Angry Wife

Dear Victorious,

I've heard it said that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." That truly describes my wife. She is an angry, bitter woman. Oh sure, she puts on a congenial face to the outside world. Those in our social circle would probably be shocked at the hateful venom that she spews forth on me. Even at church, she plays the part and we are probably seen as the classic, modern Christian family. But inside, she is killing me. We have tried counseling on several occasions, but to no avail. I never scream and yell at her, yet she is constantly doing it to me - even in front of the children. And I never know what will set her off, although it seems that most anything can. I am sad and depressed most of the time. I just want it to stop. What can I do?

Hurting Husband

Dear Hurting,

You don't say where this conflict started. Was your wife an angry, bitter woman when you married her? Has something happened during your marriage that she might be reacting to? Understanding why someone is bitter and angry could take a lifetime. From what you've told me though, the only sensible thing you can do is to draw firm boundaries. You don't have to live in an abusive relationship. And what you are describing sounds like spousal abuse.

You are being emotionally abused. Unless you are willing to take a stand and enforce boundaries with your wife, it will never stop. But putting up with this garbage of a relationship, you are enabling her bad behavior. My advice is to get some backbone, tell your wife you don't intend to live like this any more - and then make good on that promise.