Missing Proposal

Dear Victor,

I've been living with my boyfriend for over two years now, and have been wanting to get married for a long time. No matter what I say, he just resists the notion of marriage and commitment. He tries to rationalize his behavior by telling me how good we are together, etc. I'm a Christian and am sick of this charade. When is he going to make a decent woman of me? What can I do?

Melissa R. - Torrance, CA

Dear Melissa,

What you can do is start living your values. It is not up to your boyfriend to "make a decent woman of you." That is your responsibility ... and it appears that you shirked it a long time ago when you decided to shack up with him. Let's be clear, you can't call yourself a Christ-follower and then deliberately not follow Christ. The Bible is clear about sex and other forms of intimacy outside of a committed marriage relationship. They are off limits.

While you may not like your boyfriend's behavior, let's face the fact that you've been enabling his bad behavior. My advice to you is to get clear on who you are and then live that way. If in fact you are a Christ-follower, then you don't spend even one more night in the same house with any man that you're not married to. Draw firm boundaries about your own sexuality and don't get emotionally intimate with any man unless you see that mutual commitment.