Marriage Secrets

Dear Victorious,

I have been married a couple of years now, but it is really not working. What is the secret to a marriage that works?

Vivian A. - Appleton, WI

Dear Vivian,

I don't think there is a secret to marriages that work. It is a process that's grounded in commitment. Are you committed to this marriage and this person - more than you are committed to your own personal happiness and satisfaction? If there is a secret to marriages which work ... that would be it.

I'm not being flippant with you. But marriage is conversion of sacrifice by both parties. Ephesians 5:22-33 is an often quoted Scripture reference for successful marriages. And it is indeed relevant to what you're asking. But look at the rest of that chapter and notice what else it has to say about how we live.

These aren't the kind of Bible verses you'll see engraved on a plate and sold at the local Christian book store. But they are the kind of Bible verses that make life work.

The whole concept of "falling in love" is man-made. It is not of God. It is not Biblical. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to find someone, "fall in love," and marry them. But the Bible does say we are to choose wisely, be equally yoked ... with one who shares our submission to Christ, and to submit to and sacrifice for our chosen spouse --- for life.

The secret to making your marriage work is most likely found within the intent of your heart. (And the same is true for your husband.)