Friendship

Dear Victor,

How do I know if someone is a true friend?

Jose G. - San Marcos, TX

Dear Jose,

I suppose that the greatest evidence of friendship is loyalty. If we look at 1 Corinthians 13 and its definitions of love, we see all of love defined in virtuous acts towards another. They add up to being available for someone --- to help in times of trouble, to embrace when I needed it, to accept me, to forgive me, to guide me, etc. The truest friend I can imagine would be the one who knows the very worst that there is to be known about me ... and decides to love and stick by me anyway.

Having said this though, let me encourage you not to try and figure out who your true friends are. That's just passing how they treat you through the love and friendship filter. A more valiant effort would be to pass yourself and your behavior towards others through that filter. To whom are you a true friend? To whom do you behave in these ways? That is a much better question to answer!