Marriage Threats

Dear Victorious,

Okay, you answered my question about what makes marriages work. (Thank you for that.) Now tell me, what is the greatest threat to a marriage?

Dawn S. - Waterloo, IA

Dear Dawn,

I believe selfishness and self-centeredness are probably the greatest threats to a marriage. The Bible says that husbands and wives are to become one. When marriages are in trouble, we frequently see them behaving otherwise. When the focus is on my needs, my wants, my hurts, what offends me, what I deserve, etc. --- then there is little or no focus on us or even you.

Marriage is never all about me. But people marry with certain expectations about the benefits and rewards of marriage. Those are usually pretty self-centered and often not very realistic. Rarely do marrying couples spend time examining and considering the responsibilities of marriage --- like sacrifice and compromise.

If people spent as much time planning their marriage as they do planning their wedding, marriages might be more successful overall.