Learning Trust

Dear Victorious,

Over the years I have generally found it hard to trust anyone. I even have trouble trusting people who would seem to be trust worthy. I know as a Christian this isn't a good situation. So how do I learn to trust people?

Marianne S. - Gaithersburg, MD

Dear Marianne,

The first thing you do is get a proper definition of what trust is ... and isn't. When we set out to trust other people, let's remember who we're trusting. They infallible humans, hopeless sinners in desperate need of a Savior. They are dominated by a sinful nature that rages within them. And these conditions exist even among the most trustworthy people on earth!

So the problem for most of us is that we expect those we trust not to fail. We expect them to always honor that trust - never break that trust. If they do, then we conclude that they were never trustworthy in the first place and/or that they shouldn't be trusted now. We may also project that conclusion onto other people (which seems to have happened in your case).

Just because someone broke your trust doesn't mean that you were mistaken to have trusted them. It also doesn't mean that they are not worthy of your trust now. The thing is, we must first put our trust in God. Then we seek Him first, asking Him who He wants us to trust. As we trust others ... at God's direction ... then we also trust God to take care of us. So, for example, if I've prayed about trusting you and felt God telling me to trust you (which is the only real reason that I should), then I also trust God to protect me if you ever break my trust.

We learn to trust others by first learning to trust God. It really is that simple.