Relative Conflict

Q: I have a relative whom I am almost constantly fighting with about something. No matter how much I resolve to "get along" it seems we still end up in conflict with each other. What can I do?

A: God is not the author of conflict. Rather He is the author of unity. So let's start there. This conflict that you have then is not of God. It is therefore caused by some evil somewhere. James 4:1 tells us that arguments and other sorts of conflict are caused by "desires that battle within you" - which are evil in nature.

What does that mean? It means that whenever there is conflict there is sin. It may be your sin. It may be his sin. I may be both of you who are in sin. It may even be the sin of a third party that causes you to quarrel. But whatever the source, you can be sure that sin is behind the conflict.

Christ followers have only three options when it comes to being impacted by the sin of others. First, we can confront it and try to change it. Second, we can forgive it and overlook it. Or third, if the confrontation hasn't been effective - we can separate from the source. In other words, just because someone is a blood relative doesn't require you to maintain a relationship with them ... if you've tried to address the source of the sin and they won't back off.

The only thing wrong between you and your relative then is your reaction to each other. Look for the sin, and then ask God to show you how best to respond to it.