What's Love?

Q: I know that 1 Corinthians 13 gives us a definition of love. But it seems that mankind - whether Christian or not - struggles to define love. Is it a feeling or an action? An emotion or a decision? Why do we struggle so with it - when the Bible is so straight forward about what love is? Seriously, how should love be any better defined or understood?

A: I believe the reason that mankind - whether Christian or not - struggles so much with the definition of love is that love refuses to meet our expectations. The thing about love is that a lot of evil wants to come under the disguise of love. Take selfishness, for example. Often when someone tells you they're in love, they talk all about what the other means to them. Consider these statements common to someone talking about love:

"He makes me feel so ...."
"He treats me like ..."
"I get butterflies whenever I'm around her."

What's at the root of those statements? Me! Often we confuse love with being how we feel about someone or how we react to someone. That says nothing about them ... but quite a bit about us.

1 Corinthians 13 is the place to start for a timeless definition of love. The best way to understand it is to look at the character and nature of love as its defined here --- and then begin writing more statements. Suppose, for this exercise, that the Apostle Paul told you he'd written this much, and he asked you to keep writing 1 Corinthians 13. So you'd start writing, and it might look something like this:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn't keep track of whose turn it is to pay for dinner. Love leads with forgiveness ... even before it knows if who is to blame or if they're sorry or not. Love doesn't keep score. Love would never embarrass you in front of your friends. Love protects your reputation. Love would never have a good laugh at your expense. Love is eager to make sacrifices for your pleasure.

And the definition continues: Love is willing to confront you when you're wrong and gently correct you ... but not in front of others. Love always believes in you and is always willing to give you second, third and fourth chances. Love picks up after itself and is never late for appointments. Love pays its bills on time and lives within its means. Love is generous to a fault. Love draws firm boundaries and is quick to discipline.

So you get the point here. Keep writing. Think of all the situations and relationships you've ever been in ... and apply the 1 Corinthians 13 definition of love to them. Then watch how it comes out. You'll see that love is not so hard to understand or figure out. It just isn't what comes natural to human beings. But it is what comes natural to spiritual beings. So in conclusion, love isn't human. Rather love is supernatural, divine, spiritual and descends from heaven.