Unequally Yoked

Dear Victorious,

The Bible teaches about not being unequally yoked, referring to marriage (but it also applies to business, etc). How about dating? I started dating (only three dates so far) this girl before I knew about her beliefs, and it turns out that she is not Christian (she was raised Buddhist, although she doesn't really practice it).

I believe God would want me to be a witness to nonbelievers, but at the same time I don't know if I should end the relationship before we get more involved in it. I've heard about the term "mission dating", but I'm not sure that's what I want to do. I have been praying and I know in the end God will work it out one way or another (whether the relationship works out or not), but right now I am very confused as to what to do.

Pedro B. - Dallas, TX

Dear Pedro,

The Bible is clear on this subject. We are not to be unequally yoked in marriage, business or any other way with people who don't share our core values and beliefs. If you want to see how serious God takes this issue, look at the Old Testament and see His reaction when the Israelites married those of other religions and beliefs.

So if you are a Christ-follower, there is no room for you to even date someone of a different core faith. Being friends with someone and witnessing to them is not the same thing as developing emotional (or physical) intimacy with them. And there is no such thing as mission dating. In fact, that would be insincere, fraudulent and phony --- not much of a testimony at all!

My advice? Be honest with this girl. Tell her you're committed to Christ and really cannot see yourself in a serious relationship with someone who is not. Tell her about the love of Christ and why you're so committed to Him. If she's open to it, invite her to church. Invite her to explore Christ for herself. And be there for her if she wants to investigate. But draw a clear boundary in your relationship so there's no confusion. No more dating.

Finally, if you'll be true to your own beliefs, God will reward your obedience in this area. You want to be united in marriage to someone who is submitted to and worshipping the same God you are. (He is, after all, the ONLY true God.)