Rude People

Dear Victorious,

I know the Bible tells us to love our enemies, turn the other cheek, forgive seventy times seven and all that. But what about rude people? I'm talking about people who are blatantly offensive and know it - but don't care. What are we to do with them?

Danielle M. - Martins Ferry, OH

Dear Danielle,

You may not like this answer, but we're to treat rude people the same as we'd treat anyone else. That doesn't mean we have to be a door mat and allow them to continue to offend us. Loving someone as you would like to be loved, forgiving them seventy times seven, showing them grace and all that other virtuous stuff are not mutually exclusive with drawing firm boundaries. So you can, for example, speak the truth in love to such people. You can draw firm boundaries and inform them of the offense ... as well as your intent not to continue allowing them to offend you. You can love someone without spending time with them. In other words, we can ask people to live up to our own standards for living. If they refuse, then we are under no obligation to share our time with them. One way I like to think of this is to imagine myself saying to them, "My love for you is unconditional ... but my time is not."