Trusting People

Dear Victorious,

I have a hard time trusting people. I think it's because I've often been lied to. There've been many times in my life when I counted on others or what they said --- only to be let down. So I guess my distrust is just a self-protection response. My sister says that I need to "get over" this. She says that my inability to trust others taints my relationships. Who is right here?

Zeta C. - Petaluma, CA

Dear Zeta,

I'm not sure anyone is right or wrong here. But your sister makes a good point, that your unwillingness to trust creates a handicap for each of your relationships.

The problem is that people are imperfect. They lie. They fail. It doesn't mean they aren't sincere. It means that they are sinners in desperate need of a Savior. So how should you respond? There are several things that come to mind.

Put your trust in Jesus Christ alone. No one else will ever be worthy of your trust. Only Jesus can be depended on. He will never fail you.

Understand that, with Jesus, you can risk yourself with other people. By that I mean you can trust them, even though you know there's a good chance they'll fail you. But you also know Jesus will be sufficient for you in the face of those other people letting you down.

Start having realistic expectations of people. Understand that they don't usually intend to deceive you or let you down. Decide up front that you're going to forgive them, just as God forgives you. Plan to offer them the grace that has so richly been given to you.