Art of Persuasion?

Dear Victorious,

How do you win people over? Isn't there a place for persuasion, salesmanship, convincing, etc.? Somehow it seems that we need to get someone to see things our way. But it feels manipulative and perhaps even wrong. Is it?

Arnold H. - St. Paul, MN

Dear Arnold,

Well, on the surface it's not necessarily wrong to try and sell someone something. But there are two factors that need to be considered. The first is the biblical mandate to love your neighbor as you would want to be loved yourself. The second is more pragmatic and simply questions what is more effective. Ironically, this latter one can benefit from biblical wisdom as well.

Is your communication really manipulative? If so, then you aren't loving the other party as you would want to be loved yourself. That makes it sin. On the other hand, if it's simply marketing, having a debate or offering an opinion, you're still on solid ground. It's a slippery slope though, so check your motives. Your motives will help reveal whether or not you've moved from marketing or lobbying to manipulation and deception.

What is the most effective way to "sell?" Usually it is by simply presenting the facts - and letting the facts speak for themselves. This would be true in the scenario you've described. When I am not on the same page with someone, the best effort is not to try and persuade them to come over to my side. I find it is far more effective to simply offer them the facts. I also find it helpful to be willing to at least consider the possibility that I may be wrong.