Model Marriages

Dear Victorious,

Do you look to your parents or grandparents to see a model for your present marriage? A friend of mine has suggested that "all of us" do that, even if subconsciously. What do you think?

Edwin T. - Bozeman, MT

Dear Edwin,

No, I don't think I could agree with your friend. I know plenty of people who would never want the marriage their parents or grandparents had. I am among them too. Years ago my wife and I had a conversation about such "model marriages." We went through all of the people we knew, looking for a marriage that we would want. Of the people whom we knew at the time, we found none - not even one. I'm glad to say that over the years we have developed many friendships with people whose marriages we consider to be similar to our own ... the kind of marriage we value and cherish.

I believe you would do well to look for people who have the kind of marriage you want --- and then get close to them. In the meantime, look at God's standards for a marriage and see what you can do by yourself to contribute toward bringing your own marriage up to that standard.