Dear Victorious,
What is the meaning of life?
James B. - Singapore
Dear James,
The meaning of life is our purpose. Our purpose is to please God. The Bible tells us that God created the heavens and the earth, as well as everything in them. You have to ask yourself why He would do it. We know that He is a jealous God --- wanting no other gods before Him. We know that He insists of having things His way. So if that is His character and nature, then the only possible reason we could have been created is because it pleased Him in some way. It serves His purpose. So our purpose in life - our reason for existing - yours and mine - is to please God in whatever way(s) He may define that.
(By the way, I think yours is the first letter I've ever received from outside the U.S.!)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I Love You All
Dear Victorious,
We often hear celebrities talk about how much they love their fans. They'll be on stage and say something like, "I love you all" or, "I love all my loyal fans." Do you think it's true? Could they really love their fans as they say they do?
Loyal Fan
Dear Loyal,
I doubt it. Much of the value of what a celebrity says is held in the meaning of the word "love." Think about the relationship between a celebrity and and the fans. The celebrity does something once ... like record a song. Then we celebrate them for years and years. And we pay them for that song for years and years. Or the celebrity films a movie or TV show. They get paid to do it up front. And then we talk about it, celebrate them and continue to pay them for it for years and years. It's a bit of a one-sided relationship in terms of money. Admittedly, the celebrity's feat, aided by media, entertains us for years and years. But what they did they only did once --- and they were well paid for it.
If I did something for you once, and got paid handsomely for it --- would you think I love you? So what's the truth of the situation? My guess is a more truthful statement would be something like, "I'm so grateful for my loyal fans." We don't hear celebrities use those words much; they seem to like the world "love" a great deal more. It sounds so much more endearing too! At best, the celebrities are grateful. At worst, they may be selfish, self-centered and just enamored with the fact that they have fans. But in most cases, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and call them grateful for all their loyal fans.
We often hear celebrities talk about how much they love their fans. They'll be on stage and say something like, "I love you all" or, "I love all my loyal fans." Do you think it's true? Could they really love their fans as they say they do?
Loyal Fan
Dear Loyal,
I doubt it. Much of the value of what a celebrity says is held in the meaning of the word "love." Think about the relationship between a celebrity and and the fans. The celebrity does something once ... like record a song. Then we celebrate them for years and years. And we pay them for that song for years and years. Or the celebrity films a movie or TV show. They get paid to do it up front. And then we talk about it, celebrate them and continue to pay them for it for years and years. It's a bit of a one-sided relationship in terms of money. Admittedly, the celebrity's feat, aided by media, entertains us for years and years. But what they did they only did once --- and they were well paid for it.
If I did something for you once, and got paid handsomely for it --- would you think I love you? So what's the truth of the situation? My guess is a more truthful statement would be something like, "I'm so grateful for my loyal fans." We don't hear celebrities use those words much; they seem to like the world "love" a great deal more. It sounds so much more endearing too! At best, the celebrities are grateful. At worst, they may be selfish, self-centered and just enamored with the fact that they have fans. But in most cases, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and call them grateful for all their loyal fans.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Realtors
Dear Victorious,
What do you think of Realtors and their role in society today?
Shopping for A Home
Dear Shopping,
I've worked with several Realtors through the years. In most cases, it was a pleasure to work with them. I remember most of their names, and all of their personalities - even those I worked with 25 years ago. So I believe that the good Realtors are notable personalities.
The problem with Realtors is that they have a choke hold on the real estate transaction. It is nearly impossible to find a suitable home - amongst the thousands to pick from - without the expert help and resources of a Realtor. It is even more impossible to sell your home - without engaging the resources of a Realtor. Realtors control the multiple listing service (MLS) - a national data base of homes available for sale. If your house isn't on it, there's scant chance you'll find a buyer.
Most people think that Realtors charge too much. Typical commissions on a transaction tend to be from 6-7% of the sales price (although some have been known to negotiate or offer discounts on multiple transactions, etc.) To be honest, I don't know if that's a fair price for the value of the services they provide. We can't get those services from anyone else - so we can never know. Simply put, Realtors have a monopoly on this. They have no real competition.
Some thought that the Internet might undo the Realtors. The word is "disenfranchised." It was thought that the Internet could make Realtors less relevant or at least less critical to the transaction. That's largely proved not to be the case. Web sites like RealEstate.com went bankrupt - trying to list and sell homes without Realtors. Even on the Internet, the most robust source of homes for sale will today be found at the Realtors' own national web site - Realtor.com.
So what do I think of Realtors? I don't like the fact that they have a monopoly and that I am forced to do business with them. At the same time, as individuals, I respect their work and appreciate the level of service I get from them. You should too!
What do you think of Realtors and their role in society today?
Shopping for A Home
Dear Shopping,
I've worked with several Realtors through the years. In most cases, it was a pleasure to work with them. I remember most of their names, and all of their personalities - even those I worked with 25 years ago. So I believe that the good Realtors are notable personalities.
The problem with Realtors is that they have a choke hold on the real estate transaction. It is nearly impossible to find a suitable home - amongst the thousands to pick from - without the expert help and resources of a Realtor. It is even more impossible to sell your home - without engaging the resources of a Realtor. Realtors control the multiple listing service (MLS) - a national data base of homes available for sale. If your house isn't on it, there's scant chance you'll find a buyer.
Most people think that Realtors charge too much. Typical commissions on a transaction tend to be from 6-7% of the sales price (although some have been known to negotiate or offer discounts on multiple transactions, etc.) To be honest, I don't know if that's a fair price for the value of the services they provide. We can't get those services from anyone else - so we can never know. Simply put, Realtors have a monopoly on this. They have no real competition.
Some thought that the Internet might undo the Realtors. The word is "disenfranchised." It was thought that the Internet could make Realtors less relevant or at least less critical to the transaction. That's largely proved not to be the case. Web sites like RealEstate.com went bankrupt - trying to list and sell homes without Realtors. Even on the Internet, the most robust source of homes for sale will today be found at the Realtors' own national web site - Realtor.com.
So what do I think of Realtors? I don't like the fact that they have a monopoly and that I am forced to do business with them. At the same time, as individuals, I respect their work and appreciate the level of service I get from them. You should too!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Evil Today
Dear Victorious,
I saw your blog about the "blasphemy challenge." It seems you have concluded that evil is all around us and that it is prevailing in the world. Isn't this a cynical point of view? Don't you think things like that "blasphemy challenge" are more aberrations and not typical of our culture?
Reality Based
Dear Reality,
You know, I would like to have a civilized debate with you on this subject. Unfortunately, there is not even the slightest chance that I am wrong here. The world is bad and it is getting worse. Having people publicly proclaim that there is no god is only an example of the reality we're living in. Here are some other examples:
More Christians have been martyred for their faith (i.e., killed for being Christians) in the past century than in all the other centuries since Christ's death put together.
This month, in addition to honoring mother's and prayer, has been set aside as "National Masturbation Month" - in which Americans are supposed to celebrate masturbation.
More Americans are incarcerated than in any other country on earth. The U.S. has more people in prison than China, Russia, Indonesia, India or any other country. And mind you, some of these countries have three times the population that we do!
More than 2 million people are enslaved in western countries right now. Most are serving as sexual slaves or domestics. Its estimated that about half of them are children (most of whom are the sexual slaves).
Pornography is the most prevalent user of the Internet. It takes up more of our Internet bandwidth than news, research, entertainment, travel, business or any other sector of society. And it's growing at a breakneck speed too.
So no, I am not being pessimistic. The Bible tells us that the closer we get to the end times (when Christ will return) it is going to get uglier and uglier. I'm just observing the fact that it is.
I saw your blog about the "blasphemy challenge." It seems you have concluded that evil is all around us and that it is prevailing in the world. Isn't this a cynical point of view? Don't you think things like that "blasphemy challenge" are more aberrations and not typical of our culture?
Reality Based
Dear Reality,
You know, I would like to have a civilized debate with you on this subject. Unfortunately, there is not even the slightest chance that I am wrong here. The world is bad and it is getting worse. Having people publicly proclaim that there is no god is only an example of the reality we're living in. Here are some other examples:
More Christians have been martyred for their faith (i.e., killed for being Christians) in the past century than in all the other centuries since Christ's death put together.
This month, in addition to honoring mother's and prayer, has been set aside as "National Masturbation Month" - in which Americans are supposed to celebrate masturbation.
More Americans are incarcerated than in any other country on earth. The U.S. has more people in prison than China, Russia, Indonesia, India or any other country. And mind you, some of these countries have three times the population that we do!
More than 2 million people are enslaved in western countries right now. Most are serving as sexual slaves or domestics. Its estimated that about half of them are children (most of whom are the sexual slaves).
Pornography is the most prevalent user of the Internet. It takes up more of our Internet bandwidth than news, research, entertainment, travel, business or any other sector of society. And it's growing at a breakneck speed too.
So no, I am not being pessimistic. The Bible tells us that the closer we get to the end times (when Christ will return) it is going to get uglier and uglier. I'm just observing the fact that it is.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Honor Your Mother
Dear Victorious,
I know the Bible says that we are to honor our father and mother. But my mother is a mean, selfish witch. I can't stand to be with her because she is so critical and negative all the time. She berates me and belittles me to no end. There is nothing I can do that pleases her. So Mother's Day seems like a time when I am just screwed. Am I just doomed to this torture with her?
Melanie E. - Huntsville, TX
Dear Melanie,
No, you are not doomed to this torture. I assume you are an adult and not living with your mother. In such a case, you are able to draw firm boundaries with her and not put up with her abusive behavior. You do not have to spend time with your father and mother in order to honor them. (I think I have talked to someone else about something similar before.) So how do you honor your mother on Mother's Day?
The thing to remember is that you're trying to keep a Biblical command - but Mother's Day is not a religious holiday. It's not Biblical. It's society's notion of how we honor Mother's Day. I say you'd do better to forget about Mother's Day and focus on how you can honor your mother every day. How do you do that?
First, you live good values. Live a life that is honorable and praise worthy. Live the values you know your mother would cherish (even if she fails at them herself).
Second, you maintain contact with your mother. That's different than spending time with her. Send her cards and letters, flowers, pictures of the grand kids, etc. And do it often.
Third, you see that her basic needs are provided for. Make sure she has decent housing, health care, food and clothes, etc. If she needs help, step in and make sure she gets it. (This is especially true in the advanced elderly - when they may not be able to fend for themselves mentally or emotionally.)
Fourth, you don't gossip about your mother or spend time putting her down around others. Don't talk badly about her to anyone. If someone presses you about why you aren't closer to her, simply tell them you love her dearly.
Finally, pray for your mother. Ask God to soften her heart. Ask God to show you how you can love her. Ask Him to show you ways that you might relate to her more effectively. Always hold out hope that with Jesus in the picture, a relationship with your mother is still possible.
Now, today is Mother's Day. If you haven't already, get some flowers and candy, a nice card and drop by your mother's with them. You don't have to stay long. Just suck it up and stop in to drop this stuff of and tell her you love her. Then be on your way. After today, start embracing your new plan for dear old Mom.
I know the Bible says that we are to honor our father and mother. But my mother is a mean, selfish witch. I can't stand to be with her because she is so critical and negative all the time. She berates me and belittles me to no end. There is nothing I can do that pleases her. So Mother's Day seems like a time when I am just screwed. Am I just doomed to this torture with her?
Melanie E. - Huntsville, TX
Dear Melanie,
No, you are not doomed to this torture. I assume you are an adult and not living with your mother. In such a case, you are able to draw firm boundaries with her and not put up with her abusive behavior. You do not have to spend time with your father and mother in order to honor them. (I think I have talked to someone else about something similar before.) So how do you honor your mother on Mother's Day?
The thing to remember is that you're trying to keep a Biblical command - but Mother's Day is not a religious holiday. It's not Biblical. It's society's notion of how we honor Mother's Day. I say you'd do better to forget about Mother's Day and focus on how you can honor your mother every day. How do you do that?
First, you live good values. Live a life that is honorable and praise worthy. Live the values you know your mother would cherish (even if she fails at them herself).
Second, you maintain contact with your mother. That's different than spending time with her. Send her cards and letters, flowers, pictures of the grand kids, etc. And do it often.
Third, you see that her basic needs are provided for. Make sure she has decent housing, health care, food and clothes, etc. If she needs help, step in and make sure she gets it. (This is especially true in the advanced elderly - when they may not be able to fend for themselves mentally or emotionally.)
Fourth, you don't gossip about your mother or spend time putting her down around others. Don't talk badly about her to anyone. If someone presses you about why you aren't closer to her, simply tell them you love her dearly.
Finally, pray for your mother. Ask God to soften her heart. Ask God to show you how you can love her. Ask Him to show you ways that you might relate to her more effectively. Always hold out hope that with Jesus in the picture, a relationship with your mother is still possible.
Now, today is Mother's Day. If you haven't already, get some flowers and candy, a nice card and drop by your mother's with them. You don't have to stay long. Just suck it up and stop in to drop this stuff of and tell her you love her. Then be on your way. After today, start embracing your new plan for dear old Mom.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
What Confounds You?
Dear Victorious,
You seem to have a lot of answers to questions. There must be some things in life that confound you. What are they?
Allen R. - Memphis
Dear Allen,
Yes, I have a lot of answers to questions. But you're right in that there are many questions I would still like to have answered myself. In fact, the vast sea of questions seems to continue to unfold before me, week by week! What are some things that confound me? Here's just a small sampling off the top of my head:
1. Why did God make skunks? If everything is "purpose driven," what is the purpose of skunks in the grand scheme of things?
2. Why didn't President Barack Obama make an appearance at any public prayer event on National Prayer Day this week?
3. Is there any way the United States could ever significantly reduce dependence on automobiles?
4. What would the world be like if the British Empire had not been disassembled? Most of the countries that were set free have not fared so well on their own!
5. How could White House aid Louis Caldera have thought it would be okay to spend more than $328,000 to get a new publicity photo of the Air Force One? (He's the guy who quit this week after all of Manhattan got upset that he buzzed the city with this big plane and two Air Force fighter jets.) The scandal of flying a jumbo jet low over Manhattan and scaring the crap out of the people who live there aside - that's a stupid way to be spending taxpayer dollars.
6. What would my life have been like if my father hadn't died when I was a toddler?
7. What would my life have been like if I hadn't been so rebellious, self-centered and immature in my youth?
8. Why can't weather forecasters get their predictions any more accurate than they do? Their accuracy seems incredibly low. Is weather really that unpredictable? If it is, why do we keep trying?
9. If the U.S. has such a strong immigrant heritage, why are immigrants such a big problem for us now? Wouldn't letting them all in who want in and assimilating them be easier than fighting the illegals?
10. Who invented carpet?
11. Why don't Americans think it's okay to eat horse (like some Europeans do) or dog and cat (like some Asians do)? Is there anything we eat that they think is gross?
12. Where do paper clips go in an office? They never seem to wear out, but we have to keep buying them!
13. When will the U.S. national debt ever get paid off? Does it matter?
14. Is global warming really as serious as we think it is?
15. What will Arab countries be like when they run out of oil?
Okay, there you have it. These are just a sampling of the unanswered questions in my mind on any given day!
You seem to have a lot of answers to questions. There must be some things in life that confound you. What are they?
Allen R. - Memphis
Dear Allen,
Yes, I have a lot of answers to questions. But you're right in that there are many questions I would still like to have answered myself. In fact, the vast sea of questions seems to continue to unfold before me, week by week! What are some things that confound me? Here's just a small sampling off the top of my head:
1. Why did God make skunks? If everything is "purpose driven," what is the purpose of skunks in the grand scheme of things?
2. Why didn't President Barack Obama make an appearance at any public prayer event on National Prayer Day this week?
3. Is there any way the United States could ever significantly reduce dependence on automobiles?
4. What would the world be like if the British Empire had not been disassembled? Most of the countries that were set free have not fared so well on their own!
5. How could White House aid Louis Caldera have thought it would be okay to spend more than $328,000 to get a new publicity photo of the Air Force One? (He's the guy who quit this week after all of Manhattan got upset that he buzzed the city with this big plane and two Air Force fighter jets.) The scandal of flying a jumbo jet low over Manhattan and scaring the crap out of the people who live there aside - that's a stupid way to be spending taxpayer dollars.
6. What would my life have been like if my father hadn't died when I was a toddler?
7. What would my life have been like if I hadn't been so rebellious, self-centered and immature in my youth?
8. Why can't weather forecasters get their predictions any more accurate than they do? Their accuracy seems incredibly low. Is weather really that unpredictable? If it is, why do we keep trying?
9. If the U.S. has such a strong immigrant heritage, why are immigrants such a big problem for us now? Wouldn't letting them all in who want in and assimilating them be easier than fighting the illegals?
10. Who invented carpet?
11. Why don't Americans think it's okay to eat horse (like some Europeans do) or dog and cat (like some Asians do)? Is there anything we eat that they think is gross?
12. Where do paper clips go in an office? They never seem to wear out, but we have to keep buying them!
13. When will the U.S. national debt ever get paid off? Does it matter?
14. Is global warming really as serious as we think it is?
15. What will Arab countries be like when they run out of oil?
Okay, there you have it. These are just a sampling of the unanswered questions in my mind on any given day!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Oh My God!
Dear Victorious,
We frequently hear people saying, "Oh my God!" Isn't this blasphemy? (After all, it is taking the name of the Lord in vain.)
Marcy E. - Hammondsville, IN
Dear Marcy,
Yes, I've heard it too. I'm not so much troubled by the actual words as I am the attitude toward God that they seem to reveal. I hear it on TV a lot, especially on reality shows, game shows and commercials. Anything that's surprising, especially pleasantly so, seems to warrant such an exclamation. I'm sure that the comment itself is innocent enough. But I notice that the maturest Christians I know don't use that expression. You have to wonder why!
Blasphemy is defined as the act of showing contempt for God, showing irreverence toward God, claiming the attributes of God or denying the deity of God. So when someone says, with regular casualness, "Oh my God!" I suspect they are - in most cases - simply guilty of irreverence toward God. But my guess is that most of them are ignorant about that fact. The only question I'd have is whether it would matter to them if they knew.
We frequently hear people saying, "Oh my God!" Isn't this blasphemy? (After all, it is taking the name of the Lord in vain.)
Marcy E. - Hammondsville, IN
Dear Marcy,
Yes, I've heard it too. I'm not so much troubled by the actual words as I am the attitude toward God that they seem to reveal. I hear it on TV a lot, especially on reality shows, game shows and commercials. Anything that's surprising, especially pleasantly so, seems to warrant such an exclamation. I'm sure that the comment itself is innocent enough. But I notice that the maturest Christians I know don't use that expression. You have to wonder why!
Blasphemy is defined as the act of showing contempt for God, showing irreverence toward God, claiming the attributes of God or denying the deity of God. So when someone says, with regular casualness, "Oh my God!" I suspect they are - in most cases - simply guilty of irreverence toward God. But my guess is that most of them are ignorant about that fact. The only question I'd have is whether it would matter to them if they knew.
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