Grandma's Gifts

Dear Victorious,

My mother is always buying inappropriate gifts for our children. I have asked her nicely to stop, but she insists that she "is entitled" to some simple pleasures, such as buying whatever she wants for her grandchildren. What can we do?

Arlene A. - El Paso, TX

Dear Arlene,

What you can do is diplomatically, but firmly, draw better boundaries with your mother --- and then enforce them consistently. You need to be sure you've been clear with your mother about what appropriate gifts would be welcome. Give her lists of things that would please your children and be acceptable to you. Keep those lists updated. Then be diligent about refusing or returning items that aren't on the list. Stand your ground on this one. You may have to offend your mother to get through this. Simply put, she is not entitled to do anything with your children. She is obligated to show you respect as their mother. Feel free to make her aware of that fact. And then tell her what you intend to do with the inappropriate gifts if they keep coming.