True Love

Dear Victorious,

I know you've written about love in the past and even answered letters about it. But I haven' seen you address my question. How do I know if someone really and truly loves me?

Lashonda R. - Tulsa, OK

Dear Lashonda,

The first thing you need to understand about love is that it is not a feeling. If someone makes you feel passionate and excited, that is not a sign of love. It could accompany love. But on its own, feelings and emotions are not love.

1 Corinthians 13, as well as other Scriptures give us wonderful insight into what love is. Love has many characteristics. And all of them must be discovered and proven over time. Love stands the test of time.

So what does love look like and how would you recognize it? Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record or account of how you've wronged or offended it. Love is quick to forgive. In fact, love is generous with forgiveness - offering it even when forgiveness isn't deserved. Love makes sacrifices. It makes personal sacrifices ... setting aside its own will to accommodate or please you. Love is accepting, never judgmental. Love is a good listener. If you find these things - and they stand the test of time, then there is a good chance you've found true love.

But there is one other thing you must consider. You must ask yourself if YOU are love. Do I love this person, whom I wonder about loving me? Do you offer them all of the things I just said above? Have you asked God to help you love them more effectively? Are you willing to do what love requires? And will your love for them stand the test of time?

You see, that's the thing about love. It is a two-way street. So the question isn't just whether or not you can tell if someone loves you. Perhaps the better question that is more important to answer is whether you are prepared to love them.