Good Friendships

Dear Victorious,

I often have trouble making and keeping good friends. What do you believe sustains great friendships?

Doreen G. - Morristown, NJ

Dear Doreen,

I am no expert when it comes to friendships. However, I believe that whatever sustains great friendships is probably very similar to what sustains any great relationships. Sacrificial love for one another, plentiful amounts of forgiveness, and a healthy dose of respect and humility.

The problem that many of us face is that we go into friendships looking for whatever we might get out of it. "I enjoy his or her company," for example, sounds like an innocuous statement. But that makes it about you. A better statement might be, "I want him or her to enjoy themselves around me." Your desire to be there for them must be greater than your desire for them to be there for you.