Sexy Pastor

Dear Victorious,

Do you think it's healthy for a pastor to lust after his own wife? Our pastor often makes remarks about his "smokin' hot wife" or uses innuendo that reveals the sexy side of their relationship. It makes some of us uncomfortable. What should we do?

Ted R. - Roseville, CA

Dear Ted,

For a Christ-follower, expressing our sexuality is strictly limited to the bounds of a committed marriage relationship. However, within those boundaries, the couples are free to be as sexy as they want to be. Sex, as God intended it, is the celebration of the relationship - which is a gift from God. So in this context, I believe it is appropriate for your pastor to lust after his own wife. It would give me joy to know that my pastor had a marriage worth celebrating like that.

If your pastor's references to his sexuality are making you uncomfortable, you should first ask yourself why that is. Find someone who is more spiritually mature than you and talk about it with them. Ask them to help you check your motives and make sure there is nothing in you that is over-reacting to the pastor's comments. If then you are certain that his comments are truly out of line, take that other person with you and go talk to him about it.

Tell the pastor that you are truly overjoyed that he has a marriage worth celebrating and are glad to know that his marriage is healthy. But tell him that giving the congregation such an intimate look inside that marriage feels awkward for some people. Ask him to lighten up on the sexual comments and innuendo - out of respect for the people he's leading.