or even find. Nobody knows, for example, the precise location of heaven or hell.

It would not surprise me to find that God has created others elsewhere. But it would also not surprise me if mankind never finds them. God is way bigger than most of us can even begin to imagine. So is His creation.

Pursuit of Happiness

Dear Victorious,

The U.S. Constitution says that its citizens are entitled to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Do you think that's wise?

Hank R. - Gadsen, AL

Dear Hank,

No, I don't. It sounds good and noble, of course. But the problem is happiness is poorly defined in the U.S. Constitution. We've spent the last 230 years writing laws, bills and other forms of legislation to box in the pursuit of happiness. We knew that life was an entitlement. We knew that slavery wouldn't be allowed (liberty). But it pretty much left everything else to interpretation.

We have since learned that when left to their own devices, Americans can define the "pursuit of happiness" in many ways that infringe on the rights of others. It can become very offensive to everyone else, if not dangerous.

It may have been better for the American constitution to define something else besides happiness as our inalienable right. I believe if most of us were honest, we'd like to see happiness as something that doesn't offend, infringe or hurt anyone else. We'd like to see happiness that doesn't disenfranchise someone else. We'd like everyone to be winners - as long as there were no losers.

It seems to me that we are now locked in a struggle to pursue and achieve happiness --- when it is an abstract notion that few of us can actually define ... much less achieve.

Book of Life?

Dear Victorious,

I've heard references to having one's name in the "book of life." What is this book? Where is it? How do we get our names in it?

C.J. - Thompson, IA

Dear C.J.

There are two perspectives on the Book of Life.

In the Old Testament, the references are to those who are in right relationship with God. Psalm 1:3, 7:9, 11:7, 34:12, 37:17 & 29, 55:22, 75:10, 92:12-14 and 140:13 are all examples of such references.

In the New Testament, the references are to those who have eternal life with God. Philippians 4:3, Revelation 3:5, 13:8 and 20:15 are all examples of such references.

This is not a literal book, but rather a point of reference to those whom God approves of. In either case, it refers to those who are in right relationship with God ... either through their own obedience (which proved to be impossible) or through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, on whom they believe.

Joyful Attitude?

Dear Victorious,

We are exposed to so much negative news very day, how can anyone be positive? Even as a Christian, it often feels like we're being overwhelmed by bad news on every front. How can anyone stay positive and maintain a joyful attitude in the midst of this chaotic madness?

Virginia M. - Cupertino, CA

Dear Virginia,

You maintain your joyful attitude by focusing on the things that are worthy of your time and attention. Those will not be found in the news media spewing forth its madness. Philippians 4:8 tells us to focus on things that are excellent, lovely and "worthy of praise." Like I said, you won't find that on the evening news or on the front page of the morning paper.

Start your day with things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 goes on to say that we should fill our minds with such things. That means fill our time with them too. Think about such things.

If you're having trouble maintaining a joyful attitude, my guess is that you are focusing on the noise around you and not on things referenced in Philippians 4:8.

Great Lessons

Dear Victorious,

What is the greatest lesson you've ever learned?

Gene W. - Sheffield, U.K.

Dear Gene,

My first instinct is to ask you to define the term "greatest." It can probably be defined in several different ways. For the sake of brevity though, let's assume that greatest means "most valuable." In that context, let me answer your question.

The greatest (i.e., most valuable) life lesson I've ever learned is that truth and circumstances are not the same thing. Similarly, and equally important, I've learned that feelings and perceptions are not always true. In fact, they are great liars.

The Bible tells us to "lean not on your own understanding." This is sage advice for anyone. Our understanding is flawed and often biased. It can be based on incomplete or inaccurate information. Often our perceptions or feelings drive our understanding.

The best wisdom I've gained in life is to look for the truth. To do so, I often have to set aside what I know, think, feel, hear, see, or even experience. And I definitely have to set aside what other people say!

Hurtful Words

Dear Victorious,

A close friend recently said something to me that was hurtful. I'm having difficulty getting past this. What do you recommend?

Jane C. - Littleton, CO

Dear Jane,
When anyone says something critical to us or about us it is hurtful. That is especially true when the words come from someone whom we regard highly (such as a close friend or loved one). But rather than focus on our hurt feelings, there is a choice we can make responsibly to move beyond the hurt.

Is what the person said about me true of me? If it is, I need to own it. For example, if my friend said I'm a gossip - I need to really consider whether or not that is true. If it is, I need to admit it and commit myself to changing.

If what the person said about me is not true, then I need to forgive it. End of story. We could focus on how wrong that person is - but that will only stand in the way of reconciliation. I often find myself asking a simple question. "Do I want to be right ... or do I want to be reconciled.?" Very frequently, I cannot be both.

People say things that wound us. Sometimes that's on purpose. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes what they say is true. Sometimes it's not. Regardless, we always have a choice about how to respond. If it's true - own it and do something about it. If it's not - forgive it and move on. Your hurt feelings are the least relevant point in the matter.

Offensive Mail

Dear Victorious,

Someone posted comments on your blog last week that were extremely derogatory to Christianity. (They were responding to your post about an ancient Bible being made available to the public on-line.) As a Christian myself, I found it offensive. Why haven't you deleted it?

Susan G. - Irving, TX

Dear Susan,

I didn't delete it (yet) because I've been considering the merits of free speech. It doesn't escape me that this individual is reading my blog. You have to ask yourself why. While they haven't posted as comments, I've received other responses to my blog from people who absolutely do not share my faith in Jesus Christ. But like I said, it doesn't escape me that they are reading my unabashedly Christian blog. You have to ask yourself why.

It occurs to me that perhaps a little more tolerance on the dialogue of religion would go a long way to further the cause of truth. It is my blog and I reserve the right to delete any comments I want to. But as of today, I am not inclined to do so.

Second Coming

Dear Victorious,

I hear Christians talk about how much they are looking forward to Jesus' second coming. It's spoken of as a day of judgment in the Bible though, so I wonder if it will really be that wonderful for Christians. After all - we stand to be judged too! Even if it weren't judgment day though, I still have trouble thinking of a time when I will be glad to leave behind all the things I love about this earth and life on it. I've always been an optimist and don't see things as that bad here. How can Christians sincerely look forward to this second coming?

Arthur Z. - El Paso, TX

Dear Arthur,

Even if you are an optimist (and I'm not sure we would all agree on what that means), you can still look forward to the day of Christ's return. There are three simple reasons to do so.

1. It will be the end of sin. Period.
2. It will be the beginning of a face-to-face relationship with Jesus Christ, God Himself.
3. Everything we will leave behind in this world will pale in comparison to the first two things.

This last one is perhaps the clincher for you. Think of the things you hold dear and enjoy - the things you don't imagine you'd ever be glad to give up. Then understand that the first two reasons I just gave you are so much better that you'll not even be mindful of what you're not taking with you!

It is an abstract notion, I agree. The best way to get your mind around it is to spend time contemplating what the end of sin will be like. Consider all the pain that sin causes in this world. And contemplate what it will be like to have a face-to-face relationship with Jesus Christ that will never end. As you focus on the glory of these two things, letting go of your present day circumstances will become easier. I promise.

Victory Over Sin?

Dear Victorious,

I read your post the other day quoting 1 John 3 - saying that if Christ is in us we can't continue to sin. So if a Christian is still struggling with a particular sin - what should he or she do about it?

Charles W. - Wilmingonton, DE

Dear Charles,

Often people tell me they struggle with this or that. I usually think to myself, "That's a good thing! You should struggle against it; that is much better than just embracing it." True Christ-followers are grieved by their own sin and want to resolve it. Here's how they should go about doing that.

1. Seek the power of the Holy Spirit through prayer and through God's Word. (A wise man once told me that it is impossible to be transformed by something with which I am not familiar.)
2. Stay away from tempting situations. Actively flee temptation.
3. Seek the help of the body of Christ. Be open to their willingness to hold you accountable and to pray for you.

For the most part, our human nature seems only ready to embrace the second point above. We try to resist temptation on our own - which almost never works. We are too lazy to pray and read our Bibles, and too proud to air our dirty laundry in the church. However, if we could learn to overcome those two things, we could stop struggling with a particular sin pattern in our life ... and find true victory over it instead.

What To Know

Dear Victorious,

There seems to be a lot that Christians need to learn. What is the most important thing for Christians to learn or know?

Amanda S. - Littleton, CO

Dear Amanda,

I would say that there are three, maybe four things that true Christ-followers must know.

1. Who we are: members of God's family. His chosen ones.
2. Who we are becoming: reflections of God Himself.
3. What we have: (a) victory over sin, (b) love for others and (c) confidence before God.

I guess that's just the three. The fourth thing I was thinking of is actually just expounding on 3.(a) above.

1 John 3:6 tells us, "No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen Him or known Him." Similarly, 1 John 3:8 continues, "He who does what is sinful is of the devil; ..."

What this means is we truly have victory over sin. That is evidence of the Christ in us. Before I followed Christ I embraced my sinful ways. I would, for example, plan with my friends to go out drinking. It was my plan to sin. Today I am still a sinner - but it is my plan to live righteously. When I sin, I am aware of it, ashamed of it, grieved by it and I want to turn from it. That is evidence of the Christ in us. Truly, when we draw close to Him - He gives us victory over sin.

I believe that is one of the most misunderstood aspects of Christianity. And if true Christ followers could just grasp that one thing - their lives would start to look radically different.

Michael's Kids

Dear Victorious,

Who do you think should get Michael Jackson's children?

Grieving Fan

Dear Grieving,

It is an interesting question. But I suppose the better way to ask it would be to ask what criteria should be used to determine who gets Michael Jackson's children. There is no doubt that his mother (their grandmother) is a kind and loving woman. At least two of them have a biological mother who seemed to have truly loved their father (albeit in a very unconventional way). Diana Ross has been mentioned in his will - as being someone who should take over if his mother cannot. To me, she's the wild card here. Would Diana Ross be a good mother? Does she have any sort of relationship with the children? If I were the judge, I would ask those questions!

Perhaps the best answer would be to call upon the nanny who basically raised these kids for so many years. If I were the judge, I would most likely award legal guardianship to their grandmother (Michael's mother) - but order her to employ the same nanny for at least the next 5-10 years to provide the kids with some consistency. Besides, at nearly 80 years old, Grandma would need some help chasing after three kids!

Advice Columnists

Dear Victorious,

What do you think of popular advice columnists like Dear Abby or Ann Landers? Do they give good advice?

Jonathan A. - Riverside, CA

Dear Jonathan,

I often look at Ann Landers and Dear Abby columns. Sometimes I visit others, such as Ask Caroline or the Laskas one in Reader's Digest. Just this week, I read a letter in one from a 35 year old reader who's mother was controlling and domineering. She required the woman to call her every night. The woman resented it and wanted to know what they could do. Abby told her to keep the calls brief. That totally overlooked the fact that the woman (who was 35 years old) should be drawing firm boundaries. The real truth is that her mother could not make her feel guilty unless she allowed it. Of course, the advice columnist totally missed that pearl of wisdom.

Just yesterday, the Dear Abby column was particularly annoying because Abby cited the popular response as validation of the appropriateness of one of her answers. A reader had written in, she answered, and then some of her readers took exception to her answer. Sadly, rather than engage in a constructive dialogue, she simply pointed out that the reader taking exception to her answer (which was lame and stupid) was in the minority. She assumed that popular opinion made her right. (It doesn't.)

In general these advice columns are entertainment at best. At worst, they are places where someone might feasibly rely on them for actual advice about life. But these are people who aren't trained, aren't seriously trying to help others run their lives effectively - and are often wrong and misguided. When we go for advice from someone else, we all need to be a bit more discriminating about who it is that we listen to. That is as important (if not more so) as the advice they give out.

Do they share our values? Do they share our world view? Do they submit to the same God we submit to? Are their priorities similar to ours? Are they likely to be wiser and have better life experience and life skills than we do? These are the kinds of questions we need to have answered before we consider seeking advice from someone else. Nearly 100% of the time, the advice people seek in these columns regards relationships - which are complex. God's Word gives us splendid advice about how to have effective relationships. I can imagine no better place to start than God's Word. (This is why I recommend Biblically-based counseling and coaching.)

Michael's Funeral

Dear Victorious,

What do you make of the lottery for tickets to attend the memorial service for Michael Jackson?

Lorraine N. - St. Paul, MN

Dear Lorraine,

I think it is another case of Michael's family trying to exploit him and capitalize on the opportunity. The Jacksons have always been very shrewd business people. They know that Michael could be worth much more in death and than he was ever worth alive. But they know that will take a carefully crafted strategy. What they're doing is brilliant.

The only thing that surprises me about it is that it's not even larger - such as being simulcast in multiple stadiums at once. I suspect that Michael Jackson's memorial service could fill several stadiums across the country or even in places outside the country. The thing that disappoints me is that this is true. The spiritual emptiness of the American people is shocking.

I read a letter to the editor of a newspaper yesterday - where someone wrote in and talked about how their "life has ceased to have any meaning" now that Michael Jackson is dead. Can you imagine anything more pathetic? Surely this is not the proper perspective for any of us to have Michael Jackson in!

Suicide in Heaven

Dear Victorious,

So if God could feasibly forgive homosexuality (which you said the other day), what about suicide? Could someone who commits suicide still end up in heaven?

Donald R. - Tyler, TX

Dear Donald,

Of course God can forgive suicide. You have to remember that Jesus died for our sins --- before we committed any of them! So He died to forgive our sins past, present and future. God already decided what He would do about our sin - if only we would turn to Him and believe on His Son. People who commit suicide are incredibly ill emotionally and perhaps even mentally. Their thinking is flawed and they are believing lies. But that does not mean that they could not belong to God. The criteria for getting into heaven is the result of God's judgment on our lives, our heart and our intent. I fully expect to see some suicide victims in heaven.

Sarah Palin

Dear Victorious,

So Sarah Palin resigned as governor. What do you think of her? How should we regard her?

Ed T. - Moran, WY

Dear Ed,

I guess I would regard Sarah Palin as I would any other intelligent, political leader. I listened to her resignation speech and could discern little, if any motive for her resignation. I don't doubt that she has a motive. It's just that she hasn't shared it very clearly. To me, that is a clever strategy. She's playing a political game and doesn' show all the cards in her hand. She's a smart lady. I suppose the real test is whether or not she can use her brains to overcome her colloquial demeanor and transform herself into a statesman.

America's Challenge

Dear Victorious,

What do you think is the greatest challenge or threat facing America today?

Nadine Chin - Providence, RI

Dear Nadine,

The U.S. of America has many serious challenges and threats in the world today. But I believe the greatest of these is the one we'll see in the mirror. Our national debt is the most obvious symptom of the fact that we've lost our moral compass. We are not the land of the free or the home of the brave. We are the land of the greedy and the home of the miserable - who've drowned in their pursuit of happiness. If I have one fear for America it is that we have gone too far in order to come back. We may have so lost our moral compass that we can't ever get it back again. And a future without that moral compass is the most frightening thing I can imagine.

Forgiving Homosexuality

Dear Victorious,

So I understand that the Bible forbids homosexuality, and that you believe those who proclaim themselves as gay or lesbian are merely deceived by their temptations. But do you think God forgives them for that? Will we see openly gay and lesbian people in heaven?

Arnie T. - San Clemente, CA

Dear Arnie,

The Bible says that homosexual activity is an abomination. Jesus said that if we commit adultery in our minds, it's as bad as if we'd committed it physically. So I understand the person who is tempted with same-sex attraction to be doubly damned. It's a hell I wouldn't wish on anyone.

On the other hand, I also understand that God's grace and forgiveness are far bigger than any of us can even begin to comprehend. Only God knows the true intent of one's heart - and I believe that is what He will measure as He checks us into heaven (or hell). I won't be surprised to find people whom I thought were gay or lesbian in heaven one day. But it won't be because God condoned or even tolerated their choice of a homosexual lifestyle. It will be because He saw the (repentant) condition of their hearts and was compelled by love to forgive them.

Submission

Dear Victorious,

I've read your writing about how Christians are supposed to submit to God, submit to leaders, etc. Just what exactly is submission?

Hannah M. - Jackson Hole, WY

Dear Hannah,

Submission is voluntarily cooperating with someone - but not because you agree with them or want the same things they want. Rather the first motives for this cooperation are love and respect for God - and then love and respect for that person.

Christian submission never requires us to disobey God or compromise our own conscience. It never requires us to remain in an unsafe situation. But it can require tremendous inner strength. This is particularly true when it is one-sided submission. So submission may be something that you can only achieve with the help of the Holy Spirit's power within you.

Heartache?

Dear Victorious,

You seem to be happy and well adjusted. Is there anything that simply breaks your heart? Is there anything that you cry about?

Keith S. - Dallas, TX

Dear Keith,

Yes, of course there is. Right now the thing most likely to move me to tears would be my children. In addition to the three I have here in the U.S., my wife and I adopted eight AIDS orphans in 2007. When I go visit them in Africa it is a sweet time that I treasure. And as I say good-bye and drive away from them I am often choked up in tears.