Dear Victorious,
The BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is perhaps one of the most sobering issues we've faced in a very long time. Somehow it feels worse than other calamities. Is it?
Devlin R. - Warren, OH
Dear Devlin,
No, I don't think it's any worse than other calamities we've seen, such as earthquakes or volcanoes. It feels worse though, because of two factors.
The first factor is that it's out-of-control. We can't seem to stop it - so the damage continues on. At least with an earthquake or hurricane, the damage is over fairly quickly and mankind can start recovering. With this situation, recovery won't really ever be able to start until the damage stops happening.
The second factor is that we don't know how extensive the damage could be. At least in theory, the oil could reach the shores of the eastern U.S. coast - or even drift to other countries. What would happen if the ocean dies? Are the dispersants they're dumping into the ocean safe ... or are they creating another ecological disaster? These are serious unknowns. Again, in other disasters, we can usually assess the damage because its extent can be known.
To be sure, the BP oil disaster in the U.S. Gulf is something that the entire nature should be in prayer about. But perhaps the dimension of it that should most turn us to prayer is the fact that we don't know how to stop it and we don't know how damaging it can or will be.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Sex Life
Dear Victorious,
We've been married for 30 years now, and our sex life is all but dead. I don't really understand why either. I've taken care of myself and look good for my age. For that matter, so has my husband. He just doesn't seem interested in sex any more. Is this just how it is in mature marriages? What should we do?
Vickie D. - Lawton, OK
Dear Vickie,
I don't think this is "just how it is" in mature marriages? But consider this: the Bible never says that a couple are to be sexually active. In fact, it merely says that we are to be fruitful and multiply. Beyond that, there is no prescription for how sexually active a married couple should be (or for how long).
Now most people would consider an active sex life to be a normal part of a healthy marriage. On the other hand, there are many marriages that are healthy without an active sex life.
My advice to you would be to examine your motives. Stop concluding that the absence of an active sex life is an indication of a problem. Are you and your husband satisfied with where things are (or aren't) in that regard? What you should do is lay your sex life and your expectations at the foot of the cross. Ask in prayer what God's will for you might be in this regard. Expect Him to lead you to contentment with your circumstances --- or to lead you to different circumstances.
Certainly, you can force a sex life. A true Christ-follower will find no Biblical basis for doing so though. Instead, seek Him first.
We've been married for 30 years now, and our sex life is all but dead. I don't really understand why either. I've taken care of myself and look good for my age. For that matter, so has my husband. He just doesn't seem interested in sex any more. Is this just how it is in mature marriages? What should we do?
Vickie D. - Lawton, OK
Dear Vickie,
I don't think this is "just how it is" in mature marriages? But consider this: the Bible never says that a couple are to be sexually active. In fact, it merely says that we are to be fruitful and multiply. Beyond that, there is no prescription for how sexually active a married couple should be (or for how long).
Now most people would consider an active sex life to be a normal part of a healthy marriage. On the other hand, there are many marriages that are healthy without an active sex life.
My advice to you would be to examine your motives. Stop concluding that the absence of an active sex life is an indication of a problem. Are you and your husband satisfied with where things are (or aren't) in that regard? What you should do is lay your sex life and your expectations at the foot of the cross. Ask in prayer what God's will for you might be in this regard. Expect Him to lead you to contentment with your circumstances --- or to lead you to different circumstances.
Certainly, you can force a sex life. A true Christ-follower will find no Biblical basis for doing so though. Instead, seek Him first.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Biblical Insurance
Dear Victorious,
Talk to me about insurance. Aren't Christians supposed to trust God to take care of them? Isn't buying insurance then just a form of not trusting God?
Harry L. - Montauk, NY
Dear Harry,
That may sound logical, but it's not accurate. There are several different types of insurance to buy. But the most common are:
1. Auto Insurance (including liability and uninsured motorists)
2. Property Insurance (home and contents, renters' insurance, etc.)
3. Health Insurance (pays medical bills, provides income in disability, etc.)
4. Life Insurance (pays survivors if you die)
Of course there are other types of insurance, such as long term care insurance, extended warranties, trip cancellation, etc. But let's focus on the four (4) I've listed above, as they are the most common and the most expensive.
The Bible doesn't specifically require insurance, nor does it specifically prohibit it. But, Proverbs 27:12 tells us that, "The prudent see danger and take refuge ..." What this means is that prudent people understand the risks associated with everyday living and take precautions to mitigate those risks. So I think that's the first place to start when wondering if insurance is Biblical. Insurance is a legal, God-honoring way to mitigate known risks in life. Put another way, God wants to take care of your needs --- and He may well use insurance to do so.
But there are other Biblical principles that can be applied to certain types of insurance. Two specifically come to mind.
The first is the law of "loving others as you would like to be loved." (Matthew 24:39, Mark 12:31) Look at this one in the context of two real-life scenarios. You become sick or injured and must be hospitalized for expensive treatment. This happens all too often. With adequate insurance, you are making sure that those who treat you and provide for your medical care will be paid for their services.
Or, imagine that another motorist crashes into your car and hasn't the insurance or the money to make the situation right for you. You have the insurance to cover your losses, you forgive him and you move on. (This could also come under the Biblical principle of loving your enemies and forgiving those who offend you.)
The second Biblical principal is to obey the laws of the land. (Romans 13:1-7) Most states now have laws requiring you to have certain levels of automobile and related insurance. Similarly, federal laws require mortgaged real estate to be insured. So that's reason enough to do it, from a Biblical perspective.
I could go on, citing other Biblical principals, but hopefully you get the point. Buying certain types of insurance is a good, God-honoring thing to do. Not buying silly insurance and shopping around for the best deal are also God-honoring ways to approach it. Make sure you're adequately covered in the key areas of risk in life. And make sure the coverage is the most godly coverage you can find. It's Biblical!
Talk to me about insurance. Aren't Christians supposed to trust God to take care of them? Isn't buying insurance then just a form of not trusting God?
Harry L. - Montauk, NY
Dear Harry,
That may sound logical, but it's not accurate. There are several different types of insurance to buy. But the most common are:
1. Auto Insurance (including liability and uninsured motorists)
2. Property Insurance (home and contents, renters' insurance, etc.)
3. Health Insurance (pays medical bills, provides income in disability, etc.)
4. Life Insurance (pays survivors if you die)
Of course there are other types of insurance, such as long term care insurance, extended warranties, trip cancellation, etc. But let's focus on the four (4) I've listed above, as they are the most common and the most expensive.
The Bible doesn't specifically require insurance, nor does it specifically prohibit it. But, Proverbs 27:12 tells us that, "The prudent see danger and take refuge ..." What this means is that prudent people understand the risks associated with everyday living and take precautions to mitigate those risks. So I think that's the first place to start when wondering if insurance is Biblical. Insurance is a legal, God-honoring way to mitigate known risks in life. Put another way, God wants to take care of your needs --- and He may well use insurance to do so.
But there are other Biblical principles that can be applied to certain types of insurance. Two specifically come to mind.
The first is the law of "loving others as you would like to be loved." (Matthew 24:39, Mark 12:31) Look at this one in the context of two real-life scenarios. You become sick or injured and must be hospitalized for expensive treatment. This happens all too often. With adequate insurance, you are making sure that those who treat you and provide for your medical care will be paid for their services.
Or, imagine that another motorist crashes into your car and hasn't the insurance or the money to make the situation right for you. You have the insurance to cover your losses, you forgive him and you move on. (This could also come under the Biblical principle of loving your enemies and forgiving those who offend you.)
The second Biblical principal is to obey the laws of the land. (Romans 13:1-7) Most states now have laws requiring you to have certain levels of automobile and related insurance. Similarly, federal laws require mortgaged real estate to be insured. So that's reason enough to do it, from a Biblical perspective.
I could go on, citing other Biblical principals, but hopefully you get the point. Buying certain types of insurance is a good, God-honoring thing to do. Not buying silly insurance and shopping around for the best deal are also God-honoring ways to approach it. Make sure you're adequately covered in the key areas of risk in life. And make sure the coverage is the most godly coverage you can find. It's Biblical!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Sex Questions
Dear Readers,
I've received several letters lately regarding sexuality in some form or fashion. I'm trying to space these out so as to not overload the blog with sex talk. I'm happy to talk frankly about sexual matters, but want to keep the blog balanced for the benefit of everyone.
So if you've got questions about human sexuality, bring 'em on. Just be patient with me to get them answered in a timely manner.
Victorious
I've received several letters lately regarding sexuality in some form or fashion. I'm trying to space these out so as to not overload the blog with sex talk. I'm happy to talk frankly about sexual matters, but want to keep the blog balanced for the benefit of everyone.
So if you've got questions about human sexuality, bring 'em on. Just be patient with me to get them answered in a timely manner.
Victorious
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Job Hunting
Dear Victorious,
I'm unemployed and looking for a job. I've prayed and prayed and frankly am getting tired of praying for a job. What am I doing wrong?
Norma A. - Rockford, IL
Dear Norma,
You've not given me enough information to even speculate as to what - if anything - you might be doing wrong. But when you are searching for a job, a home, a spouse or whatever, it's important to take the right approach.
For instance, maybe you're praying for a job - when you should be praying for God's provision. What exactly are you praying for? And what answer to that prayer are you really expecting? Would you be willing, for example, to be unemployed for a season if that pleases God? If you knew that God wanted to use your period of unemployment to accomplish some part of His will --- would that be okay with you?
Many of us get frustrated when God doesn't meet our expectations. The the challenge we really face is to find contentment in the circumstances that God gives us.
I'm unemployed and looking for a job. I've prayed and prayed and frankly am getting tired of praying for a job. What am I doing wrong?
Norma A. - Rockford, IL
Dear Norma,
You've not given me enough information to even speculate as to what - if anything - you might be doing wrong. But when you are searching for a job, a home, a spouse or whatever, it's important to take the right approach.
For instance, maybe you're praying for a job - when you should be praying for God's provision. What exactly are you praying for? And what answer to that prayer are you really expecting? Would you be willing, for example, to be unemployed for a season if that pleases God? If you knew that God wanted to use your period of unemployment to accomplish some part of His will --- would that be okay with you?
Many of us get frustrated when God doesn't meet our expectations. The the challenge we really face is to find contentment in the circumstances that God gives us.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Be Fruitful & Multiply
Dear Victorious,
I know that God told Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply." But what about the global population explosion? What about the fact that we're depleting the earth's resources? What about the starving people whom we already can't take care of? Isn't this Biblical mandate outdated now?
Tawney Z. - Atlanta, GA
Dear Tawney,
No, the Biblical mandate is still valid. While it's popular to think of the world as being overcrowded, it's really not. There are vast stretches of the earth that aren't populated. Here are a couple of important facts to consider:
1. If the entire population of the world were relocated to one place, it would create a metropolitan area the size of Texas. The rest of the world would be empty.
2. There is currently more than enough food in the world to feed everyone. In fact, much of the food being produced in the world today is wasted. The problem is that the food isn't in the right place at the right time, etc.
As Christians, we have to remember that God knows what He's doing. He is our provision in life. And if He told us to be fruitful and multiply, He had a plan. He knows how well we'll do that and He's totally capable (and willing) to provide for all of earth's population. T
hat anyone starves or doesn't have clean drinking water or a place to live is not a matter of God not providing or the earth not being capable. Rather it is a matter of sin - where those who have fail to care for those who have not.
I know that God told Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply." But what about the global population explosion? What about the fact that we're depleting the earth's resources? What about the starving people whom we already can't take care of? Isn't this Biblical mandate outdated now?
Tawney Z. - Atlanta, GA
Dear Tawney,
No, the Biblical mandate is still valid. While it's popular to think of the world as being overcrowded, it's really not. There are vast stretches of the earth that aren't populated. Here are a couple of important facts to consider:
1. If the entire population of the world were relocated to one place, it would create a metropolitan area the size of Texas. The rest of the world would be empty.
2. There is currently more than enough food in the world to feed everyone. In fact, much of the food being produced in the world today is wasted. The problem is that the food isn't in the right place at the right time, etc.
As Christians, we have to remember that God knows what He's doing. He is our provision in life. And if He told us to be fruitful and multiply, He had a plan. He knows how well we'll do that and He's totally capable (and willing) to provide for all of earth's population. T
hat anyone starves or doesn't have clean drinking water or a place to live is not a matter of God not providing or the earth not being capable. Rather it is a matter of sin - where those who have fail to care for those who have not.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Rude People
Dear Victorious,
I know the Bible tells us to love our enemies, turn the other cheek, forgive seventy times seven and all that. But what about rude people? I'm talking about people who are blatantly offensive and know it - but don't care. What are we to do with them?
Danielle M. - Martins Ferry, OH
Dear Danielle,
You may not like this answer, but we're to treat rude people the same as we'd treat anyone else. That doesn't mean we have to be a door mat and allow them to continue to offend us. Loving someone as you would like to be loved, forgiving them seventy times seven, showing them grace and all that other virtuous stuff are not mutually exclusive with drawing firm boundaries. So you can, for example, speak the truth in love to such people. You can draw firm boundaries and inform them of the offense ... as well as your intent not to continue allowing them to offend you. You can love someone without spending time with them. In other words, we can ask people to live up to our own standards for living. If they refuse, then we are under no obligation to share our time with them. One way I like to think of this is to imagine myself saying to them, "My love for you is unconditional ... but my time is not."
I know the Bible tells us to love our enemies, turn the other cheek, forgive seventy times seven and all that. But what about rude people? I'm talking about people who are blatantly offensive and know it - but don't care. What are we to do with them?
Danielle M. - Martins Ferry, OH
Dear Danielle,
You may not like this answer, but we're to treat rude people the same as we'd treat anyone else. That doesn't mean we have to be a door mat and allow them to continue to offend us. Loving someone as you would like to be loved, forgiving them seventy times seven, showing them grace and all that other virtuous stuff are not mutually exclusive with drawing firm boundaries. So you can, for example, speak the truth in love to such people. You can draw firm boundaries and inform them of the offense ... as well as your intent not to continue allowing them to offend you. You can love someone without spending time with them. In other words, we can ask people to live up to our own standards for living. If they refuse, then we are under no obligation to share our time with them. One way I like to think of this is to imagine myself saying to them, "My love for you is unconditional ... but my time is not."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
