Sleeping Around

Dear Victorious,

I have a friend (no really) who seems to think that she has to be sexual with a guy in order to "cement the relationship," as she explains it. I've tried to tell her how crazy this is, but she won't listen. She basically ends up sleeping with every guy she ever dates - and she justifies it by saying that you can't possibly expect a relationship to develop without the sexual dimension of that relationship. She's a believer and says she knows this doesn't line up with Scripture, but thinks that God understands relationships are different today than they were in Bible times. Help!

Kanesha M. - Brentwood, TN

Dear Kanesha,

Your friend is terribly ignorant. And I don't mean stupid. I mean misinformed, without accurate knowledge, missing the facts. There is no such thing as a sexual dimension to a relationship. Sexuality is the celebration of the relationship after that relationship is established and committed to. There is no other way for Christians to be sexual. End of story.

As long as your friend is more interested in justifying her sin with her ignorance, you're wasting your time talking to her. (But that's just my humble opinion.) If you really feel that God is leading you to speak to her, I'd encourage you to just tell her that her claim is not correct - and invite her to come to you if she ever wants to know what is correct. Then you can take her to Scripture and help her find God's truth about sexuality.

The bottom line is that someone who thinks you have to sleep with someone in order to get a romantic relationship with them will never have a godly relationship with anyone.