Good Sex

Dear Victorious,

I know you've addressed masturbation and maybe some other sexual questions in the past. But can you tell me what exactly good sex consists of? I'm a Christian of course, and am taught that God created sex and wants it to be good. So how exactly does sex become good sex?

Natalie S. - Livingston, TX

Dear Natalie,

For starters, good sex is limited to the context of marriage. Anything outside of a committed marriage is ungodly --- meaning it won't be blessed by God because it isn't pleasing to Him. Once inside a committed marriage then, sexual intercourse is the celebration of the relationship. Therefore, the relationship must be worth celebrating. Each of you must have completely forgiven the other and extended God's grace to each other. Each of you should have sought God together. For example, a couple that prays together is more likely to have a satisfying sex life.

The thing is it's not the mechanics of sexual intercourse, or the timing that make a sex life good. Rather it is the lack of guilt or shame or anger in the relationship, and steady supply of good feelings and attitudes that come from God's grace and leadership in the marriage.

Again, sexual intercourse is the celebration of the relationship. Make sure you have a relationship that's worth celebrating - and you'll have God's favor in pursuing a satisfying sexual dimension to that relationship.