Christmas Birthday

Dear Victorious,

My sister's birthday is on December 25th. It seems like no matter what we do, it is next to impossible to really make it special for her. She must always celebrate her birthday in the shadow of Christmas. How can we change that for her?

Carmen E. - Katy, TX

Dear Carmen,

Boy, you're asking a difficult question! Typically I try to help answer questions of a Biblical nature on this blog. So I guess the place to start is to look at the spiritual aspects of your question. Some cultures don't celebrate birthdays at all. In those that do, it is important to remember what we're celebrating. It is not the actual day that is being celebrated. Rather it is the individual.

I suspect that when your sister feels badly at Christmas time it is because she does not feel very celebrated. That is probably understandable - as you try to celebrate your sister and Jesus Christ as the precise same time. So this would be the burden of all people born in our culture ... on December 25th. (Someone in a Muslim or Hindu culture, for example, would have no issue with a December 25th birthday.)

So I would look for some ways to do a better job of celebrating your sister and Christ at the same time. This will likely include some special traditions that aren't part of birthday celebrations the rest of the year. For example, instead of a traditional birthday cake, perhaps a Christmas-themed birthday cake could be the centerpiece of the holiday meal. Instead of a traditional Christmas turkey or ham, you could serve as the main dish whatever your sister's favorite meal might be. (Having spaghetti instead of turkey or ham would certainly celebrate your sister!)

I suspect the problem with December 25th birthdays is that we celebrate Christmas in so many ways. And then we say, "Oh yeah, and it's Allison's birthday too." So the birthday girl (or boy) always feels like they're playing second fiddle to Christmas. If you can do a better job of integrating the two celebrations, I suspect you can turn what seems like an unfortunate birth date into a very special birthday, which only gets to be celebrated by an honored few.