Lonely Holidays

Dear Victorious,

We moved to a new city almost a year ago. All of our close friends and family live more than a thousand miles away. With the holidays approaching, we can't afford to go home to see them, and I'm becoming really depressed about facing the holidays alone. I know, you're going to tell us to get plugged into a local church. We've done that already, but still don't have any friendships that feel like family. Can you make any recommendations? I mean, if Jesus were in a situation like ours, what do you think He would do?

Dinah E. - Elkhart, IN

Dear Dinah,

I like the way you've asked this question. So here's the thing. Jesus would stop making it all about him. Seriously, your perspective seems to put you at the center of Christmas. Frankly, Christmas is not about you. It never has been. Your impending depression is a result of you placing yourself at the center of Christmas, and focusing on what you don't have.

So what could you do? Make a list of all the people you know at work, school, church or even in the neighborhood that may not have family close by. You don't have to know them very well. If you know their name and they know yours, that's close enough.

Now, invite every single one of those people to your home for Christmas dinner. You provide the meat or other main dish and ask every one of them to RSVP and get each of them to bring something to contribute to the meal. Get someone with a guitar to lead some caroling. Or get some party games to play. Put the football game on TV. Go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, and tell the group what their favorite Christmas was like.

Basically the strategy you want to deploy here is to see yourself as ministering to the neighbors and acquaintances that you've got in this new city. You're not the only one who has nowhere to go for the holidays. So be a solution for all those other people. The best way to get out of a pity party is to throw a party.