Complete Forgiveness

Q: How do you know if forgiveness is completed? When one of our children commits an offense against another, we tell them to, "Say you're sorry." Obviously, that's not a real apology. But by the same token, how do you know if the forgiveness is complete? In anyone, of any age?

A: Forgiveness is complete when you can proceed as if the offense never happened in the first place. Forgiveness is complete when you never, ever bring the matter up again. Complete forgiveness doesn't allow the offended to hold onto bitterness, resentment, anger, etc.

It's as if the sin were a blemish that gets removed completely. Or it's as if the sin were a stain on fabric - that washes out completely. The fabric is restored to the status it had before the "sin" (i.e., stain) was ever committed against it.

The Bible says that when God forgives our sin, He separates it from us "as far as the east is from the west." (Psalm 103:12) It's impossible for the east and the west to ever be together. That's what God does with our sin. He separates us from it completely. And then He does something else with our sin ... He forgets it! Seriously. The Bible tells us that God has selective memory: He can choose what He wants to remember or forget. Isaiah 43:25 gives us the clearest picture.

So you may not be able to selectively remember or not remember something. But if your forgiveness is real and true, there'll be no reason for you to hold onto the memory of the sin that offended you (and which you've forgiven).