Talk Too Much

Dear Victorious,

How is it possible for someone to talk too much? I know that we need to be good listeners. But I also see that sometimes we just have to get something off our chest. Or we feel like someone needs to hear what we have to say. Maybe it isn't as important that we say it as it is that they hear it. I'm not sure what my question is exactly. But I'm trying to understand when a good Christian talks and when they don't.

Dave H. - Chicago, IL

Dear Dave,

There are a couple of Proverbs that come to mind when I read what you wrote. Proverbs 10:19 says we are not to talk too much, because it fosters sin. Similarly, Proverbs 11:12 says that a person with good sense remains silent.

Of course we all experience this feeling or thinking that we need to be heard. In fact, it seems to be one of the strongest drivers of human need in communications. We always feel that it's more important to be heard than it is to listen. These are human feelings though. And human feelings are great liars.

There is a time to talk and a time to listen. Frankly, no human can ever perfectly identify what each of those times are. We need to defer to the leading of the Holy Spirit. He will show us when it is time to talk and when it is time to listen. But when in doubt, we are probably better off listening.

One thing I do when I'm in situation to listen is to pray. I specifically ask God to let me hear what He hears, see what He sees and think about things with His perspective. It's a prayer that He is always happy to answer.