Love Is

Dear Victorious,

1 Corinthians 13 is often quoted as the definition of love. But frankly, I still find it to be a little abstract. Can you explain it to me in terms that are easier to understand? Patient and kind are a little vague, if you know what I mean.

Boris R. - Russelsheim, Germany

Dear Boris,

The more narrow reference is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, which says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails."

Perhaps words like patient and kind seem a little subjective. But you'd surely agree that terms like self-seeking, angered, protects, trusts, and perseveres are a little more concrete. More importantly, they are not open to cultural interpretation.

Biblical love puts up with a lot - but doesn't enable. It draws firm boundaries - but offers grace. It holds people accountable - but restores them to wholeness. It serves others - but isn't a door mat. As you can see, there is a fine line where love in the Biblical sense can be perverted. On one end of that scale of perversion, we have plain meanness. On the other end, we have enablement (of other's bad behaviors).

In practical application, love says I won't get mad at you for offending me. I'll forgive you even before I know if it's your fault - or if you're sorry. I'll do that favor for you - even if it's an inconvenience or sacrifice for me. But ... I won't share my life with you if you're abusive or take advantage of me. I won't put up with your whining or laziness. In fact, I'll call you on those things and exhort you to grow up.

I hope that helps clarify this for you.