Proper Prayer

Q: I've always been taught that God loves our prayers when they are sincere and from the heart. I've also been taught that when we pray according to God's will, we should expect to get "the desires of our heart." So my question is how we know if we are praying according to God's will? How can we know if our prayer is effective?

A: I think the best answer to your question is to look at the prayer which Jesus modeled for us. Of course Jesus told us how to pray and gave us a specific example in the Lord's Prayer ("Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be they name ...") But what has been more useful to me has been to look at how Jesus Himself prayed.

Jesus was intentional about making prayer a priority. He removed Himself from the hustle and bustle of work and even friends. He set aside substantial amounts of time to go and be alone with the Lord to pray. We should do that too.

Jesus prayed His heart, but He also conceded the priority of God's will over the desire of His heart. The most specific example was his prayer the night before He was arrested (Luke 22:41-43). Jesus knew what was coming down and He knew it would be ugly. So He started with a typical human prayer. But then He did something that only someone who sees beyond their humanity could do. He submitted Himself to God's will. "Lord, if it would please you, I'd like an alternative to this. But if it wouldn't please You, then please give me the grace and strength to walk through it in a way that brings honor and glory to You."

I believe the error that most Christians make is to simply pray the obvious, from a human perspective. For example, if my grandmother is ill I will pray for her complete healing. However, that ignores the fact that she is 90 years old and it is well known that God's will for us is to bring an end to our human lives when we are in that age range.

So a more effective prayer for grandma might be something like, "Lord, I don't want grandma to die. So if it would please you, I ask for her complete healing. However, if you are ready to take her, then I ask that she not suffer. And I ask that you give us the strength and grace to focus on the blessing that she's been and not on the loss we feel. Help us to accept your will for her. And if it is your will that we live without her now, then help us to keep our pain and feelings of loss in their proper perspective. Help us to go on living lives that honor grandma's legacy and bring glory to you, dear Father. These things I ask in Jesus' name. Amen."

Notice the difference in that prayer or the basic, human prayer of "Lord, heal grandma." The thing is that God's perspective and His heart are usually much bigger than ours. So we must take time to think beyond our own human emotions and perspective to really consider - based on what we know of His nature and character - what might be God's heart on whatever might be the matter at hand.

Finally, another excellent example of how to pray effectively is found in the dialogue that occurred between God and King Solomon (1 Kings 3:5-15). God offered to grant absolutely any request that Solomon might have to make. Read this passage and look at the words. Look at the condition of Solomon's heart at the time. But Solomon asked only for wisdom. And this pleased God greatly. Why? Look at the motive behind Solomon's request. It was a self-less motive, bathed in humility. And it was motivated by Solomon's desire to serve others as well as glorify God. These same dynamics should bathe the requests that you and I make of God.