Christening Pain

Dear Victorious,

My only daughter lives a couple of hourse from here, has a new baby and has invited me to her baby's christening at the church, as well as a lunch reception afterwards at her house. The problem is that she has invited her father (my ex-husband) and his wife as well. He was a bad husband who treated me poorly. Being with him would be painful for me. I feel like my daughter is asking the unreasonable. She says if I love my her and my granddaughter I'll "suck it up and deal with it." Who's right here? Is there a Biblical perspective?

Marlyse V. - Reno, NV

Dear Marlyse,

Your daughter is. If you don't go, your absence will be more noticeable than your presence. And it will cost you considerably more than the pain you'd have to bear with being there. Sometimes we have to take a little pain for the ones we love. Just as you had to share your daughter's milestones in life with her father, you'll have to continue to do so and continue to share your granddaughter's milestones in life with your ex-husband. There's no time like the present to come up with a game plan for how you're going to cope with a smile on your face when these situations arise.

Scripture commands us to lead with forgiveness, and to love our enemies. It further says that when we suffer pain as we do what God requires of us, we will be blessed. (Matthew 5) Your Father in heaven requires that you forgive your ex-husband, love him and his wife, pray for them, and treat them with grace at all times. He further acknowledges that this may be painful for you --- and He assures you that He will bless the sacrifice you make in obeying Him.