Christian Divorce

Q: I know that God hates divorce, but it seems that a great many Christians (at least the ones I know) have been divorced. Some of them have been divorced more than once! So as a Christian, how do you know when it is time to get divorced?

A: You're right in saying that God hates divorce. But He stops short of absolutely forbidding it. In fact, Moses allowed the Israelites to divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1-4) and Jesus explained that divorce was allowed among God's chosen people because of the hardness of their hearts (Mark 10:1-10) But in that same conversation, Jesus reiterated that God's intention is for marriage to be permanent. God hates divorce.

So it's important for Christians to have an accurate view of God's will for their marriage. God hates marriage and He wants marriages to last. But God also understands we are humans and our hearts can become so wounded, so bitter and so unforgiving that marriage can become a sore source of misery.

I have read reports that the divorce rate among those who identify themselves as born-again Christians is higher. But frankly, I believe that is because the divorce drove them to Christ. So I don't believe it is that Christians divorce more frequently than non-Christians. But often the pain of divorce can only be resolved by turning to Christ.

Finally, let's look at your question about how to know if it's time to get a divorce. Certainly there is always hope with Jesus. If both partners are fully submitted to Jesus Christ then there is hope for the marriage. So in that context, it's never going to be time to get a divorce.

On a more practical note though, let me say that I would only get a divorce if I'd prayed over it and had at least one other mature believer praying about it with me. I'd be looking for God's permission to exit the marriage commitment. And I'd expect the wise counsel of other mature believers to affirm with me that God's permission is actually what I'd received.

God hates divorce - but it is not the unforgiveable sin.