Drifting Friendships

Dear Victorious,

If friends drift away from each other over the years, what do you think it means? I have a friend whom I dearly love. I thought that she loved me the same. But over the years we seem to have drifted apart. I have searched myself and can't find anything I've done wrong that would cause her to love me less. So all I can conclude is that she never really loved me in the first place.

Sally B. - Colleyville, TX

Dear Sally,

I think it means they are human. The fact that your friend once loved you and that the two of you are no longer close doesn't mean that she no longer loves you. The problem is that you're making this all about you. And you're doing it to the exclusion of other people in your lives.

The Bible tells us that nothing in our lives is a coincidence. Predestination is certain and final. God knew and planned every aspect of our lives. So the people that come in and out of our lives do so as a result of God's planning.

Who else has God put in your friend's life that may need her love and support? Is it possible that they now need it more than you do? Have you perhaps grown enough that you can be more supportive to others and are not as needy of this friendship as you once were? Are there new people that God has placed in your life (or given you access to) whom you might be overlooking as you mourn the loss?

True Christ-followers know that the intensity of relationships comes and goes. But love endures all - including separation and time. There are people I love very much whom I don't get to see very often. But that doesn't change my love for them. I still pray for them, wish the best for them, and would be there if they needed me. I suggest you position yourself similarly with old friends. And then spend your time today on the people whom you are in touch with.