Communication Mistakes

Q: What's the biggest mistake that Christians make in communicating with each other and in communicating with non-Christians?

A: I could list quite a number of what I think are important. It would be a long list! But here are what I believe would be the top three.

First, and most importantly, Christians forget the most important commandments to love God and love others. We don't speak out of love for God and we don't speak out of love for others. In fact, if we could be honest, I suspect that much of the time we do not love others. This is the most important and the single biggest mistake we make ... communicating without love.

Second, and nearly as important, Christians talk when they have nothing to say. Or they keep taking when the conversation is over. How does this happen? They don't let the Holy Spirit lead the conversation. They submit every thought captive to Him. Instead they speak from their own perspective, their own experience and their own understanding. This is the second most important mistake that we make ... communicating without the leading of the Spirit.

Third, and also nearly as important, Christians often don't approach things with an open mind. To be more specific, we don't allow for the possibility that we could be wrong. Or at least not often enough. We certainly aren't open to a question of God's Truth. But there are many other issues and points that we can have a discussion about which aren't God's Truth. And instead of being interested in the truth and allowing for the fact that we may not possess it, we plow ahead as if our perspective or understanding were God's Truth. A classic example would be in politics. Christians will take a position in an election and stand boldly for that position --- never allowing for the fact that they could be wrong or that God might have a different position. This would be the third most important mistake that we make ... communicating from a basis that isn't formed by God's Truth.