Required to Marry?

Q: My grandmother says that if you have sex with someone then you are obligated to marry them, even if they're not pregnant. Is this really Biblical? Does this mean that gays who have sex must then get married? Wouldn't that be a double standard?

A: Well, it is Biblical in the sense that it's stated in the Bible. Exodus 22:16 says that if a man sleeps with a virgin, he must then pay the customary dowry (if there is one) and accept her as his wife (i.e., marry her).

Certainly there is context around that. The violated virgin must be willing to embrace the marriage. Each party must then commit to the exclusivity of the marriage. But yes, it's in the Bible. Even if she's not pregnant.

And no, it does not mean that gays who have sex must marry. One Biblical standard always gets replaced by a higher, more specific Biblical standard. So, take the case of a man sleeping with a virgin. If that woman is of a different religion and won't share the faith of the man, there is a higher Biblical standard which says that Christians are not to marry non-Christians. So rather than marry the virgin, the man would confess, do what's honorable to support the woman and repent of his sexual sin.

In the case of homosexuals, there is higher (more direct) scripture prohibiting acts of homosexuality. So if two men sleep together they are not to marry. Rather they are to submit to this higher standard and repent of that sin. They are to commit themselves to no further homosexual endeavors for the rest of their lives.