Dear Victorious,
I'm in seminary and plan to be a church pastor for my lifelong profession. What mistakes do churches typically make that I should be aware of if I'm going to be successful as a pastor?
Gerald R. - Dallas, TX
Dear Gerald,
There are lots of mistakes that churches make. What are the biggest or the most important is maybe the better way to ask that question. But before I answer it, I have a question for you. How do you define being "successful as a pastor?"
The answer to that question is where I think most pastors get it wrong. Pastors are called to tend sheep - not attract large numbers of them. Pastors are called to grow sheep - not entertain or satisfy them. Pastors are called to lead and love sheep - not to write books or build a career as a motivational speaker.
So what are the most serious (and common) mistakes that churches (and their leaders) make? Here are just a few that come to mind.
1. Not loving the sheep. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. So you can be a really great preacher - but if you're not also a really great lover, your sermons will just be noise. (Of course to love someone means to be in relationship with them.)
2. Focusing on the numbers. Large numbers of people can be the result of the spiritual growth in a church. But they are not the measure of spiritual growth in a church. Indeed some of the most spiritually immature churches can also be the largest.
3. Expecting the people in the church to "take responsibility" for their own spiritual growth. Sheep cannot teach themselves. They cannot clean themselves. They can actually do precious little for themselves. They must be very intentionally led and cared for.
4. Not spending enough time in prayer. Jesus Christ is the head of the church. Pastors are called to speak for Him and to do His work. It is impossible to serve that agenda if you are not constantly focused on that agenda (Christ's will). Too often churches have meetings to talk about problems or set goals and objectives. But the most important of such meetings is the one we have with God.
5. Focusing on the money. Too often we think that if the church is not in financial distress that everything is okay. Fiscal stability is not the measure of a healthy church. In fact, some of the most wealthy churches can also be some of the most lame and ineffective.
You can see that this list is robust. I could probably go on, but these are some of the most common and important (mistakes of churches) that come to mind.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Bible Study
Dear Victorious,
I know we are supposed to study our Bibles daily. But I just cannot seem to stick to that. I've tried the reading plans and lots of other gimmicks, but nothing works. How do you develop that discipline in your life?
Terry B. - Prosper, TX
Dear Terry,
You won't develop the discipline until you develop the value proposition. In other words, you have to want to read you Bible. And you won't want to read it until you come to the belief that there is something of value in there for you.
So how do you come to that sort of belief? I started with a good daily devotional. I particularly like Oswald Chambers or A.W. Tozer (authors) devotionals. Pick them up at your local Christian book store or search for their daily devotionals at any on-line book store. Then commit to reading just one page per day. Get an ink pen when you read that page - and look for something to underline that speaks to you, represents your thinking, challenges you, etc. My guess is you'll find something to underline every single day. (I did.)
After a year or so of using daily devotionals, I was really into that and kind of disappointed when I finished the one I was using. By then it was a daily habit, so I moved up to my Bible. Commit to reading just one chapter a day, in anything that you'll read. (Proverbs is an easy place to start.) Again, get an ink pen and look for something to underline each day that speaks to you, challenges you, comforts or encourages you, etc. Again, my guess is you'll find something every day.
Why the underlining? Because what we're looking for and marking are the value propositions. As you learn how and make a habit of finding them, you will find the desire to read your Bible daily will grow. Eventually, with enough value propositions, you'll feel as if you're missing out when you don't read you Bible. That's because you'll know deep inside that it has something in there for you!
I know we are supposed to study our Bibles daily. But I just cannot seem to stick to that. I've tried the reading plans and lots of other gimmicks, but nothing works. How do you develop that discipline in your life?
Terry B. - Prosper, TX
Dear Terry,
You won't develop the discipline until you develop the value proposition. In other words, you have to want to read you Bible. And you won't want to read it until you come to the belief that there is something of value in there for you.
So how do you come to that sort of belief? I started with a good daily devotional. I particularly like Oswald Chambers or A.W. Tozer (authors) devotionals. Pick them up at your local Christian book store or search for their daily devotionals at any on-line book store. Then commit to reading just one page per day. Get an ink pen when you read that page - and look for something to underline that speaks to you, represents your thinking, challenges you, etc. My guess is you'll find something to underline every single day. (I did.)
After a year or so of using daily devotionals, I was really into that and kind of disappointed when I finished the one I was using. By then it was a daily habit, so I moved up to my Bible. Commit to reading just one chapter a day, in anything that you'll read. (Proverbs is an easy place to start.) Again, get an ink pen and look for something to underline each day that speaks to you, challenges you, comforts or encourages you, etc. Again, my guess is you'll find something every day.
Why the underlining? Because what we're looking for and marking are the value propositions. As you learn how and make a habit of finding them, you will find the desire to read your Bible daily will grow. Eventually, with enough value propositions, you'll feel as if you're missing out when you don't read you Bible. That's because you'll know deep inside that it has something in there for you!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Prioritizing Life
Dear Victorious,
I have never been diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder), but I seem to constantly be challenged by distractions and never able to accomplish what I need to accomplish. Is it possible that this could be a problem with spiritual roots?
Reggie A. - Hartford, CT
Dear Reggie,
Of course it could have spiritual roots. There are two places to look for them.
First, are you truly seeking God's will for your life on a day-to-day basis? Are you looking for God's will and then trying to follow it as you make plans, make decisions and respond to opportunities? (If you are, then you're not responsible for the results - only your obedience.)
Second, are you conscious of the ongoing battle between the urgent and the important. What's important will always be challenged by what's urgent, what's interesting, etc. So it's a conflict that you have to be intentional about managing. If you aren't conscious of the conflict, or aren't intentionally managing it, then the urgent always wins.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God. Seek Him first. Give Him first priority in all your ways. And then be on the lookout for the urgent and the interesting to try and sidetrack you. (They always will.)
I have never been diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder), but I seem to constantly be challenged by distractions and never able to accomplish what I need to accomplish. Is it possible that this could be a problem with spiritual roots?
Reggie A. - Hartford, CT
Dear Reggie,
Of course it could have spiritual roots. There are two places to look for them.
First, are you truly seeking God's will for your life on a day-to-day basis? Are you looking for God's will and then trying to follow it as you make plans, make decisions and respond to opportunities? (If you are, then you're not responsible for the results - only your obedience.)
Second, are you conscious of the ongoing battle between the urgent and the important. What's important will always be challenged by what's urgent, what's interesting, etc. So it's a conflict that you have to be intentional about managing. If you aren't conscious of the conflict, or aren't intentionally managing it, then the urgent always wins.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God. Seek Him first. Give Him first priority in all your ways. And then be on the lookout for the urgent and the interesting to try and sidetrack you. (They always will.)
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Women Preachers
Dear Victorious,
I've also understood that it is wrong for women to teach or be in authority over men. But more and more we see women pastors and women on TV preaching. Is it wrong?
Wilbur M. - Belmont, OH
Dear Wilbur,
Don't get confused here. There are two distinct Biblical truths at play here.
First, women are not to run the church. God established an order for church governance. Men are to lead the churches and women are to be submitted to them.
Second, women can definitely preach. There were always female prophets even in the Old Testament. Acts 2:17 (in the New Testament) tells us that, "In the last days, God says, I will pour out my spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy ..." We are living in the last days.
So the only question I have when I see women preaching is whether or not they are doing so under the authority of at least one man in a role of spiritual authority over them. If they are, it is indeed quite Biblical.
I've also understood that it is wrong for women to teach or be in authority over men. But more and more we see women pastors and women on TV preaching. Is it wrong?
Wilbur M. - Belmont, OH
Dear Wilbur,
Don't get confused here. There are two distinct Biblical truths at play here.
First, women are not to run the church. God established an order for church governance. Men are to lead the churches and women are to be submitted to them.
Second, women can definitely preach. There were always female prophets even in the Old Testament. Acts 2:17 (in the New Testament) tells us that, "In the last days, God says, I will pour out my spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy ..." We are living in the last days.
So the only question I have when I see women preaching is whether or not they are doing so under the authority of at least one man in a role of spiritual authority over them. If they are, it is indeed quite Biblical.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Christian Halloween
Dear Victorious,
Is it okay for Christians to celebrate Halloween?
Tammy F. - Cape Girardeau, MO
Dear Tammy,
The simple answer is no. But I suppose the more socially acceptable answer is found in what you're actually celebrating. The Bible is clear that we are not to be entertained by things of the underworld (evil). So it is troubling to see skeletons becoming fashion statements in our modern culture. But having a fall festival, carving a pumpkin, playing some games, dressing up in fun costumes, etc. is probably okay. As a Christian, I would just watch the costumes and decorations to make sure that we're not "entertaining ourselves (or others) with evil." No skeletons. No ghastly or truly frightening displays. Philippians 4:8 says we are to focus on things that are "excellent and worthy of praise." If your Halloween decorations, costumes and games can meet that criteria, then I would say it's okay. But be careful. It's an easy line to cross.
Is it okay for Christians to celebrate Halloween?
Tammy F. - Cape Girardeau, MO
Dear Tammy,
The simple answer is no. But I suppose the more socially acceptable answer is found in what you're actually celebrating. The Bible is clear that we are not to be entertained by things of the underworld (evil). So it is troubling to see skeletons becoming fashion statements in our modern culture. But having a fall festival, carving a pumpkin, playing some games, dressing up in fun costumes, etc. is probably okay. As a Christian, I would just watch the costumes and decorations to make sure that we're not "entertaining ourselves (or others) with evil." No skeletons. No ghastly or truly frightening displays. Philippians 4:8 says we are to focus on things that are "excellent and worthy of praise." If your Halloween decorations, costumes and games can meet that criteria, then I would say it's okay. But be careful. It's an easy line to cross.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Social Networks
Dear Victorious,
What do you think of social networks like MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and others? Are they Biblical? Do they have a respectable role to play in the life of a Christ-follower?
Martin B. - Lufkin, TX
Dear Martin,
I suspect the story on social networks isn't anywhere near to being complete yet. They are still a work in progress, and the true value proposition is not yet discovered and/or not yet complete. My guess is that the vast majority of people who have signed up for Facebook, for example, did not do so because they saw a clear value proposition that lined up with Scripture. Instead, they signed up because of peer pressure, curiosity or some other motive.
I concede it is possible to use social networks to help us stay in touch with each other. But when it comes to relationships, that is not the mandate we were given by God. Texting something from my cell phone to Facebook so that 200 people can read it and know what I'm doing is NOT loving one another as you would like to be loved (as the Bible commands). So there is a very real and present danger that we fall to social networks in the place of truly loving relationships. And let's face it, most of us don't have the capacity to sustain meaningful, loving relationships with 200 people! So to say that we have 200 friends is probably a strong case of denial on our part.
I'm on the social networks myself. But I have to say that people will know me better by reading my blog(s) or e-mailing with me. And the people whom I most love are not the people I network with on social networks. Rather they are the people whom I make time to invest myself in.
If the social networks ever empower me to make time to invest myself in individuals whom God calls me to love - then I suspect they will be entirely Biblical. Until then, not so much.
What do you think of social networks like MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and others? Are they Biblical? Do they have a respectable role to play in the life of a Christ-follower?
Martin B. - Lufkin, TX
Dear Martin,
I suspect the story on social networks isn't anywhere near to being complete yet. They are still a work in progress, and the true value proposition is not yet discovered and/or not yet complete. My guess is that the vast majority of people who have signed up for Facebook, for example, did not do so because they saw a clear value proposition that lined up with Scripture. Instead, they signed up because of peer pressure, curiosity or some other motive.
I concede it is possible to use social networks to help us stay in touch with each other. But when it comes to relationships, that is not the mandate we were given by God. Texting something from my cell phone to Facebook so that 200 people can read it and know what I'm doing is NOT loving one another as you would like to be loved (as the Bible commands). So there is a very real and present danger that we fall to social networks in the place of truly loving relationships. And let's face it, most of us don't have the capacity to sustain meaningful, loving relationships with 200 people! So to say that we have 200 friends is probably a strong case of denial on our part.
I'm on the social networks myself. But I have to say that people will know me better by reading my blog(s) or e-mailing with me. And the people whom I most love are not the people I network with on social networks. Rather they are the people whom I make time to invest myself in.
If the social networks ever empower me to make time to invest myself in individuals whom God calls me to love - then I suspect they will be entirely Biblical. Until then, not so much.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Church Selection
Dear Victorious,
We're church shopping right now, and it seems that there are a variety of churches to pick from. I'm wondering what you would consider to be the right criteria for picking a church.
Dora C. - Longmont, CO
Dear Dora,
Why is it that you are church shopping? Did you find unresolved heresy in your existing church? Did God tell you to leave your existing church? Aside from moving to a new area or having your existing church go out of business, those are about the only good reasons I can think of for going church shopping. I'm not trying to be nasty here, but the truth is that people often move churches for poor reasons. So if you're church shopping, it is important to understand what godly purpose there be for you to be in the market for a new church. (Of course if there is no God-honoring reason then you should stay at your existing church.)
Often when Americans go looking for new church they base most of their decision on two questions: (1) What does this church have to offer me? (2) What are the differences in this church's beliefs? As you might imagine, I don't think either one of these questions establishes good criteria for picking a home church. The thing is that there are no perfect churches, so whatever you think this church has to offer - it will disappoint you somewhere along the line. And because there are no perfect churches - there will always be conflict or differences that you won't like.
When searching for a new church, the first thing to consider is God's will for you. "Lord, which church do You have in mind for us? Would You lead us to it, and help us to know that You have?" Secondly, I would look for what you can offer this church? Is this a church that has apparent needs which you are gifted to fill? In other words, what can you offer this church that might make it a more complete church community?
It is always important to check the basic doctrine of the church to be sure they're not preaching heresy or perverting Biblical truth. Basically any church that puts Jesus Christ first and believes that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God Himself is going to be a good fit regarding doctrine. And there are a lot of churches in several denominations that would qualify.
So my advice? Establish the basic doctrine issue. Then seek God's will. Finally, look for places where you can serve and contribute. I believe these are the three most important criteria in selecting a new church.
We're church shopping right now, and it seems that there are a variety of churches to pick from. I'm wondering what you would consider to be the right criteria for picking a church.
Dora C. - Longmont, CO
Dear Dora,
Why is it that you are church shopping? Did you find unresolved heresy in your existing church? Did God tell you to leave your existing church? Aside from moving to a new area or having your existing church go out of business, those are about the only good reasons I can think of for going church shopping. I'm not trying to be nasty here, but the truth is that people often move churches for poor reasons. So if you're church shopping, it is important to understand what godly purpose there be for you to be in the market for a new church. (Of course if there is no God-honoring reason then you should stay at your existing church.)
Often when Americans go looking for new church they base most of their decision on two questions: (1) What does this church have to offer me? (2) What are the differences in this church's beliefs? As you might imagine, I don't think either one of these questions establishes good criteria for picking a home church. The thing is that there are no perfect churches, so whatever you think this church has to offer - it will disappoint you somewhere along the line. And because there are no perfect churches - there will always be conflict or differences that you won't like.
When searching for a new church, the first thing to consider is God's will for you. "Lord, which church do You have in mind for us? Would You lead us to it, and help us to know that You have?" Secondly, I would look for what you can offer this church? Is this a church that has apparent needs which you are gifted to fill? In other words, what can you offer this church that might make it a more complete church community?
It is always important to check the basic doctrine of the church to be sure they're not preaching heresy or perverting Biblical truth. Basically any church that puts Jesus Christ first and believes that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God Himself is going to be a good fit regarding doctrine. And there are a lot of churches in several denominations that would qualify.
So my advice? Establish the basic doctrine issue. Then seek God's will. Finally, look for places where you can serve and contribute. I believe these are the three most important criteria in selecting a new church.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Greatest Advice
Dear Victorious,
Of all the things that Christians are supposed to do or not do, what do you think is the single most important?
Harley B. - Lufkin, TX
Dear Harley,
That's an easy one for me. Psalm 46:16 says, "Be still, and know that I am God." So the most sage advice I could give any Christian would be simply to be still and know that He is God. Being still before the Lord - in prayer, in His Word, in waiting, in mediation - are all excellent ways for us to truly know the Lord. In my own personal experience, they are also the most fruitful.
Of all the things that Christians are supposed to do or not do, what do you think is the single most important?
Harley B. - Lufkin, TX
Dear Harley,
That's an easy one for me. Psalm 46:16 says, "Be still, and know that I am God." So the most sage advice I could give any Christian would be simply to be still and know that He is God. Being still before the Lord - in prayer, in His Word, in waiting, in mediation - are all excellent ways for us to truly know the Lord. In my own personal experience, they are also the most fruitful.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Unequally Yoked
Dear Victorious,
The Bible teaches about not being unequally yoked, referring to marriage (but it also applies to business, etc). How about dating? I started dating (only three dates so far) this girl before I knew about her beliefs, and it turns out that she is not Christian (she was raised Buddhist, although she doesn't really practice it).
I believe God would want me to be a witness to nonbelievers, but at the same time I don't know if I should end the relationship before we get more involved in it. I've heard about the term "mission dating", but I'm not sure that's what I want to do. I have been praying and I know in the end God will work it out one way or another (whether the relationship works out or not), but right now I am very confused as to what to do.
Pedro B. - Dallas, TX
Dear Pedro,
The Bible is clear on this subject. We are not to be unequally yoked in marriage, business or any other way with people who don't share our core values and beliefs. If you want to see how serious God takes this issue, look at the Old Testament and see His reaction when the Israelites married those of other religions and beliefs.
So if you are a Christ-follower, there is no room for you to even date someone of a different core faith. Being friends with someone and witnessing to them is not the same thing as developing emotional (or physical) intimacy with them. And there is no such thing as mission dating. In fact, that would be insincere, fraudulent and phony --- not much of a testimony at all!
My advice? Be honest with this girl. Tell her you're committed to Christ and really cannot see yourself in a serious relationship with someone who is not. Tell her about the love of Christ and why you're so committed to Him. If she's open to it, invite her to church. Invite her to explore Christ for herself. And be there for her if she wants to investigate. But draw a clear boundary in your relationship so there's no confusion. No more dating.
Finally, if you'll be true to your own beliefs, God will reward your obedience in this area. You want to be united in marriage to someone who is submitted to and worshipping the same God you are. (He is, after all, the ONLY true God.)
The Bible teaches about not being unequally yoked, referring to marriage (but it also applies to business, etc). How about dating? I started dating (only three dates so far) this girl before I knew about her beliefs, and it turns out that she is not Christian (she was raised Buddhist, although she doesn't really practice it).
I believe God would want me to be a witness to nonbelievers, but at the same time I don't know if I should end the relationship before we get more involved in it. I've heard about the term "mission dating", but I'm not sure that's what I want to do. I have been praying and I know in the end God will work it out one way or another (whether the relationship works out or not), but right now I am very confused as to what to do.
Pedro B. - Dallas, TX
Dear Pedro,
The Bible is clear on this subject. We are not to be unequally yoked in marriage, business or any other way with people who don't share our core values and beliefs. If you want to see how serious God takes this issue, look at the Old Testament and see His reaction when the Israelites married those of other religions and beliefs.
So if you are a Christ-follower, there is no room for you to even date someone of a different core faith. Being friends with someone and witnessing to them is not the same thing as developing emotional (or physical) intimacy with them. And there is no such thing as mission dating. In fact, that would be insincere, fraudulent and phony --- not much of a testimony at all!
My advice? Be honest with this girl. Tell her you're committed to Christ and really cannot see yourself in a serious relationship with someone who is not. Tell her about the love of Christ and why you're so committed to Him. If she's open to it, invite her to church. Invite her to explore Christ for herself. And be there for her if she wants to investigate. But draw a clear boundary in your relationship so there's no confusion. No more dating.
Finally, if you'll be true to your own beliefs, God will reward your obedience in this area. You want to be united in marriage to someone who is submitted to and worshipping the same God you are. (He is, after all, the ONLY true God.)
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Drifting Friendships
Dear Victorious,
If friends drift away from each other over the years, what do you think it means? I have a friend whom I dearly love. I thought that she loved me the same. But over the years we seem to have drifted apart. I have searched myself and can't find anything I've done wrong that would cause her to love me less. So all I can conclude is that she never really loved me in the first place.
Sally B. - Colleyville, TX
Dear Sally,
I think it means they are human. The fact that your friend once loved you and that the two of you are no longer close doesn't mean that she no longer loves you. The problem is that you're making this all about you. And you're doing it to the exclusion of other people in your lives.
The Bible tells us that nothing in our lives is a coincidence. Predestination is certain and final. God knew and planned every aspect of our lives. So the people that come in and out of our lives do so as a result of God's planning.
Who else has God put in your friend's life that may need her love and support? Is it possible that they now need it more than you do? Have you perhaps grown enough that you can be more supportive to others and are not as needy of this friendship as you once were? Are there new people that God has placed in your life (or given you access to) whom you might be overlooking as you mourn the loss?
True Christ-followers know that the intensity of relationships comes and goes. But love endures all - including separation and time. There are people I love very much whom I don't get to see very often. But that doesn't change my love for them. I still pray for them, wish the best for them, and would be there if they needed me. I suggest you position yourself similarly with old friends. And then spend your time today on the people whom you are in touch with.
If friends drift away from each other over the years, what do you think it means? I have a friend whom I dearly love. I thought that she loved me the same. But over the years we seem to have drifted apart. I have searched myself and can't find anything I've done wrong that would cause her to love me less. So all I can conclude is that she never really loved me in the first place.
Sally B. - Colleyville, TX
Dear Sally,
I think it means they are human. The fact that your friend once loved you and that the two of you are no longer close doesn't mean that she no longer loves you. The problem is that you're making this all about you. And you're doing it to the exclusion of other people in your lives.
The Bible tells us that nothing in our lives is a coincidence. Predestination is certain and final. God knew and planned every aspect of our lives. So the people that come in and out of our lives do so as a result of God's planning.
Who else has God put in your friend's life that may need her love and support? Is it possible that they now need it more than you do? Have you perhaps grown enough that you can be more supportive to others and are not as needy of this friendship as you once were? Are there new people that God has placed in your life (or given you access to) whom you might be overlooking as you mourn the loss?
True Christ-followers know that the intensity of relationships comes and goes. But love endures all - including separation and time. There are people I love very much whom I don't get to see very often. But that doesn't change my love for them. I still pray for them, wish the best for them, and would be there if they needed me. I suggest you position yourself similarly with old friends. And then spend your time today on the people whom you are in touch with.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Resolving Conflict
Dear Victorious,
What would you say are the most important things to remember about conflict? It seems that, as a Christian, I often find myself in some sort of conflict with others who purport to be Christians. What should I be focusing on in those situations?
Darrell V. - Petaluma, CA
Dear Darrell,
As a Christian, your singular focus should be on God's will. So if you find yourself in any type of conflict for any reason, turn to God in prayer and ask how He would like you to handle it. And be committed to handling it however He tells you to. It's as simple as that.
There are several other things you could know about conflict, but if you're looking for the most important, this would be it.
What would you say are the most important things to remember about conflict? It seems that, as a Christian, I often find myself in some sort of conflict with others who purport to be Christians. What should I be focusing on in those situations?
Darrell V. - Petaluma, CA
Dear Darrell,
As a Christian, your singular focus should be on God's will. So if you find yourself in any type of conflict for any reason, turn to God in prayer and ask how He would like you to handle it. And be committed to handling it however He tells you to. It's as simple as that.
There are several other things you could know about conflict, but if you're looking for the most important, this would be it.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Divine Healing
Dear Victorious,
I have a friend who used to struggle with addiction and she says that God miraculously freed her from that addiction. I find this highly unbelievable. Do you think God really delivers people in such a way from common 'struggles of the flesh?'
Marsha H. - Sherwood, AR
Dear Marsha,
Yes, I believe that God can and does deliver people wholly and completely from the addiction of bondage or other afflictions of the flesh. As a realist, I'm also aware that this may not be the experience of most people. For many us, freedom from the bondage of sins of the flesh is a journey to be walked out as we grow in our relationship with Christ. The more I surrender to Him, the more He delivers me. For some of us that could take a lifetime. For some of us that could happen in one day.
The thing is that we cannot base our belief on what God can and cannot do, or will and won't do based on the experiences of individuals or even the experiences of most. We must base our beliefs and expectations on the truth of God's Word. God's promises are real and tangible. If He is not meeting our expectations when they are based on His truth, then the most likely culprit is our own faith, obedience or trust in Him.
I have a friend who used to struggle with addiction and she says that God miraculously freed her from that addiction. I find this highly unbelievable. Do you think God really delivers people in such a way from common 'struggles of the flesh?'
Marsha H. - Sherwood, AR
Dear Marsha,
Yes, I believe that God can and does deliver people wholly and completely from the addiction of bondage or other afflictions of the flesh. As a realist, I'm also aware that this may not be the experience of most people. For many us, freedom from the bondage of sins of the flesh is a journey to be walked out as we grow in our relationship with Christ. The more I surrender to Him, the more He delivers me. For some of us that could take a lifetime. For some of us that could happen in one day.
The thing is that we cannot base our belief on what God can and cannot do, or will and won't do based on the experiences of individuals or even the experiences of most. We must base our beliefs and expectations on the truth of God's Word. God's promises are real and tangible. If He is not meeting our expectations when they are based on His truth, then the most likely culprit is our own faith, obedience or trust in Him.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Rich Christians
Dear Victorious,
It seems that there are many rich people who proclaim to be Christians. Yet Jesus said it would be easier for a camel to get though the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into heaven. Aren't these wealthy Christians really just deceiving themselves?
Arnold M. - Baton Rouge, LA
Dear Arnold,
It may be that some self-professed Christians are deceiving themselves about their identity. But I doubt seriously that it would be all rich people who fall into this category. While the Bible is clear that wealth is not necessarily a sign of God's favor and approval - it is equally clear that the righteous can expect to be blessed. It also gives us many examples of the fact that God's blessings can be in the form of material wealth.
I think there may be a tendency on the part of many Christians to assume that wealth is evil. The Bible says that money is the root of evil - but it in itself is not evil. We cannot equate wealth with evil. Nor can we equate poverty with righteousness.
It seems that there are many rich people who proclaim to be Christians. Yet Jesus said it would be easier for a camel to get though the eye of a needle than for a rich person to get into heaven. Aren't these wealthy Christians really just deceiving themselves?
Arnold M. - Baton Rouge, LA
Dear Arnold,
It may be that some self-professed Christians are deceiving themselves about their identity. But I doubt seriously that it would be all rich people who fall into this category. While the Bible is clear that wealth is not necessarily a sign of God's favor and approval - it is equally clear that the righteous can expect to be blessed. It also gives us many examples of the fact that God's blessings can be in the form of material wealth.
I think there may be a tendency on the part of many Christians to assume that wealth is evil. The Bible says that money is the root of evil - but it in itself is not evil. We cannot equate wealth with evil. Nor can we equate poverty with righteousness.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Going Green
Dear Victorious,
Do Christians have to go green? Our pastor is preaching about going green in our church. He wants everyone to agree to buy hybrid cars, solar power, recycled products, etc. It feels like he is being too pushy about this. Is there anything in the Bible that says we should?
David R. - Norman, OK
Dear David,
No, there is nothing specific in the Bible about being "earth friendly." However, we are admonished in the Bible not to take anything for granted, to be good stewards of what we're given, etc. So it does seem that it would be a good idea for Christians to be good stewards ... and responsible consumers ... of the earth's resources.
Having said that though, I notice that God is not hesitant to totally obliterate resources in going about His business. Consider the resources that He squanders with destructive storms and other natural disasters. God knows that the earth, and everything on it, will one day pass away. So it is far more important that we value God and His people than we do the earth and its resources.
Do Christians have to go green? Our pastor is preaching about going green in our church. He wants everyone to agree to buy hybrid cars, solar power, recycled products, etc. It feels like he is being too pushy about this. Is there anything in the Bible that says we should?
David R. - Norman, OK
Dear David,
No, there is nothing specific in the Bible about being "earth friendly." However, we are admonished in the Bible not to take anything for granted, to be good stewards of what we're given, etc. So it does seem that it would be a good idea for Christians to be good stewards ... and responsible consumers ... of the earth's resources.
Having said that though, I notice that God is not hesitant to totally obliterate resources in going about His business. Consider the resources that He squanders with destructive storms and other natural disasters. God knows that the earth, and everything on it, will one day pass away. So it is far more important that we value God and His people than we do the earth and its resources.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Grandma's Gifts
Dear Victorious,
My mother is always buying inappropriate gifts for our children. I have asked her nicely to stop, but she insists that she "is entitled" to some simple pleasures, such as buying whatever she wants for her grandchildren. What can we do?
Arlene A. - El Paso, TX
Dear Arlene,
What you can do is diplomatically, but firmly, draw better boundaries with your mother --- and then enforce them consistently. You need to be sure you've been clear with your mother about what appropriate gifts would be welcome. Give her lists of things that would please your children and be acceptable to you. Keep those lists updated. Then be diligent about refusing or returning items that aren't on the list. Stand your ground on this one. You may have to offend your mother to get through this. Simply put, she is not entitled to do anything with your children. She is obligated to show you respect as their mother. Feel free to make her aware of that fact. And then tell her what you intend to do with the inappropriate gifts if they keep coming.
My mother is always buying inappropriate gifts for our children. I have asked her nicely to stop, but she insists that she "is entitled" to some simple pleasures, such as buying whatever she wants for her grandchildren. What can we do?
Arlene A. - El Paso, TX
Dear Arlene,
What you can do is diplomatically, but firmly, draw better boundaries with your mother --- and then enforce them consistently. You need to be sure you've been clear with your mother about what appropriate gifts would be welcome. Give her lists of things that would please your children and be acceptable to you. Keep those lists updated. Then be diligent about refusing or returning items that aren't on the list. Stand your ground on this one. You may have to offend your mother to get through this. Simply put, she is not entitled to do anything with your children. She is obligated to show you respect as their mother. Feel free to make her aware of that fact. And then tell her what you intend to do with the inappropriate gifts if they keep coming.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Masturbation
Dear Victorious,
Is masturbation ever appropriate for a Christian? I mean, what about people who aren't married, or who have health problems? Wouldn't it be okay for them to masturbate?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
No, I don't believe it would. Regardless of the circumstances, masturbation is selfish. I don't know how anyone could take the selfishness out of it.
Is masturbation ever appropriate for a Christian? I mean, what about people who aren't married, or who have health problems? Wouldn't it be okay for them to masturbate?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
No, I don't believe it would. Regardless of the circumstances, masturbation is selfish. I don't know how anyone could take the selfishness out of it.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Contemporary Worship
Dear Victorious,
Is there a point at which contemporary worship becomes inappropriate? It seems that our churhc stretches the limits sometimes and I'm wondering where we draw the boundaries.
Evelyn N. - Chattanooga, TN
Dear Evelyn,
Yes, I think there is a point where any kind of worship music becomes inappropriate. We reach that point when the music itself, or the style of music becomes the focus. Worship is about God. If it becomes about anything else, we have missed the point and strayed into darkness.
Hillsongs Church put out a song years ago called "Heart of Worship." It had lyrics which said, "I'm sorry for the thing I've made it ... when it's all about You (Jesus)." This is what they were talking about. If the form of worship is so distracting that you cannot focus on God Himself, then the worship is wrong.
Is there a point at which contemporary worship becomes inappropriate? It seems that our churhc stretches the limits sometimes and I'm wondering where we draw the boundaries.
Evelyn N. - Chattanooga, TN
Dear Evelyn,
Yes, I think there is a point where any kind of worship music becomes inappropriate. We reach that point when the music itself, or the style of music becomes the focus. Worship is about God. If it becomes about anything else, we have missed the point and strayed into darkness.
Hillsongs Church put out a song years ago called "Heart of Worship." It had lyrics which said, "I'm sorry for the thing I've made it ... when it's all about You (Jesus)." This is what they were talking about. If the form of worship is so distracting that you cannot focus on God Himself, then the worship is wrong.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Model Marriages
Dear Victorious,
Do you look to your parents or grandparents to see a model for your present marriage? A friend of mine has suggested that "all of us" do that, even if subconsciously. What do you think?
Edwin T. - Bozeman, MT
Dear Edwin,
No, I don't think I could agree with your friend. I know plenty of people who would never want the marriage their parents or grandparents had. I am among them too. Years ago my wife and I had a conversation about such "model marriages." We went through all of the people we knew, looking for a marriage that we would want. Of the people whom we knew at the time, we found none - not even one. I'm glad to say that over the years we have developed many friendships with people whose marriages we consider to be similar to our own ... the kind of marriage we value and cherish.
I believe you would do well to look for people who have the kind of marriage you want --- and then get close to them. In the meantime, look at God's standards for a marriage and see what you can do by yourself to contribute toward bringing your own marriage up to that standard.
Do you look to your parents or grandparents to see a model for your present marriage? A friend of mine has suggested that "all of us" do that, even if subconsciously. What do you think?
Edwin T. - Bozeman, MT
Dear Edwin,
No, I don't think I could agree with your friend. I know plenty of people who would never want the marriage their parents or grandparents had. I am among them too. Years ago my wife and I had a conversation about such "model marriages." We went through all of the people we knew, looking for a marriage that we would want. Of the people whom we knew at the time, we found none - not even one. I'm glad to say that over the years we have developed many friendships with people whose marriages we consider to be similar to our own ... the kind of marriage we value and cherish.
I believe you would do well to look for people who have the kind of marriage you want --- and then get close to them. In the meantime, look at God's standards for a marriage and see what you can do by yourself to contribute toward bringing your own marriage up to that standard.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Obama's Nobel Prize
Dear Victorious,
What do you think of President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize? What do you think he should do about it?
Maureen O. - Charleston, ME
Dear Maureen,
I don't think he is deserving (yet) of such an honor. I suspect it was given for something other than his accomplishments. What do I think he should do about it? I think he should have stated on the first day that he would decline the honor ... at least for now. I think he should ask the people who make such awards to bestow it upon someone else who has actually accomplished something. So far, all he has accomplished is wealth and popularity (in that order). I don't believe that is sufficient criteria for a Nobel Peace Prize.
What do you think of President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize? What do you think he should do about it?
Maureen O. - Charleston, ME
Dear Maureen,
I don't think he is deserving (yet) of such an honor. I suspect it was given for something other than his accomplishments. What do I think he should do about it? I think he should have stated on the first day that he would decline the honor ... at least for now. I think he should ask the people who make such awards to bestow it upon someone else who has actually accomplished something. So far, all he has accomplished is wealth and popularity (in that order). I don't believe that is sufficient criteria for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Monday, October 12, 2009
God's Punishment
Dear Victorious,
Do you think that the present economic crisis is God's punishment for America's sins?
Heather V. - Jackson, MI
Dear Heather,
The truth is that I don't know. But ... I know the character and nature of God. I can look at Biblical history and see that He does provide such punishments. So the important point is that I don't need to know whether or not any of the suffering in our country is punishment for our sins. I can look at our sinful ways and know that we deserve such a punishment. That is enough to cause me to repent on behalf of my nation (and I have). I can only pray that the rest of us in this country would repent of our sinful ways and seek His face, and seek His will.
Do you think that the present economic crisis is God's punishment for America's sins?
Heather V. - Jackson, MI
Dear Heather,
The truth is that I don't know. But ... I know the character and nature of God. I can look at Biblical history and see that He does provide such punishments. So the important point is that I don't need to know whether or not any of the suffering in our country is punishment for our sins. I can look at our sinful ways and know that we deserve such a punishment. That is enough to cause me to repent on behalf of my nation (and I have). I can only pray that the rest of us in this country would repent of our sinful ways and seek His face, and seek His will.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Christian Drinking
Dear Victorious,
Is it okay for Christians to drink alcohol? I am an adult, but my parents never drank and they seem to be judging my wife and I for occasionally enjoying a glass of wine or a cold beer.
Harvey T. - Frederick, MD
Dear Harvey,
It depends. While there is no Biblical prohibition against drinking alcohol, there is clear mandate not to drink to excess or abuse alcohol. Additionally, there is a general mandate for us not to offend, mislead or discourage others with any of our actions or choices. So even though it is not unbiblical to drink alcohol, to do so in the presence of someone who finds it offensive would be wrong. You should refrain from even moderate drinking when in the presence of your parents. And your reason for doing so is because you love and respect them enough to make such a sacrifice.
Is it okay for Christians to drink alcohol? I am an adult, but my parents never drank and they seem to be judging my wife and I for occasionally enjoying a glass of wine or a cold beer.
Harvey T. - Frederick, MD
Dear Harvey,
It depends. While there is no Biblical prohibition against drinking alcohol, there is clear mandate not to drink to excess or abuse alcohol. Additionally, there is a general mandate for us not to offend, mislead or discourage others with any of our actions or choices. So even though it is not unbiblical to drink alcohol, to do so in the presence of someone who finds it offensive would be wrong. You should refrain from even moderate drinking when in the presence of your parents. And your reason for doing so is because you love and respect them enough to make such a sacrifice.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Greatest Christian
Dear Victorious,
Of the celebrity Christians, who do you think, in our lifetime, has done the best at living for Christ?
Donnie M. - Parker, CO
Dear Donnie,
Well I can think of several that I admire. But I suppose the one I most admire has been Mother Theresa, who lived and died in Calcutta, India. While I disagree with many (of her) Catholic beliefs, I find her sacrifice the most Christ-like of anyone. Surely she could have lived much better than she did. Her sacrifice made her a most credible witness for the world. There are many great preachers, teachers and singers. But there seem to be few among us who are great sacrificers (if there is such a word)!
Of the celebrity Christians, who do you think, in our lifetime, has done the best at living for Christ?
Donnie M. - Parker, CO
Dear Donnie,
Well I can think of several that I admire. But I suppose the one I most admire has been Mother Theresa, who lived and died in Calcutta, India. While I disagree with many (of her) Catholic beliefs, I find her sacrifice the most Christ-like of anyone. Surely she could have lived much better than she did. Her sacrifice made her a most credible witness for the world. There are many great preachers, teachers and singers. But there seem to be few among us who are great sacrificers (if there is such a word)!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Letter A Day?
Dear Victorious,
You used to post a letter each day. Lately it seems you've slacked off. What gives?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous -
What gives is that the volume of letters I receive has slacked off. It's that simple.
I originally started this blog because people were e-mailing me in response to my main blog (victoriousconqueror.blogspot.com). When I was receiving more than a letter each day, I decided to limit the responses to one each day. Now that the volume has slacked off, I'll continue answering what I can. But if the requests stop coming in, I'll have to discontinue this Q&A blog altogether. (I am not smart enough to make this stuff up!) So we'll see what happens with the questions coming in.
You used to post a letter each day. Lately it seems you've slacked off. What gives?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous -
What gives is that the volume of letters I receive has slacked off. It's that simple.
I originally started this blog because people were e-mailing me in response to my main blog (victoriousconqueror.blogspot.com). When I was receiving more than a letter each day, I decided to limit the responses to one each day. Now that the volume has slacked off, I'll continue answering what I can. But if the requests stop coming in, I'll have to discontinue this Q&A blog altogether. (I am not smart enough to make this stuff up!) So we'll see what happens with the questions coming in.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Common Sin
Dear Victorious,
What do you think is the most common sin of people in America who profess to be Christians?
Drew T. - Los Rios, NM
Dear Drew,
I believe there are three most common sins amongst the self-professing Christians in modern American culture.
The first ... and the clear winner ... would be in not putting God first in our lives. Too many people identify themselves as Christians - yet fail miserably at living up to the New Testament standards for Christians. They aren't committed to a local church, they don't tithe, they worship other gods, etc. We are way too distracted by materialism, sports, hobbies, sexuality, entertainment or even gossip --- to have God playing first place in our lives. Most Christians in America spend far more time and money on their entertainment than they do on their God --- which automatically places entertainment above God.
The second is the sin of not loving others. The Bible clearly commands us to love each other as we would want to be loved. We are told to love our enemies. Men are to love their wives "like Christ loved the church." Simply put, we are failing miserably at this. We may have feelings for others - such as pity. But true love would go much further than feelings. Take men and their wives, for example. We are to love them to such a degree that we would be willing to die for them. But few men are willing to make even modest sacrifices for their wives. Or if they are willing, they do so grudgingly, with resentment and eventual bitterness. Take our enemies, for example. We tend to demonize them and treat them as sinister and deserving of our worst wrath. This is not Christ-like love.
The third is simply lying. Our culture has made lying quite socially acceptable. Consider, for example, the notion of a "white lie," - as if there ever could be such a thing! We've called them that because we seem to believe that some lies are appropriate. So we lie to ourselves. We like to our spouses, our children and parents. We lie to our bosses, our friends, and even to our churches. We lie on applications, in surveys and in lots of other ways. This is not Christ-like behavior.
What do you think is the most common sin of people in America who profess to be Christians?
Drew T. - Los Rios, NM
Dear Drew,
I believe there are three most common sins amongst the self-professing Christians in modern American culture.
The first ... and the clear winner ... would be in not putting God first in our lives. Too many people identify themselves as Christians - yet fail miserably at living up to the New Testament standards for Christians. They aren't committed to a local church, they don't tithe, they worship other gods, etc. We are way too distracted by materialism, sports, hobbies, sexuality, entertainment or even gossip --- to have God playing first place in our lives. Most Christians in America spend far more time and money on their entertainment than they do on their God --- which automatically places entertainment above God.
The second is the sin of not loving others. The Bible clearly commands us to love each other as we would want to be loved. We are told to love our enemies. Men are to love their wives "like Christ loved the church." Simply put, we are failing miserably at this. We may have feelings for others - such as pity. But true love would go much further than feelings. Take men and their wives, for example. We are to love them to such a degree that we would be willing to die for them. But few men are willing to make even modest sacrifices for their wives. Or if they are willing, they do so grudgingly, with resentment and eventual bitterness. Take our enemies, for example. We tend to demonize them and treat them as sinister and deserving of our worst wrath. This is not Christ-like love.
The third is simply lying. Our culture has made lying quite socially acceptable. Consider, for example, the notion of a "white lie," - as if there ever could be such a thing! We've called them that because we seem to believe that some lies are appropriate. So we lie to ourselves. We like to our spouses, our children and parents. We lie to our bosses, our friends, and even to our churches. We lie on applications, in surveys and in lots of other ways. This is not Christ-like behavior.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Christmas Birthday
Dear Victorious,
My sister's birthday is on December 25th. It seems like no matter what we do, it is next to impossible to really make it special for her. She must always celebrate her birthday in the shadow of Christmas. How can we change that for her?
Carmen E. - Katy, TX
Dear Carmen,
Boy, you're asking a difficult question! Typically I try to help answer questions of a Biblical nature on this blog. So I guess the place to start is to look at the spiritual aspects of your question. Some cultures don't celebrate birthdays at all. In those that do, it is important to remember what we're celebrating. It is not the actual day that is being celebrated. Rather it is the individual.
I suspect that when your sister feels badly at Christmas time it is because she does not feel very celebrated. That is probably understandable - as you try to celebrate your sister and Jesus Christ as the precise same time. So this would be the burden of all people born in our culture ... on December 25th. (Someone in a Muslim or Hindu culture, for example, would have no issue with a December 25th birthday.)
So I would look for some ways to do a better job of celebrating your sister and Christ at the same time. This will likely include some special traditions that aren't part of birthday celebrations the rest of the year. For example, instead of a traditional birthday cake, perhaps a Christmas-themed birthday cake could be the centerpiece of the holiday meal. Instead of a traditional Christmas turkey or ham, you could serve as the main dish whatever your sister's favorite meal might be. (Having spaghetti instead of turkey or ham would certainly celebrate your sister!)
I suspect the problem with December 25th birthdays is that we celebrate Christmas in so many ways. And then we say, "Oh yeah, and it's Allison's birthday too." So the birthday girl (or boy) always feels like they're playing second fiddle to Christmas. If you can do a better job of integrating the two celebrations, I suspect you can turn what seems like an unfortunate birth date into a very special birthday, which only gets to be celebrated by an honored few.
My sister's birthday is on December 25th. It seems like no matter what we do, it is next to impossible to really make it special for her. She must always celebrate her birthday in the shadow of Christmas. How can we change that for her?
Carmen E. - Katy, TX
Dear Carmen,
Boy, you're asking a difficult question! Typically I try to help answer questions of a Biblical nature on this blog. So I guess the place to start is to look at the spiritual aspects of your question. Some cultures don't celebrate birthdays at all. In those that do, it is important to remember what we're celebrating. It is not the actual day that is being celebrated. Rather it is the individual.
I suspect that when your sister feels badly at Christmas time it is because she does not feel very celebrated. That is probably understandable - as you try to celebrate your sister and Jesus Christ as the precise same time. So this would be the burden of all people born in our culture ... on December 25th. (Someone in a Muslim or Hindu culture, for example, would have no issue with a December 25th birthday.)
So I would look for some ways to do a better job of celebrating your sister and Christ at the same time. This will likely include some special traditions that aren't part of birthday celebrations the rest of the year. For example, instead of a traditional birthday cake, perhaps a Christmas-themed birthday cake could be the centerpiece of the holiday meal. Instead of a traditional Christmas turkey or ham, you could serve as the main dish whatever your sister's favorite meal might be. (Having spaghetti instead of turkey or ham would certainly celebrate your sister!)
I suspect the problem with December 25th birthdays is that we celebrate Christmas in so many ways. And then we say, "Oh yeah, and it's Allison's birthday too." So the birthday girl (or boy) always feels like they're playing second fiddle to Christmas. If you can do a better job of integrating the two celebrations, I suspect you can turn what seems like an unfortunate birth date into a very special birthday, which only gets to be celebrated by an honored few.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sports Fanatics
Dear Victorious,
Is it okay for Christians to be sports fans? I can't find anything in the Bible that prohibits it. But I also can't find anything in the Bible that endorses it.
Steelers Fan
Dear Steelers Fan,
The simple answer is that it is okay for Christians to enjoy watching or participating in sports. However, as with most things in life, there are a couple of important caveats.
Consider that the term "fan" is short for "fanatic." If you look up the definitions of that word, you'll find it generally seems to indicate someone who is enthusiastic about something (i.e., sports, religion). But it can also mean unbridled, unreasoning or irrational enthusiasm. Of course that would be a line that no Christ-follower should cross.
There are two important Biblical principles to keep in mind when considering sports fanatics. The first is the admonition to "have no other idols." Simply put, God is to be first and foremost in our life. To the extent that sports would usurp that role in our lives ... it would be wrong. The second is the admonition to focus on things that are wholesome and worthwhile (Philippians 4:8). So extreme sports, violent sports or the perversions of sports would of course be wrong.
We are to put God first and we are to live life His way, obeying His commands and keeping His principles in our daily choices. But after that, life is to be enjoyed. So whether you are a fan of sports, the arts, gardening, dance, traveling or other diversions --- it is okay. So make sure God is first and that your relationship with Him is solid. And then enjoy the game!
Is it okay for Christians to be sports fans? I can't find anything in the Bible that prohibits it. But I also can't find anything in the Bible that endorses it.
Steelers Fan
Dear Steelers Fan,
The simple answer is that it is okay for Christians to enjoy watching or participating in sports. However, as with most things in life, there are a couple of important caveats.
Consider that the term "fan" is short for "fanatic." If you look up the definitions of that word, you'll find it generally seems to indicate someone who is enthusiastic about something (i.e., sports, religion). But it can also mean unbridled, unreasoning or irrational enthusiasm. Of course that would be a line that no Christ-follower should cross.
There are two important Biblical principles to keep in mind when considering sports fanatics. The first is the admonition to "have no other idols." Simply put, God is to be first and foremost in our life. To the extent that sports would usurp that role in our lives ... it would be wrong. The second is the admonition to focus on things that are wholesome and worthwhile (Philippians 4:8). So extreme sports, violent sports or the perversions of sports would of course be wrong.
We are to put God first and we are to live life His way, obeying His commands and keeping His principles in our daily choices. But after that, life is to be enjoyed. So whether you are a fan of sports, the arts, gardening, dance, traveling or other diversions --- it is okay. So make sure God is first and that your relationship with Him is solid. And then enjoy the game!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Registered Sex Offenders
Dear Victorious,
I saw an article recently on "America's Outdated Sex Laws." In this story they railed on about how badly America treats registered sex offenders. A few days later I saw an article about Atlanta banishing them to camp in a wooded area. What's your view? Aren't these guys getting what they deserve? I mean, don't we really need to protect our children from these perverts?
Ronnie N. - Salt Lake City, UT
Dear Ronnie,
What's my view? You may not like it. I have had personal experience with several guys who are actually Registered Sex Offenders. I've drawn two conclusions based on those experiences.
First, these people are not who you think. To begin with, they are not all men. There are quite a few women on the RSO web sites. Perhaps more importantly, many of them are not, as you say, perverts. In fact, the ones I've been exposed to have been far from it. They have been just like you and me ... honest men of integrity who did some things they regret. (Frankly, I don't know anyone in life who hasn't!) Of the men I've known personally who had been convicted of sexual offenses and were forced to register as sex offenders --- all but one had not had any physical contact with anyone else. They didn't molest an innocent child. They didn't rape anyone. Quite candidly, the "offenses" that they were convicted of seemed pretty innocuous to me (and I check out their stories to make sure they weren't lying).
Secondly, even if these men (and women) were guilty of real crimes, the punishment does not fit the crime. In fact, it far exceeds it. Consider that someone can be convicted of murder or manslaughter, homicide --- serve their prison time or probation time --- and then enjoy considerably more freedoms than the registered sex offenders. Murderers who have "paid their dues to society" are set free and can live as they choose, where they choose. They have no restrictions. They have no social stigma to deal with. The point is that other people commit considerably more serious offenses and don't suffer nearly as much for it. Why would that be?
In my opinion, our society has largely over reacted to high profile sexual offense cases. In many cases the alleged offender was in fact a victim of sexual abuse themselves. Instead of helping these people heal and become productive citizens --- be brand them a social outcasts and then proceed to treat them with contempt for the rest of their lives. This is clearly wrong. It is definitely now WWJD (What Would Jesus Do).
I read the story about the registered sex offenders in Atlanta who can't find housing that meets the parameters they must live within --- so their probation officers suggested they live in these tents in the woods. It is a national disgrace. I am quite certain God will judge us for this (amongst other things He'll need to judge us for).
I saw an article recently on "America's Outdated Sex Laws." In this story they railed on about how badly America treats registered sex offenders. A few days later I saw an article about Atlanta banishing them to camp in a wooded area. What's your view? Aren't these guys getting what they deserve? I mean, don't we really need to protect our children from these perverts?
Ronnie N. - Salt Lake City, UT
Dear Ronnie,
What's my view? You may not like it. I have had personal experience with several guys who are actually Registered Sex Offenders. I've drawn two conclusions based on those experiences.
First, these people are not who you think. To begin with, they are not all men. There are quite a few women on the RSO web sites. Perhaps more importantly, many of them are not, as you say, perverts. In fact, the ones I've been exposed to have been far from it. They have been just like you and me ... honest men of integrity who did some things they regret. (Frankly, I don't know anyone in life who hasn't!) Of the men I've known personally who had been convicted of sexual offenses and were forced to register as sex offenders --- all but one had not had any physical contact with anyone else. They didn't molest an innocent child. They didn't rape anyone. Quite candidly, the "offenses" that they were convicted of seemed pretty innocuous to me (and I check out their stories to make sure they weren't lying).
Secondly, even if these men (and women) were guilty of real crimes, the punishment does not fit the crime. In fact, it far exceeds it. Consider that someone can be convicted of murder or manslaughter, homicide --- serve their prison time or probation time --- and then enjoy considerably more freedoms than the registered sex offenders. Murderers who have "paid their dues to society" are set free and can live as they choose, where they choose. They have no restrictions. They have no social stigma to deal with. The point is that other people commit considerably more serious offenses and don't suffer nearly as much for it. Why would that be?
In my opinion, our society has largely over reacted to high profile sexual offense cases. In many cases the alleged offender was in fact a victim of sexual abuse themselves. Instead of helping these people heal and become productive citizens --- be brand them a social outcasts and then proceed to treat them with contempt for the rest of their lives. This is clearly wrong. It is definitely now WWJD (What Would Jesus Do).
I read the story about the registered sex offenders in Atlanta who can't find housing that meets the parameters they must live within --- so their probation officers suggested they live in these tents in the woods. It is a national disgrace. I am quite certain God will judge us for this (amongst other things He'll need to judge us for).
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