Dear Victorious,
What, in your opinion, is the biggest problem in Christian churches today?
Mark O. - Temple, TX
Dear Mark,
That's a big question. There are a lot of problems in Christian churches today ... as there were in Christian churches hundreds and even thousands of years ago. I suppose if we had to identify just one that causes the most trouble (i.e., keeps the church from being effective in its mission), it would be the inability and/or unwillingness of the church to confront sin.
In the Old Testament, prophets were raised up by God to, among other things, identify and confront sin. God may still be raising up those prophets today, but if He is, nobody is listening to them. Perhaps they've been silenced by church rules, by culture, etc. But the point is, identification and confrontation of sin in the lives of the people in the churches is not happening. And the consequences are far greater than I think any of us can imagine.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Biblical Divorce
Dear Victorious,
You've been talking about marriage recently. So what about divorce? How do you know when it's time to get a divorce? What does God think about divorce?
Sandra R. - Pacific Palisades, CA
Dear Sandra,
God hates divorce. It is never His will for anyone that a union of any kind be broken permanently. He is about restoration of relationships. Always. But God allowed divorce in the Bible because of the hardening of His people's hearts. In other words, God doesn't want us to divorce. But He recognizes that sometimes the wounds can be so deep, and our faith in Him to get us through that pain is so weak, that remaining in a committed relationship with that individual is simply too hard for us. So God allows divorce.
Specifically God gives us circumstances where He might expect to see those wounds harden our hearts. They are (1) a spouse keeping the other spouse from God and (2) infidelity. Most theologians and ministers today would agree that abuse also qualifies for a "Christian divorce."
Now the thing is though, that Christians could also forgive all those "Biblical grounds for divorce." We could overcome them. That God allows divorce because of our hardened hearts should be recognized for what it is ... failure on our part. If my heart is so hardened toward my spouse that I can not imagine continuing a relationship --- then I have failed as a Christian. Hardened hearts are never the work of the Holy Spirit in God's people. Rather they are the result of the failure of God's people to yield to the Holy Spirit.
You've been talking about marriage recently. So what about divorce? How do you know when it's time to get a divorce? What does God think about divorce?
Sandra R. - Pacific Palisades, CA
Dear Sandra,
God hates divorce. It is never His will for anyone that a union of any kind be broken permanently. He is about restoration of relationships. Always. But God allowed divorce in the Bible because of the hardening of His people's hearts. In other words, God doesn't want us to divorce. But He recognizes that sometimes the wounds can be so deep, and our faith in Him to get us through that pain is so weak, that remaining in a committed relationship with that individual is simply too hard for us. So God allows divorce.
Specifically God gives us circumstances where He might expect to see those wounds harden our hearts. They are (1) a spouse keeping the other spouse from God and (2) infidelity. Most theologians and ministers today would agree that abuse also qualifies for a "Christian divorce."
Now the thing is though, that Christians could also forgive all those "Biblical grounds for divorce." We could overcome them. That God allows divorce because of our hardened hearts should be recognized for what it is ... failure on our part. If my heart is so hardened toward my spouse that I can not imagine continuing a relationship --- then I have failed as a Christian. Hardened hearts are never the work of the Holy Spirit in God's people. Rather they are the result of the failure of God's people to yield to the Holy Spirit.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Marriage Vows
Dear Victorious,
I read your response recently to the couple who wanted to write their own wedding vows. How do you know if your wedding vows are really any good though? I mean how can you know if the vows you took at your wedding are really of value?
Janet M. - Springdale, UT
Dear Janet,
The wedding vows can be a wonderful assortment of words. But the strength of the commitment can only be shown when it is tested over time. Consider the strength of the commitment for example, of a couple who divorce after 25 or 30 years of marriage. If I committed to you "for better or worse ... till death do us part," but then divorce you 30 years later - what was the strength of that commitment?
The answer of course is not very good. A commitment isn't very good if it fails 30 years later. In fact, I'd say that commitment was weaker than a marriage that collapses in the first year. The thing is that it is not the wedding vows that make the marriage. Rather it is the people in the marriage who make it. So if you want a strong marriage, check yourself. And be highly discriminating about who you marry.
I read your response recently to the couple who wanted to write their own wedding vows. How do you know if your wedding vows are really any good though? I mean how can you know if the vows you took at your wedding are really of value?
Janet M. - Springdale, UT
Dear Janet,
The wedding vows can be a wonderful assortment of words. But the strength of the commitment can only be shown when it is tested over time. Consider the strength of the commitment for example, of a couple who divorce after 25 or 30 years of marriage. If I committed to you "for better or worse ... till death do us part," but then divorce you 30 years later - what was the strength of that commitment?
The answer of course is not very good. A commitment isn't very good if it fails 30 years later. In fact, I'd say that commitment was weaker than a marriage that collapses in the first year. The thing is that it is not the wedding vows that make the marriage. Rather it is the people in the marriage who make it. So if you want a strong marriage, check yourself. And be highly discriminating about who you marry.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
God's Wrath
Dear Victorious,
Do you think God is still angry over our sin?
Kendall M. - Mesquite, TX
Dear Kendall,
Yes, I do. God doesn't change. And His character and nature are revealed in splendid detail throughout the Old Testament. His reaction to our sin is no different today than it ever was for any of His people. The difference today is that we have Jesus standing between us and God. So we experience His wrath differently than people did before. We also atone for our sins and reconcile our relationship with God differently (i.e., through Jesus) than they did back then.
Do you think God is still angry over our sin?
Kendall M. - Mesquite, TX
Dear Kendall,
Yes, I do. God doesn't change. And His character and nature are revealed in splendid detail throughout the Old Testament. His reaction to our sin is no different today than it ever was for any of His people. The difference today is that we have Jesus standing between us and God. So we experience His wrath differently than people did before. We also atone for our sins and reconcile our relationship with God differently (i.e., through Jesus) than they did back then.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Deadbeat Friend
Dear Victorious,
A couple of years ago I loaned money to a friend. It was a material amount of money. She said she would pay me back when she got her tax refund. But then something else came up and needed the money for that. Things seem to keep coming up and she has not paid me one dime of this money back in two years. I've always valued our friendship. But I am increasingly frustrated and resentful of her for this. We are becoming increasingly distant with each other as well, and I miss the friendship we used to have. What can I do?
Helen R. - Houston, TX
Dear Helen,
The first thing you'll have to do is forgive her for sinning against you. The second thing you'll have to do is accept the loss of this money. If she signed a formal note, you may be able to write it off as a deduction on your income taxes. (Talk to you tax advisor about this.) Two years is long enough to have established her intent. Your friend doesn't intend to pay you back any of this money. Otherwise she would have made some effort to pay you something.
Now, about that friendship. It seems that your friend is willing to put a price on your friendship. She just did. So the thing you have to consider is whether or not you are willing to still be her friend in the face of this. If I were you, I would continue to love her and pray for her - genuinely wanting only the best for her. You'll have to decide if you can still be friends with her ... without ever getting any of this money back.
The Bible says that when God forgives us, He separates us from the sin "as far as the east is from the west." This is the kind of forgiveness He wants us to extend to each other. So when you decide to forgive your friend, your goal is to forgive her to such an extent that you can deal with her as if she had never borrowed any money from you in the first place. If you can't - or won't do that, the friendship is probably over.
If you decide to offer her God's kind of forgiveness, I would specifically have a conversation with her that might go something like this. "Karen, it's been two years and you've not paid me one dime. It's apparent to me that you don't ever intend to pay me anything unless you have excess with which to do it. In that case, I've decided to forgive you for not paying me and to forgive the debt. I don't want this to stand between us. So let's just take that off the table as if it never happened. I want our old friendship back. You don't owe me any money. But I would like your friendship. It's what I value more than the money anyway."
A couple of years ago I loaned money to a friend. It was a material amount of money. She said she would pay me back when she got her tax refund. But then something else came up and needed the money for that. Things seem to keep coming up and she has not paid me one dime of this money back in two years. I've always valued our friendship. But I am increasingly frustrated and resentful of her for this. We are becoming increasingly distant with each other as well, and I miss the friendship we used to have. What can I do?
Helen R. - Houston, TX
Dear Helen,
The first thing you'll have to do is forgive her for sinning against you. The second thing you'll have to do is accept the loss of this money. If she signed a formal note, you may be able to write it off as a deduction on your income taxes. (Talk to you tax advisor about this.) Two years is long enough to have established her intent. Your friend doesn't intend to pay you back any of this money. Otherwise she would have made some effort to pay you something.
Now, about that friendship. It seems that your friend is willing to put a price on your friendship. She just did. So the thing you have to consider is whether or not you are willing to still be her friend in the face of this. If I were you, I would continue to love her and pray for her - genuinely wanting only the best for her. You'll have to decide if you can still be friends with her ... without ever getting any of this money back.
The Bible says that when God forgives us, He separates us from the sin "as far as the east is from the west." This is the kind of forgiveness He wants us to extend to each other. So when you decide to forgive your friend, your goal is to forgive her to such an extent that you can deal with her as if she had never borrowed any money from you in the first place. If you can't - or won't do that, the friendship is probably over.
If you decide to offer her God's kind of forgiveness, I would specifically have a conversation with her that might go something like this. "Karen, it's been two years and you've not paid me one dime. It's apparent to me that you don't ever intend to pay me anything unless you have excess with which to do it. In that case, I've decided to forgive you for not paying me and to forgive the debt. I don't want this to stand between us. So let's just take that off the table as if it never happened. I want our old friendship back. You don't owe me any money. But I would like your friendship. It's what I value more than the money anyway."
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wedding Vows
Dear Victorious,
I'm getting married next spring. My boyfriend and I would like to write our own wedding vows. Do you have any suggestions for what they should include?
Nancy O. - Madison, WI
Dear Nancy,
I would take a serious look at the traditional wedding vows and ask yourselves what it is about those that you find unacceptable ... and why. The thing about a marriage that most people miss is the aspect of commitment. If I am committed to you for 25 years and then divorce you --- what was the strength of that commitment?
People marry for better or for worse. But they never seem to have any idea of what worse could look like. They've spent all their time imagining what better looks like. You should have a serious discussion about what worse looks like. How would you handle, for example, infidelity in the marriage? Mental illness? Physical disability? Sexual dysfunction? Financial distress? What if one of you lets yourself go physically and becomes obese?
Your marriage vows should reflect your true intent. Figure out what that is and then you'll know how to write your vows.
I'm getting married next spring. My boyfriend and I would like to write our own wedding vows. Do you have any suggestions for what they should include?
Nancy O. - Madison, WI
Dear Nancy,
I would take a serious look at the traditional wedding vows and ask yourselves what it is about those that you find unacceptable ... and why. The thing about a marriage that most people miss is the aspect of commitment. If I am committed to you for 25 years and then divorce you --- what was the strength of that commitment?
People marry for better or for worse. But they never seem to have any idea of what worse could look like. They've spent all their time imagining what better looks like. You should have a serious discussion about what worse looks like. How would you handle, for example, infidelity in the marriage? Mental illness? Physical disability? Sexual dysfunction? Financial distress? What if one of you lets yourself go physically and becomes obese?
Your marriage vows should reflect your true intent. Figure out what that is and then you'll know how to write your vows.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Wish List
Dear Victorious,
If you could ask God for anything and you knew He would give it to you, what would you ask Him for?
Chuck T. - Lufkin, TX
Dear Chuck,
That's a very good question. Today is my birthday, and my wife asked me what I wanted. I told her nothing. But the truth is that there are lots of things I would want. But there's nothing that my wife or my family are capable of giving me. (So I don't ask for it.)
If I could ask God for anything and knew that He'd give it to me, I suppose I would ask Him for righteousness. I would like to be sinless, without sin. I would like all of my motives to be pure. I would like all of my thoughts to be God-honoring. I'd like to see only what God sees in the world. I would like to hear only what God hears. And I'd like to think about everything with the mind of Christ - instead of the flawed mind that I currently possess.
I know that the process of sanctification will ultimately bring all these things about in me. But I don't want to wait. I'd ask for it all now.
If you could ask God for anything and you knew He would give it to you, what would you ask Him for?
Chuck T. - Lufkin, TX
Dear Chuck,
That's a very good question. Today is my birthday, and my wife asked me what I wanted. I told her nothing. But the truth is that there are lots of things I would want. But there's nothing that my wife or my family are capable of giving me. (So I don't ask for it.)
If I could ask God for anything and knew that He'd give it to me, I suppose I would ask Him for righteousness. I would like to be sinless, without sin. I would like all of my motives to be pure. I would like all of my thoughts to be God-honoring. I'd like to see only what God sees in the world. I would like to hear only what God hears. And I'd like to think about everything with the mind of Christ - instead of the flawed mind that I currently possess.
I know that the process of sanctification will ultimately bring all these things about in me. But I don't want to wait. I'd ask for it all now.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Satan's Creator
Dear Victorious,
I've been reading a web site that says since God created Satan, and Satan is evil, then God must be evil as well. In fact, this web site says that God created evil. Is this true?
Carla D. - Las Cruces, NM
Dear Carla,
No, it is not true. God did create Satan. But He created Him to be an angel that serves and glorifies God. The thing about God is that the beings which He God created both angels and humans - and each received something called "free choice." That is both angels and humans are free to serve God or not.
God is not capable of evil. He did not create evil. It was never His will for either the angels or the humans. But Satan made a choice. And he convinced many angels to make the same choice. And they've been busy ever since trying to convince humans to make that choice.
At best, one might argue that in giving the angels and humans free choice, God created in us the capacity for evil. But evil itself is only created when we choose not to serve God. Those who choose other than God are the evil ones; and they are the creators of evil as well.
I've been reading a web site that says since God created Satan, and Satan is evil, then God must be evil as well. In fact, this web site says that God created evil. Is this true?
Carla D. - Las Cruces, NM
Dear Carla,
No, it is not true. God did create Satan. But He created Him to be an angel that serves and glorifies God. The thing about God is that the beings which He God created both angels and humans - and each received something called "free choice." That is both angels and humans are free to serve God or not.
God is not capable of evil. He did not create evil. It was never His will for either the angels or the humans. But Satan made a choice. And he convinced many angels to make the same choice. And they've been busy ever since trying to convince humans to make that choice.
At best, one might argue that in giving the angels and humans free choice, God created in us the capacity for evil. But evil itself is only created when we choose not to serve God. Those who choose other than God are the evil ones; and they are the creators of evil as well.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Teen Pregnancy
Dear Victorious,
Our teen-aged daughter is pregnant. As you can imagine, we are distraught. She is only 16 and has her whole life ahead of her. The baby's father is not involved. To make matters worse, we aren't even sure who the baby's father is. Our daughter says "it doesn't matter" and she isn't interested in knowing who the baby's father is. She of course wants to keep the baby and insists that she's ready to be a good mother.
We have searched the Bible and just don't know what to do as Christian parents. This is a case where we're wondering what Jesus would do. Can you tell us?
Anthony C. - Yonkers, NY
Dear Anthony,
Based on what I know of Jesus' nature and character, my guess is that He would start with forgiveness. Your daughter needs to be forgiven.
Her sin has been committed. She is now dealing with the consequences of that sin. Yes, she made a bad choice, and now she's going to pay for that. Others will likely suffer from that bad choice as well. The baby's father, his family, the baby, your family and of course your daughter. Everyone will pay for this poor choice in one way or another.
So a lot of forgiveness is going to be needed. That means you separate your daughter from the sin "as far as the east is from the west." You never bring it up again.
The next thing I suspect Jesus would do is help your daughter grasp her responsibilities in the situation. You and your wife need to sit down and decide what you are willing to do ... and what you are not willing to do. Then you need to meet with your daughter an walk through these responsibilities and what you are willing to do to help her with them. As part of that conversation, you should also help her examine what else is needed and what can be done to resolve it.
Certainly you are disappointed. But she is still your daughter. Lead with a firm hand. Set firm boundaries. Don't enable her bad behavior or disproportionately allow her to escape the consequences of her poor choices.
Finally, you need to be firmly grounded in God's Word. Look at how God deals with His children (you and me) regarding our poor choices. Specifically, He delivers us from the guilt and shame with absolute forgiveness. In some situations, He lessens the severity of how we experience the consequences. But He does not ever remove the consequences entirely or protect us from them. Rather He insists that we step up and be responsible for our own choices and their natural consequences. You should do the same with your daughter.
Our teen-aged daughter is pregnant. As you can imagine, we are distraught. She is only 16 and has her whole life ahead of her. The baby's father is not involved. To make matters worse, we aren't even sure who the baby's father is. Our daughter says "it doesn't matter" and she isn't interested in knowing who the baby's father is. She of course wants to keep the baby and insists that she's ready to be a good mother.
We have searched the Bible and just don't know what to do as Christian parents. This is a case where we're wondering what Jesus would do. Can you tell us?
Anthony C. - Yonkers, NY
Dear Anthony,
Based on what I know of Jesus' nature and character, my guess is that He would start with forgiveness. Your daughter needs to be forgiven.
Her sin has been committed. She is now dealing with the consequences of that sin. Yes, she made a bad choice, and now she's going to pay for that. Others will likely suffer from that bad choice as well. The baby's father, his family, the baby, your family and of course your daughter. Everyone will pay for this poor choice in one way or another.
So a lot of forgiveness is going to be needed. That means you separate your daughter from the sin "as far as the east is from the west." You never bring it up again.
The next thing I suspect Jesus would do is help your daughter grasp her responsibilities in the situation. You and your wife need to sit down and decide what you are willing to do ... and what you are not willing to do. Then you need to meet with your daughter an walk through these responsibilities and what you are willing to do to help her with them. As part of that conversation, you should also help her examine what else is needed and what can be done to resolve it.
Certainly you are disappointed. But she is still your daughter. Lead with a firm hand. Set firm boundaries. Don't enable her bad behavior or disproportionately allow her to escape the consequences of her poor choices.
Finally, you need to be firmly grounded in God's Word. Look at how God deals with His children (you and me) regarding our poor choices. Specifically, He delivers us from the guilt and shame with absolute forgiveness. In some situations, He lessens the severity of how we experience the consequences. But He does not ever remove the consequences entirely or protect us from them. Rather He insists that we step up and be responsible for our own choices and their natural consequences. You should do the same with your daughter.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Beyond Salvation
Dear Victorious,
I know that God isn't willing that even one should be lost. He loves everyone and wants everyone to be saved. But isn't it possible for someone to actually put themselves beyond the hope of salvation?
Zach T. - Flower Mound, TX
Dear Zach,
Yes, there are certain passages of Scripture that seem to suggest it is possible for someone to put themselves beyond salvation as we know it. 1 John 3:4-24 comes to mind as one of those passages. But I think the criteria here is what it is that actually puts them beyond salvation. It is not any boundary that God sets. Rather it is the hardened hearts that we cling to. A hardened heart that is not willing to yield to the softening nature of Christ cannot meet the requirements to believe in Christ, love God and others, etc. That would be the primary criteria that would suggest to me that someone is "beyond salvation."
The fact is we don't know for sure if it is possible for someone to be beyond salvation. Only God Himself knows the true condition of someone's heart. And He could of course see something in that heart that no other human could see. Still, if I were harboring unforgiveness or hatred, I would take a serious look in the mirror and ask myself where I think I can go in eternity with such hardness in my heart.
I know that God isn't willing that even one should be lost. He loves everyone and wants everyone to be saved. But isn't it possible for someone to actually put themselves beyond the hope of salvation?
Zach T. - Flower Mound, TX
Dear Zach,
Yes, there are certain passages of Scripture that seem to suggest it is possible for someone to put themselves beyond salvation as we know it. 1 John 3:4-24 comes to mind as one of those passages. But I think the criteria here is what it is that actually puts them beyond salvation. It is not any boundary that God sets. Rather it is the hardened hearts that we cling to. A hardened heart that is not willing to yield to the softening nature of Christ cannot meet the requirements to believe in Christ, love God and others, etc. That would be the primary criteria that would suggest to me that someone is "beyond salvation."
The fact is we don't know for sure if it is possible for someone to be beyond salvation. Only God Himself knows the true condition of someone's heart. And He could of course see something in that heart that no other human could see. Still, if I were harboring unforgiveness or hatred, I would take a serious look in the mirror and ask myself where I think I can go in eternity with such hardness in my heart.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Obama Evil?
Dear Victorious,
It seems that many of the people who voted for Barack Obama have now turned against him. I read and hear much bashing of Obama now. Frankly, it's really ugly. Do you think Obama is evil and that he deserves this kind of treatment?
Kimberly E. - Chilicothe, OH
Dear Kimberly,
No, I don't think Obama deserves this kind of treatment. As our President, we need to remember that God, at a minimum, allowed this man to take this position. He deserves our respect for the office that he holds. Too many so-called Christians might be surprised to find that their sniping and gossiping are just as ungodly as whatever it is they think Obama is guilty of!
Do I think Obama is evil? No, I certainly don't. I suspect he is misguided and undiscipled. But I believe he is sincere and does what he thinks is best. I wish he were more grounded in Biblical truth and held fast to more Biblical principles. That said, it is my responsibility to pray for him and pray for those who advise and influence him.
It seems that many of the people who voted for Barack Obama have now turned against him. I read and hear much bashing of Obama now. Frankly, it's really ugly. Do you think Obama is evil and that he deserves this kind of treatment?
Kimberly E. - Chilicothe, OH
Dear Kimberly,
No, I don't think Obama deserves this kind of treatment. As our President, we need to remember that God, at a minimum, allowed this man to take this position. He deserves our respect for the office that he holds. Too many so-called Christians might be surprised to find that their sniping and gossiping are just as ungodly as whatever it is they think Obama is guilty of!
Do I think Obama is evil? No, I certainly don't. I suspect he is misguided and undiscipled. But I believe he is sincere and does what he thinks is best. I wish he were more grounded in Biblical truth and held fast to more Biblical principles. That said, it is my responsibility to pray for him and pray for those who advise and influence him.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Friendship & Love
Dear Victorious,
What is a good way for Christians to define friendship? Is true love really necessary for a friendship to be real?
Carmen N. - Carrollton, TX
Dear Carmen,
Yes, I think love is necessary for any relationship to be real. (After all, the Bible says that even our relationship with our enemies should include love!) A good way to define a friendship though is perhaps by looking at two possible dimensions of such a relationship.
1. A true friend is someone who will actually do anything for you ... at any time.
2. A true friend is someone who knows the worst that there is to be known about you ... and accepts you anyway.
As you can see, both of these possible dimensions have love as their basis. I frankly can't imagine a friendship that wouldn't.
What is a good way for Christians to define friendship? Is true love really necessary for a friendship to be real?
Carmen N. - Carrollton, TX
Dear Carmen,
Yes, I think love is necessary for any relationship to be real. (After all, the Bible says that even our relationship with our enemies should include love!) A good way to define a friendship though is perhaps by looking at two possible dimensions of such a relationship.
1. A true friend is someone who will actually do anything for you ... at any time.
2. A true friend is someone who knows the worst that there is to be known about you ... and accepts you anyway.
As you can see, both of these possible dimensions have love as their basis. I frankly can't imagine a friendship that wouldn't.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Dangerous Christians
Dear Victorious,
What, in your opinion, is the most dangerous or risky thing that Christians do in America today?
Steve R. - Stafford, TX
Dear Steve,
Of all the questions I receive, that's a relatively easy one to answer. We ignore God and His instructions for us. We flirt with sin and evil and we don't value holiness and righteousness near enough. So we decided that good enough is good enough. God said, "You be holy, as I am holy." (1 Peter 1:16) And we are not. That, in my opinion, is a most dangerous position for a Christ-follower to put themselves in.
What, in your opinion, is the most dangerous or risky thing that Christians do in America today?
Steve R. - Stafford, TX
Dear Steve,
Of all the questions I receive, that's a relatively easy one to answer. We ignore God and His instructions for us. We flirt with sin and evil and we don't value holiness and righteousness near enough. So we decided that good enough is good enough. God said, "You be holy, as I am holy." (1 Peter 1:16) And we are not. That, in my opinion, is a most dangerous position for a Christ-follower to put themselves in.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Repentance
Dear Victorious,
I know that Christians are supposed to repent of their sins, but frankly am not sure what this looks like. I suspect is is more than just saying you're sorry. What does appropriate repentance look like in a Christ-follower?
Tia M. - Prosper, TX
Dear Tia,
You're right, repentance is more than just saying you're sorry. The dictionary defines it simply as deep sorrow for the sin committed. But for a Christ-follower, the Bible actually provides a significantly broader definition of true repentance for sin. Here are some components of repentance to keep in mind.
1. Agree with God that what you did was wrong. Understand that God was grieved by your sin. You should love God so much that you want to please Him, and are therefore grieved by your sin as well.
2. Confess the sin to God.
3. Confess the sin to another individual who is at least as spiritually mature as you are, and ask them to pray with you about the matter. Specifically pray for God's leadership in helping you avoid that sin in the future and for God's guidance on how to go about making things right.
4. If you have harmed someone else with your sin, even unintentionally, do whatever you can to make it right. This could range from a simple apology to actually paying restitution for material damage.
5. Demonstrate a pattern of behavior that reflects your own effort to avoid this sin in the future. Even if it is a habitual sin and you're not able to quit "cold turkey," true repentance means you should be doing it less and less as time goes on.
If a Christ-follower is truly repenting of any sin, the above five (5) steps will always be followed. If any of them are missing, I would seriously question how sincere the repentance is.
I know that Christians are supposed to repent of their sins, but frankly am not sure what this looks like. I suspect is is more than just saying you're sorry. What does appropriate repentance look like in a Christ-follower?
Tia M. - Prosper, TX
Dear Tia,
You're right, repentance is more than just saying you're sorry. The dictionary defines it simply as deep sorrow for the sin committed. But for a Christ-follower, the Bible actually provides a significantly broader definition of true repentance for sin. Here are some components of repentance to keep in mind.
1. Agree with God that what you did was wrong. Understand that God was grieved by your sin. You should love God so much that you want to please Him, and are therefore grieved by your sin as well.
2. Confess the sin to God.
3. Confess the sin to another individual who is at least as spiritually mature as you are, and ask them to pray with you about the matter. Specifically pray for God's leadership in helping you avoid that sin in the future and for God's guidance on how to go about making things right.
4. If you have harmed someone else with your sin, even unintentionally, do whatever you can to make it right. This could range from a simple apology to actually paying restitution for material damage.
5. Demonstrate a pattern of behavior that reflects your own effort to avoid this sin in the future. Even if it is a habitual sin and you're not able to quit "cold turkey," true repentance means you should be doing it less and less as time goes on.
If a Christ-follower is truly repenting of any sin, the above five (5) steps will always be followed. If any of them are missing, I would seriously question how sincere the repentance is.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Non Profits
Dear Victor,
What do you think of so-called "para church ministries?" We seem to have so many of them these days. And they're all asking for money. They seem to support good causes, that God would want us to care about. But frankly I have trouble with the conflict between my obligation to tithe to the church, and the need to support these worthy causes. I can't afford to do both. How then should we regard para-church ministries?
Evan P. - Little Rock, AR
Dear Evan,
The conflict you feel is real. It comes about because of a situation that God never intended. Para-church ministries are simply non-profit entities that purport to do the work of the church ... but they are not churches. The reason most of them really exist is because the churches aren't doing their jobs. Biblically speaking, churches are supposed to care for the sick, feed the poor, adopt the orphans, care for the widows, fight for justice, etc. So these Christian ministries are simply trying to do the job that the churches aren't doing. And that's the best case scenario.
I don't believe that Christian ministries are Biblical. There is no place in the Bible that calls for - or even allows ministries outside the church. People are supposed to tithe, and give even above the tithe ... to their church. If people were obedient to this call, the church would have a storehouse of resources with which to address these social issues.
Most Christian ministries will be up front about the fact that you need to meet your obligation to tithe to your local church before you give them any money. Donations to Christian ministries are not to come out of your tithe. So be clear on that mandate. Then, after you have tithed, consider what work these ministries are doing and prayerfully consider what support God might have you give them.
While I don't believe that Christian ministries are Biblical, my wife and I do support quite a few of them. But we don't support even a fraction of the ones that ask us for money. That's because we pray and ask God whom we should give money to and how much. He guides our giving. He should guide yours too.
What do you think of so-called "para church ministries?" We seem to have so many of them these days. And they're all asking for money. They seem to support good causes, that God would want us to care about. But frankly I have trouble with the conflict between my obligation to tithe to the church, and the need to support these worthy causes. I can't afford to do both. How then should we regard para-church ministries?
Evan P. - Little Rock, AR
Dear Evan,
The conflict you feel is real. It comes about because of a situation that God never intended. Para-church ministries are simply non-profit entities that purport to do the work of the church ... but they are not churches. The reason most of them really exist is because the churches aren't doing their jobs. Biblically speaking, churches are supposed to care for the sick, feed the poor, adopt the orphans, care for the widows, fight for justice, etc. So these Christian ministries are simply trying to do the job that the churches aren't doing. And that's the best case scenario.
I don't believe that Christian ministries are Biblical. There is no place in the Bible that calls for - or even allows ministries outside the church. People are supposed to tithe, and give even above the tithe ... to their church. If people were obedient to this call, the church would have a storehouse of resources with which to address these social issues.
Most Christian ministries will be up front about the fact that you need to meet your obligation to tithe to your local church before you give them any money. Donations to Christian ministries are not to come out of your tithe. So be clear on that mandate. Then, after you have tithed, consider what work these ministries are doing and prayerfully consider what support God might have you give them.
While I don't believe that Christian ministries are Biblical, my wife and I do support quite a few of them. But we don't support even a fraction of the ones that ask us for money. That's because we pray and ask God whom we should give money to and how much. He guides our giving. He should guide yours too.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Imporant Lesson
Dear Victorious,
If there is one lesson from the Bible that is most important, what do you think it would be?
Jason R. - Lima, OH
Dear Jason,
Gosh, there are so many important lessons in the Bible that it makes your question incredibly difficult. In fact, this may be the hardest question I've ever received! We could talk all day about what the most important lesson in the Bible is. No doubt that would be a topic of great debate even among Bible scholars. In fact, the more that someone knows the Bible, the more difficult that question might be to answer.
I suppose if I were to pick one thing though, it would really be the opportunity that we have to learn who God is. God reveals Himself to us in the Bible. Through His Word, we learn His character and His nature. We learn of His power and His love. We learn His values and priorities. We learn how He wants us to live. To my way of thinking, the Bible is a place of discovery. While it has much to say about virtually every aspect of life, it's most important message, in my opinion, is simply who God is.
If there is one lesson from the Bible that is most important, what do you think it would be?
Jason R. - Lima, OH
Dear Jason,
Gosh, there are so many important lessons in the Bible that it makes your question incredibly difficult. In fact, this may be the hardest question I've ever received! We could talk all day about what the most important lesson in the Bible is. No doubt that would be a topic of great debate even among Bible scholars. In fact, the more that someone knows the Bible, the more difficult that question might be to answer.
I suppose if I were to pick one thing though, it would really be the opportunity that we have to learn who God is. God reveals Himself to us in the Bible. Through His Word, we learn His character and His nature. We learn of His power and His love. We learn His values and priorities. We learn how He wants us to live. To my way of thinking, the Bible is a place of discovery. While it has much to say about virtually every aspect of life, it's most important message, in my opinion, is simply who God is.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Choosing A Religion
Dear Victorious,
My husband and I are recently married and want to join a good church. How do we go about finding a church whose beliefs we can agree with? How do you find a church that operates according to what you believe?
Maddy M. - Odessa, TX
Dear Maddy,
I don't believe you understand what you've just asked. Why would you want to go to a church whose beliefs you can agree with? Isn't that making a huge assumption that all of your beliefs are accurate and based on God's truth? I would much rather find a church whose doctrine is sound, whose theology is based on God's Word, and which functions as a healthy New Testament church.
Looking for churches that you agree with could lead you down a very slippery slope. People have been making up their own religions for generations. The Bible calls them fools. They only believe what they want to believe, and only do what they want to do. This is not what worshipping God or making Him Lord of your life look like.
The right church for you would be a church with appropriate doctrine and theology (i.e., Bible-based) and one which operates true to its own doctrine and theology.
My husband and I are recently married and want to join a good church. How do we go about finding a church whose beliefs we can agree with? How do you find a church that operates according to what you believe?
Maddy M. - Odessa, TX
Dear Maddy,
I don't believe you understand what you've just asked. Why would you want to go to a church whose beliefs you can agree with? Isn't that making a huge assumption that all of your beliefs are accurate and based on God's truth? I would much rather find a church whose doctrine is sound, whose theology is based on God's Word, and which functions as a healthy New Testament church.
Looking for churches that you agree with could lead you down a very slippery slope. People have been making up their own religions for generations. The Bible calls them fools. They only believe what they want to believe, and only do what they want to do. This is not what worshipping God or making Him Lord of your life look like.
The right church for you would be a church with appropriate doctrine and theology (i.e., Bible-based) and one which operates true to its own doctrine and theology.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Job Hunting
Dear Victorious,
I have been unemployed for several months. It is extremely frustrating to knock yourself out looking for a job. Sometimes I just feel exhausted and angry with God because of my situation. Don't get me wrong, I'm collecting unemployment and living off of savings, so we're not about to be homeless or anything. Still, I need to find a job. Is there a spiritual perspective on unemployment that Christians should consider? If so, how do I go about a "Christian job search?"
Timon D. - Palo Alto, CA
Dear Timon,
Yes, there is always a spiritual dimension to everything in life -- and Christians should have a proper regard for that. Here's something to consider. Maybe it's not Biblical to be in job hunt mode all the time. The fact that you're so focused on finding a job - and getting frustrated and angry with God suggests that you may have the wrong perspectives on this.
What are the right perspectives to have when a Christ-follower is unemployed? For starters, God is your provision. Your career is not. Your employer is not. He fed the Israelites daily as they wandered in the desert with no jobs. He is capable of feeding you. So you must put your trust in God. You must not put your trust in employers, the government, your unemployment benefits, etc.
It is God's responsibility to provide you with your next job. It is your responsibility to wait upon the Lord, and respond to Him appropriately. But even before that, it is your responsibility to seek Him first in all that you do (Matthew 6:33). And when you are actually seeking Him first, you will find that all your needs are met in life.
I have been unemployed for several months. It is extremely frustrating to knock yourself out looking for a job. Sometimes I just feel exhausted and angry with God because of my situation. Don't get me wrong, I'm collecting unemployment and living off of savings, so we're not about to be homeless or anything. Still, I need to find a job. Is there a spiritual perspective on unemployment that Christians should consider? If so, how do I go about a "Christian job search?"
Timon D. - Palo Alto, CA
Dear Timon,
Yes, there is always a spiritual dimension to everything in life -- and Christians should have a proper regard for that. Here's something to consider. Maybe it's not Biblical to be in job hunt mode all the time. The fact that you're so focused on finding a job - and getting frustrated and angry with God suggests that you may have the wrong perspectives on this.
What are the right perspectives to have when a Christ-follower is unemployed? For starters, God is your provision. Your career is not. Your employer is not. He fed the Israelites daily as they wandered in the desert with no jobs. He is capable of feeding you. So you must put your trust in God. You must not put your trust in employers, the government, your unemployment benefits, etc.
It is God's responsibility to provide you with your next job. It is your responsibility to wait upon the Lord, and respond to Him appropriately. But even before that, it is your responsibility to seek Him first in all that you do (Matthew 6:33). And when you are actually seeking Him first, you will find that all your needs are met in life.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Depression
Dear Victorious,
Is it okay for Christians to take medication for depression? I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and the doctor has put me on prescription medication for that. He says that I have a chemical imbalance which causes it, and that the medication simply corrects that. Is this Biblical? I've always thought that people who are right with God don't suffer from depression.
Nora A. - Bloomington, MN
Dear Nora,
Yes, it is okay for Christians to take prescription drugs for depression or any other reason that a doctor would prescribe such drugs. Medication can be a wonderful blessing from God. We should view all prescription (or over-the-counter) drugs as blessings from God.
That said, Christians should not abuse God's blessings. We should not be taking prescription drugs when we don't need them. If you suspect that yours may not be needed or that the medical diagnosis you have may not be accurate, then you owe it to yourself to get a second opinion. Think of it as being a good steward of your own health and your own health care.
2 Timothy 1:7 says that God has given His people the spirit of a sound mind. What this means is that people who are right with God have all they need mentally to live for Him, according to His ways. We're focused on truth, and are not distracted by fear or faulty thinking.
So there is a Biblical basis for thinking that Christians shouldn't need medication for depression. However, if a professional is giving you that diagnosis, the proper response would be to ask yourself why --- instead of just denying that it's true. You may need, for example, to take medication until you can address the spiritual causes of the depression. And that would be Biblical.
Is it okay for Christians to take medication for depression? I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and the doctor has put me on prescription medication for that. He says that I have a chemical imbalance which causes it, and that the medication simply corrects that. Is this Biblical? I've always thought that people who are right with God don't suffer from depression.
Nora A. - Bloomington, MN
Dear Nora,
Yes, it is okay for Christians to take prescription drugs for depression or any other reason that a doctor would prescribe such drugs. Medication can be a wonderful blessing from God. We should view all prescription (or over-the-counter) drugs as blessings from God.
That said, Christians should not abuse God's blessings. We should not be taking prescription drugs when we don't need them. If you suspect that yours may not be needed or that the medical diagnosis you have may not be accurate, then you owe it to yourself to get a second opinion. Think of it as being a good steward of your own health and your own health care.
2 Timothy 1:7 says that God has given His people the spirit of a sound mind. What this means is that people who are right with God have all they need mentally to live for Him, according to His ways. We're focused on truth, and are not distracted by fear or faulty thinking.
So there is a Biblical basis for thinking that Christians shouldn't need medication for depression. However, if a professional is giving you that diagnosis, the proper response would be to ask yourself why --- instead of just denying that it's true. You may need, for example, to take medication until you can address the spiritual causes of the depression. And that would be Biblical.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Rejoice in Suffering
Dear Victorious,
I participate in a Bible study that is using a study guide for Romans. (We meet for breakfast once each week.) This past week, we got into quite a discussion about what Paul says in Romans 5:3-5, about "rejoicing in our suffering." What exactly did Paul mean by that? Most of us can't imagine ourselves rejoicing in our suffering. Is that really what we're supposed to do?
Lawrence P. - Frisco, TX
Dear Lawrence,
Paul could have meant many things when he discussed "rejoicing in our suffering." But the most obvious meaning is also the most important. Paul didn't want us to dismiss the value of suffering. It is human to want to avoid suffering at all costs. It is human to view all suffering as bad. But such a disposition toward suffering ignores the reality that suffering is not without benefits (albeit most of them long term).
It has been said that suffering is the training ground for spiritual maturity. Put another way, those who have suffered much tend to acquire a great deal of maturity in the process. Suffering has a way of quieting our spirits, getting us focused on what really matters and discarding the chafe in our thinking. That's not to say that those who haven't suffered can't be spiritually mature. But it is to say that suffering and maturity tend to go hand in hand.
There is another dimension of suffering's benefit too. It is the benefit that others might derive from my suffering. Too often we think of our suffering as being all about us. It isn't. Look at Job in the Old Testament, for example. He suffered greatly. But there was a purpose to his suffering that hasn't even been completely accomplished yet. People today are still learning from Job's suffering. Of course Jesus' suffering is another example. His suffering wasn't about Him. It was about us. We were the beneficiaries of Jesus' suffering. Here's the thing, the purpose of your suffering today may be to teach something to someone who is watching your suffering. Did you ever consider that?
I don't think Paul expected us to literally rejoice in our suffering. But I do think he wanted us to recognize the inherent value that suffering produces. And he wanted us to realize that this value is not otherwise accessible. Put another way, Paul wanted us to know that suffering, while painful, gives us access to benefits and value that we would otherwise never know. God is a very purpose-driven Lord. He wouldn't allow His people to suffer if there wasn't a purpose to that suffering. In that, we truly can rejoice.
I participate in a Bible study that is using a study guide for Romans. (We meet for breakfast once each week.) This past week, we got into quite a discussion about what Paul says in Romans 5:3-5, about "rejoicing in our suffering." What exactly did Paul mean by that? Most of us can't imagine ourselves rejoicing in our suffering. Is that really what we're supposed to do?
Lawrence P. - Frisco, TX
Dear Lawrence,
Paul could have meant many things when he discussed "rejoicing in our suffering." But the most obvious meaning is also the most important. Paul didn't want us to dismiss the value of suffering. It is human to want to avoid suffering at all costs. It is human to view all suffering as bad. But such a disposition toward suffering ignores the reality that suffering is not without benefits (albeit most of them long term).
It has been said that suffering is the training ground for spiritual maturity. Put another way, those who have suffered much tend to acquire a great deal of maturity in the process. Suffering has a way of quieting our spirits, getting us focused on what really matters and discarding the chafe in our thinking. That's not to say that those who haven't suffered can't be spiritually mature. But it is to say that suffering and maturity tend to go hand in hand.
There is another dimension of suffering's benefit too. It is the benefit that others might derive from my suffering. Too often we think of our suffering as being all about us. It isn't. Look at Job in the Old Testament, for example. He suffered greatly. But there was a purpose to his suffering that hasn't even been completely accomplished yet. People today are still learning from Job's suffering. Of course Jesus' suffering is another example. His suffering wasn't about Him. It was about us. We were the beneficiaries of Jesus' suffering. Here's the thing, the purpose of your suffering today may be to teach something to someone who is watching your suffering. Did you ever consider that?
I don't think Paul expected us to literally rejoice in our suffering. But I do think he wanted us to recognize the inherent value that suffering produces. And he wanted us to realize that this value is not otherwise accessible. Put another way, Paul wanted us to know that suffering, while painful, gives us access to benefits and value that we would otherwise never know. God is a very purpose-driven Lord. He wouldn't allow His people to suffer if there wasn't a purpose to that suffering. In that, we truly can rejoice.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Disciple Powers
Dear Victorious,
Our preacher has been talking about what it looks like to be a disciple of Christ. Specifically, he points to Matthew 10:8 as being our mandate to "heal the sick, raise the dead and cast out demons." But this was when Jesus sent out his original disciples. Isn't it just a bit unrealistic to expect people today to carry out such acts? In fact, I would argue that these were simply Jesus' instructions to those original disciples. Am I right? I know people today can't actually perform these acts, but I suspect it's okay because God doesn't expect us to.
Steven B. - Wichita, KS
Dear Steven,
No, I don't believe you are right. One of the things we have to look at with any Scripture is how it may correlate to the rest of Scripture. So, for example, you can cite Matthew 10:8 as being specifically Jesus' instructions to those original disciples. But you'd have to consider what else Scripture has to say and how it may correspond to what He said here (in Matthew 10:8).
Look at Mark 16:17-18, where Jesus said, "And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly person, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." Notice that Jesus isn't making this a condition of being one of His disciples. Rather He is point to it as evidence of the fact the someone is one of His disciples.
We aren't used to seeing such miracles today because we aren't used to seeing such people of faith today. Remember who the original disciples were. They left everything they had to follow Jesus. And they followed Him so diligently that most were martyred for their faith. When we have such people in the world today, I would argue that they will be fully capable of these kinds of miracles. But they must first be capable of that kind of faith.
Our preacher has been talking about what it looks like to be a disciple of Christ. Specifically, he points to Matthew 10:8 as being our mandate to "heal the sick, raise the dead and cast out demons." But this was when Jesus sent out his original disciples. Isn't it just a bit unrealistic to expect people today to carry out such acts? In fact, I would argue that these were simply Jesus' instructions to those original disciples. Am I right? I know people today can't actually perform these acts, but I suspect it's okay because God doesn't expect us to.
Steven B. - Wichita, KS
Dear Steven,
No, I don't believe you are right. One of the things we have to look at with any Scripture is how it may correlate to the rest of Scripture. So, for example, you can cite Matthew 10:8 as being specifically Jesus' instructions to those original disciples. But you'd have to consider what else Scripture has to say and how it may correspond to what He said here (in Matthew 10:8).
Look at Mark 16:17-18, where Jesus said, "And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly person, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." Notice that Jesus isn't making this a condition of being one of His disciples. Rather He is point to it as evidence of the fact the someone is one of His disciples.
We aren't used to seeing such miracles today because we aren't used to seeing such people of faith today. Remember who the original disciples were. They left everything they had to follow Jesus. And they followed Him so diligently that most were martyred for their faith. When we have such people in the world today, I would argue that they will be fully capable of these kinds of miracles. But they must first be capable of that kind of faith.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Bible Believing
Dear Victorious,
I've read your blogs enough to know that you believe the Bible is entirely true. In fact, you seem to base all your conclusions in life on whatever the Bible has to say. I'm not going to challenge that, but seriously - aren't there things in the Bible that even you have trouble believing?
Charles C. - Baton Rouge, LA
Dear Charles,
There are things in the Bible that I find phenomenal or remarkable. Do they challenge my faith? I'm not sure they do. Believing or not believing are not choices I can make. I've said before that belief - or disbelief - overwhelm me and I don't have the power to reject them based on what I know, see or can confirm.
That being said, there are plenty of things in the Bible that I don't understand. But that's not to say I don't believe them. I just find them to be so counter to what I know or can confirm that they leave me dumbfounded as to how they can be true. An example might be Jonah living in the belly of a whale for three days, and then being spit out on the beach. I don't understand how that could have happened.
Another example might be how the Red Sea parted for the Israelites to cross. What we know about science and nature doesn't seem to explain or even support these kinds of truths. But I still accept them as true. I just hope that one day God will give me understanding as to how they are true.
I've read your blogs enough to know that you believe the Bible is entirely true. In fact, you seem to base all your conclusions in life on whatever the Bible has to say. I'm not going to challenge that, but seriously - aren't there things in the Bible that even you have trouble believing?
Charles C. - Baton Rouge, LA
Dear Charles,
There are things in the Bible that I find phenomenal or remarkable. Do they challenge my faith? I'm not sure they do. Believing or not believing are not choices I can make. I've said before that belief - or disbelief - overwhelm me and I don't have the power to reject them based on what I know, see or can confirm.
That being said, there are plenty of things in the Bible that I don't understand. But that's not to say I don't believe them. I just find them to be so counter to what I know or can confirm that they leave me dumbfounded as to how they can be true. An example might be Jonah living in the belly of a whale for three days, and then being spit out on the beach. I don't understand how that could have happened.
Another example might be how the Red Sea parted for the Israelites to cross. What we know about science and nature doesn't seem to explain or even support these kinds of truths. But I still accept them as true. I just hope that one day God will give me understanding as to how they are true.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Elana Kagan
Dear Victorious,
It is distressing to see leaders being appointed in Washington who don't share our values. Clearly these people are now in positions to lead our country astray. How should Christians respond?
Mary C. - Kissimmee, FL
Dear Mary,
It's true that many of our government leaders (at all levels) are not the kind of people we really want to see in government. Nevertheless, the Bible reminds us that God is in control and those individuals don't get appointed (or elected) without His consent - at a minimum. Moreover, the Bible is clear that we honor God with our response to these individuals.
First, we pray for them. Pray that they will have a change of heart and be drawn close to God. Pray that they will have discernment and wisdom to make better decisions. Pray that God's hand of protection will be on them throughout their term.
Second, submit to and honor our government leaders. You don't have to agree with them or their positions in order to be able to submit to them or show respect for them and the offices they hold. It pleases and honors God when submit ourselves and obey our government leaders.
Finally, let's not confuse political activism with Christian leadership. The two are distinctly different. There are far too many Christians today who behave in unChristlike ways --- and justify their bad behavior with the wrongness of someone else's position. We must not do that. Even when we don't agree with someone or something, we need to consider what Jesus would do. And then we need to do that.
It is distressing to see leaders being appointed in Washington who don't share our values. Clearly these people are now in positions to lead our country astray. How should Christians respond?
Mary C. - Kissimmee, FL
Dear Mary,
It's true that many of our government leaders (at all levels) are not the kind of people we really want to see in government. Nevertheless, the Bible reminds us that God is in control and those individuals don't get appointed (or elected) without His consent - at a minimum. Moreover, the Bible is clear that we honor God with our response to these individuals.
First, we pray for them. Pray that they will have a change of heart and be drawn close to God. Pray that they will have discernment and wisdom to make better decisions. Pray that God's hand of protection will be on them throughout their term.
Second, submit to and honor our government leaders. You don't have to agree with them or their positions in order to be able to submit to them or show respect for them and the offices they hold. It pleases and honors God when submit ourselves and obey our government leaders.
Finally, let's not confuse political activism with Christian leadership. The two are distinctly different. There are far too many Christians today who behave in unChristlike ways --- and justify their bad behavior with the wrongness of someone else's position. We must not do that. Even when we don't agree with someone or something, we need to consider what Jesus would do. And then we need to do that.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Wholesome Porn
Dear Victorious,
The Christian world, and society in general, seems to have taken the position that pornography is always bad. Quite honestly, I've seen some tasteful porn. Do you think there's room for tasteful pornography, enjoyed in the privacy on one's own home, in the context of a committed, healthy marriage?
Peter V. - Scottsdale, AZ
Dear Peter,
You're making an assumption that your definition of "tasteful" pornography is accurate and agreed upon by others. That you believe there can be such a thing as pornography that is "tasteful" says much about where you're coming from. Objectifying the human body, focuses on body parts --- instead of whole individuals --- is not a godly way to express sexuality.
You can call it tasteful, but that doesn't make it righteous or godly. Philippians 4:8 tells us to focus ourselves on things that are "excellent and worthy of praise." But you're taking something that you don't find so offensive and trying to place it in that category of things that are excellent and worthy of praise. I don't believe Christianity will go there with you.
The world has a poor definition of what sexuality is. Consequently, we have no concept of what godly sexuality is. I think any reasonable Bible scholar will tell you that there is no room for pornography in God-honoring relationships. Period. (And I would agree with that conclusion!)
The Christian world, and society in general, seems to have taken the position that pornography is always bad. Quite honestly, I've seen some tasteful porn. Do you think there's room for tasteful pornography, enjoyed in the privacy on one's own home, in the context of a committed, healthy marriage?
Peter V. - Scottsdale, AZ
Dear Peter,
You're making an assumption that your definition of "tasteful" pornography is accurate and agreed upon by others. That you believe there can be such a thing as pornography that is "tasteful" says much about where you're coming from. Objectifying the human body, focuses on body parts --- instead of whole individuals --- is not a godly way to express sexuality.
You can call it tasteful, but that doesn't make it righteous or godly. Philippians 4:8 tells us to focus ourselves on things that are "excellent and worthy of praise." But you're taking something that you don't find so offensive and trying to place it in that category of things that are excellent and worthy of praise. I don't believe Christianity will go there with you.
The world has a poor definition of what sexuality is. Consequently, we have no concept of what godly sexuality is. I think any reasonable Bible scholar will tell you that there is no room for pornography in God-honoring relationships. Period. (And I would agree with that conclusion!)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Philanthropy
Dear Victorious,
I saw that you waded into the foray of billionaires pledging to give half of their wealth to charity. So I get that you don't think this is really impressive because it's not really generous. You said, if I understand you correctly, that it would have to hurt before anyone's giving could be considered generous. Just suppose for a the sake of argument, that the world agrees with you. Then what would change the world? If not the social causes that philanthropists support, how could we successfully address social issues in the world today?
Marvin T. - Dallas, TX
Dear Marvin,
That's just it. I don't believe social problems can be solved with money. They can't be solved with influence either. They need to be solved with Biblical love. We seem to get confused and think that because someone gives money or time to a cause, that they care about it.
The Bible says we are to love our neighbor as we ourselves would like to be loved. We know that corruption, inefficiency and poor organization can overwhelm all the money in the world ... and render it ineffective in helping anyone. So frankly, if I'm starving, I don't just want someone to throw money at me. Rather take me in your home, love on me, enter into a deep relationship with me. Care for me. Nurture me. Feed me. Teach me. Disciple me. That is how I would like to be loved. I don't just want money to buy food.
Like I said (in my main blog) the other day, the world seriously needs to take a hard look at how we define philanthropy. In fact, I propose that we do away with philanthropy. It would be better if become lovers of others than great philanthropists.
I saw that you waded into the foray of billionaires pledging to give half of their wealth to charity. So I get that you don't think this is really impressive because it's not really generous. You said, if I understand you correctly, that it would have to hurt before anyone's giving could be considered generous. Just suppose for a the sake of argument, that the world agrees with you. Then what would change the world? If not the social causes that philanthropists support, how could we successfully address social issues in the world today?
Marvin T. - Dallas, TX
Dear Marvin,
That's just it. I don't believe social problems can be solved with money. They can't be solved with influence either. They need to be solved with Biblical love. We seem to get confused and think that because someone gives money or time to a cause, that they care about it.
The Bible says we are to love our neighbor as we ourselves would like to be loved. We know that corruption, inefficiency and poor organization can overwhelm all the money in the world ... and render it ineffective in helping anyone. So frankly, if I'm starving, I don't just want someone to throw money at me. Rather take me in your home, love on me, enter into a deep relationship with me. Care for me. Nurture me. Feed me. Teach me. Disciple me. That is how I would like to be loved. I don't just want money to buy food.
Like I said (in my main blog) the other day, the world seriously needs to take a hard look at how we define philanthropy. In fact, I propose that we do away with philanthropy. It would be better if become lovers of others than great philanthropists.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Rich People in Heaven
Dear Victorious,
When Jesus said that it would be easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven, what exactly did He mean by that? I can't believe that God would hold someone's wealth against them and prevent them from entering heaven just because they're rich!
Keith C. - Tampa, FL
Dear Keith,
You shouldn't believe that God would hold someone's wealth against them. He wouldn't. After all, He is the source of our wealth. What Jesus was saying though is that rich people have a tendency to let money get out of its proper perspective. And when they do, they become controlled by their money. They have an improper regard for the money. Consequently, they have also have an improper regard for God. This is what keeps them from getting into heaven.
It isn't a sin to be wealthy. But it is a sin to rely on your wealth, be proud of your wealth, be selfish with your wealth, think that you deserve your wealth, be blinded to the truth by your wealth, ignore God and His ways in favor of your wealth, etc. And sin that isn't dealt with (i.e., repented of) is what keeps mankind from seeing heaven.
When Jesus said that it would be easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven, what exactly did He mean by that? I can't believe that God would hold someone's wealth against them and prevent them from entering heaven just because they're rich!
Keith C. - Tampa, FL
Dear Keith,
You shouldn't believe that God would hold someone's wealth against them. He wouldn't. After all, He is the source of our wealth. What Jesus was saying though is that rich people have a tendency to let money get out of its proper perspective. And when they do, they become controlled by their money. They have an improper regard for the money. Consequently, they have also have an improper regard for God. This is what keeps them from getting into heaven.
It isn't a sin to be wealthy. But it is a sin to rely on your wealth, be proud of your wealth, be selfish with your wealth, think that you deserve your wealth, be blinded to the truth by your wealth, ignore God and His ways in favor of your wealth, etc. And sin that isn't dealt with (i.e., repented of) is what keeps mankind from seeing heaven.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Sex & Money
Dear Victorious,
We've been seeing a marriage counselor for a few months now, and she tells us that whatever is wrong in the marriage, it can almost always be traced back to sex or money (or both). Would you agree with this? If so, why?
Carter G. - Dothan AL
Dear Carter,
I'm not a licensed, professional counselor - so I probably don't have the insight or the academic knowledge that such a professional would have. As a pastor who counsels though, my own experience probably takes it to a different level. Sex or money may be the topics that broken marriages seem to be focused on. However, I believe there is usually a higher truth that's at the root of the problem.
People get married for all kinds of reasons. Some of those reasons aren't good. For example, they may simply be tired of living alone. They may have unrealistic expectations. Their core values in life may not be aligned. These kinds of issues will manifest themselves in sex and/or money. But they aren't the same as sex or money.
Take sex, for example. At its core probably lies the issue of selfishness. Or take money. At its core probably lies the issue of greed. In such a context, I don't believe the problem with the marriage is either sex or money. Rather the issue is the selfishness and greed. So perhaps it's just the sex and money that tend to highlight or expose the real issue.
We've been seeing a marriage counselor for a few months now, and she tells us that whatever is wrong in the marriage, it can almost always be traced back to sex or money (or both). Would you agree with this? If so, why?
Carter G. - Dothan AL
Dear Carter,
I'm not a licensed, professional counselor - so I probably don't have the insight or the academic knowledge that such a professional would have. As a pastor who counsels though, my own experience probably takes it to a different level. Sex or money may be the topics that broken marriages seem to be focused on. However, I believe there is usually a higher truth that's at the root of the problem.
People get married for all kinds of reasons. Some of those reasons aren't good. For example, they may simply be tired of living alone. They may have unrealistic expectations. Their core values in life may not be aligned. These kinds of issues will manifest themselves in sex and/or money. But they aren't the same as sex or money.
Take sex, for example. At its core probably lies the issue of selfishness. Or take money. At its core probably lies the issue of greed. In such a context, I don't believe the problem with the marriage is either sex or money. Rather the issue is the selfishness and greed. So perhaps it's just the sex and money that tend to highlight or expose the real issue.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Aging Gracefully
Dear Victorious,
I've heard it said that people can age "gracefully," or grow old gracefully. That sounds like a good thing to do. But can people really pick how they mature in life? I mean, how would one go about choosing this so-called graceful aging process?
Marietta L. - Mt. Lebanon, PA
Dear Marietta,
The aging process is a difficult one. I don't know of a single individual who enjoys getting old, seeing their bodies fail, knowing their minds may fail, or passing through stages of being able to do what they want. Most of us are not physically able, for example, to do the things we were physically able to do in our youth. This process of aging gracefully really just means that we take those changes in our stride. We let them humble us ... but not frustrate us.
The Apostle Paul said, "... I have learned to be content in all circumstances." (Philippians 4:11) What this means is that he found the solace of Christ Jesus to be sufficient for whatever challenges he had in his everyday circumstances. I believe that is the secret to growing old gracefully. You don't deny the unfortunate changes that come with the aging process. But you don't fear them either. You don't have to appreciate the things you give up or lose --- but you don't have to be frustrated by it either.
Those who grow old gracefully are comfortable in their own skin. They also are confident that the eternal life they have and are moving toward in Christ is more than a fair trade for the things they may be moving away from (i.e., physical agility, mental capacity, etc.).
I've heard it said that people can age "gracefully," or grow old gracefully. That sounds like a good thing to do. But can people really pick how they mature in life? I mean, how would one go about choosing this so-called graceful aging process?
Marietta L. - Mt. Lebanon, PA
Dear Marietta,
The aging process is a difficult one. I don't know of a single individual who enjoys getting old, seeing their bodies fail, knowing their minds may fail, or passing through stages of being able to do what they want. Most of us are not physically able, for example, to do the things we were physically able to do in our youth. This process of aging gracefully really just means that we take those changes in our stride. We let them humble us ... but not frustrate us.
The Apostle Paul said, "... I have learned to be content in all circumstances." (Philippians 4:11) What this means is that he found the solace of Christ Jesus to be sufficient for whatever challenges he had in his everyday circumstances. I believe that is the secret to growing old gracefully. You don't deny the unfortunate changes that come with the aging process. But you don't fear them either. You don't have to appreciate the things you give up or lose --- but you don't have to be frustrated by it either.
Those who grow old gracefully are comfortable in their own skin. They also are confident that the eternal life they have and are moving toward in Christ is more than a fair trade for the things they may be moving away from (i.e., physical agility, mental capacity, etc.).
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Globalization
Dear Victorious,
Do you think that globalization is Biblical? It seems that the goods we buy are all produced somewhere else. And the services that we receive also come from so many other places. Sometimes I wonder if there isn't an ethical or moral dilemma being presented here. What's the truth?
Angela M. - Dallas, TX
Dear Angela,
I believe it's a good question to ask. Unfortunately there are no easy answers. Certainly there are a number of Biblical principles to guide our thinking here. One that comes to mind is the mandate to pay people fair wage for their work. Another is the mandate to not be unequally yoked with people who don't share our faith and our values (i.e., our God).
So from my point of view, globalization has a couple of problems. Much of the manufacturing and services we obtain are from very poor countries - and the work we hire them to do is paid at significantly lower wages than we'd otherwise pay. Overlapping some of those countries, we have trading partners who don't share our God or our values. So the poor countries like India, China and Mexico would be in the first category. In the latter category would be India, China, Russia, Mexico, Venezuela, Saudi Arabia, etc.
God told the Israelites to make no treaties with such people and to do no business with them. This is precisely how we've pursued globalization - making treaties with and doing business with people who don't share our values or our God. Even when they do, we tend to exploit their poverty. Neither seems like a very righteous choice from my perspective.
Do you think that globalization is Biblical? It seems that the goods we buy are all produced somewhere else. And the services that we receive also come from so many other places. Sometimes I wonder if there isn't an ethical or moral dilemma being presented here. What's the truth?
Angela M. - Dallas, TX
Dear Angela,
I believe it's a good question to ask. Unfortunately there are no easy answers. Certainly there are a number of Biblical principles to guide our thinking here. One that comes to mind is the mandate to pay people fair wage for their work. Another is the mandate to not be unequally yoked with people who don't share our faith and our values (i.e., our God).
So from my point of view, globalization has a couple of problems. Much of the manufacturing and services we obtain are from very poor countries - and the work we hire them to do is paid at significantly lower wages than we'd otherwise pay. Overlapping some of those countries, we have trading partners who don't share our God or our values. So the poor countries like India, China and Mexico would be in the first category. In the latter category would be India, China, Russia, Mexico, Venezuela, Saudi Arabia, etc.
God told the Israelites to make no treaties with such people and to do no business with them. This is precisely how we've pursued globalization - making treaties with and doing business with people who don't share our values or our God. Even when they do, we tend to exploit their poverty. Neither seems like a very righteous choice from my perspective.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Ministry of Manners
Dear Conqeror,
I'm in my forties and am appalled to how men of all generations seem to disregard some common courtesies with woman. Holding the door for women and allowing them to enter first would be a good start. Or how about giving up their seat on a bus or at an event when there aren't enough seats to go around and women are fading. What's up with this? Am I out of touch, or is this rude?
Jennie L. - King of Prussia, PA
Dear Jennie,
No, I don't think you're out of touch. Our society may accept it and even argue that the women are capable of standing or opening doors for themselves. Apparently society has reduced the decision criteria down to physical ability or fair entitlement. Of course these would never be appropriate criteria for Christians. The simple Biblical concept that applies here is simply "love your neighbor as (your) yourself (would like to be loved)."
Real mean still open doors for and give up their seats for the women in the crowd. Those who are ignorant or indifferent won't.
I'm in my forties and am appalled to how men of all generations seem to disregard some common courtesies with woman. Holding the door for women and allowing them to enter first would be a good start. Or how about giving up their seat on a bus or at an event when there aren't enough seats to go around and women are fading. What's up with this? Am I out of touch, or is this rude?
Jennie L. - King of Prussia, PA
Dear Jennie,
No, I don't think you're out of touch. Our society may accept it and even argue that the women are capable of standing or opening doors for themselves. Apparently society has reduced the decision criteria down to physical ability or fair entitlement. Of course these would never be appropriate criteria for Christians. The simple Biblical concept that applies here is simply "love your neighbor as (your) yourself (would like to be loved)."
Real mean still open doors for and give up their seats for the women in the crowd. Those who are ignorant or indifferent won't.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Ascension To Heaven
Dear Victorious,
I've been in a Bible study at my church that's looked at Jesus' death and resurrection. I understand that He ascended into heaven. But wasn't this really just a spiritual ascension? Wasn't His resurrected body just a spirit that people could see? I don't see how a true physical body could just disappear from the face of the earth.
Estelle N. - Conroe, TX
Dear Estelle,
Part of the miracle of Jesus' resurrection is that it was a full body resurrection. It was not just His spirit that was walking around, witnessed by more than 500 people. The Bible tells us the the disciples touched Him, ate with Him, etc. So He had a physical body in the flesh. And that is what ascended into heaven.
Ironically, Jesus' ascension to heaven was not the first time a physical body ascended directly to heaven. Enoch was taken to heaven in bodily form without actually dying here on earth. (Genesis 5:21-24). Then Elijah was taken to heaven in bodily form without dying here on earth. (2 Kings 2:11)
What made Jesus different from Enoch and Elijah was that He actually did go through a human death experience here on earth. Then Jesus was resurrected (i.e., brought back to life) in the same human body. Later, after hundreds of people had seen and talked and fellowshipped with Him in His resurrection, He too ascended into heaven without dying.
If we could understand how this occurred, it wouldn't really be a miracle.
I've been in a Bible study at my church that's looked at Jesus' death and resurrection. I understand that He ascended into heaven. But wasn't this really just a spiritual ascension? Wasn't His resurrected body just a spirit that people could see? I don't see how a true physical body could just disappear from the face of the earth.
Estelle N. - Conroe, TX
Dear Estelle,
Part of the miracle of Jesus' resurrection is that it was a full body resurrection. It was not just His spirit that was walking around, witnessed by more than 500 people. The Bible tells us the the disciples touched Him, ate with Him, etc. So He had a physical body in the flesh. And that is what ascended into heaven.
Ironically, Jesus' ascension to heaven was not the first time a physical body ascended directly to heaven. Enoch was taken to heaven in bodily form without actually dying here on earth. (Genesis 5:21-24). Then Elijah was taken to heaven in bodily form without dying here on earth. (2 Kings 2:11)
What made Jesus different from Enoch and Elijah was that He actually did go through a human death experience here on earth. Then Jesus was resurrected (i.e., brought back to life) in the same human body. Later, after hundreds of people had seen and talked and fellowshipped with Him in His resurrection, He too ascended into heaven without dying.
If we could understand how this occurred, it wouldn't really be a miracle.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
