Career Choices

Q: What can a parent say to a college-aged child who doesn't seem to know what they want to do in life? My son hasn't declared a major. He seems to be interested in everything, but committed to nothing. It's really frustrating. The world is his oyster and full of possibilities. How can a Christian parent guide a child to good career choices without manipulating or meddling?

A: Isn't that just the point? He's "interested in everything, but committed to nothing." Think about what that means. In today's society, it is more than common for most people to have several "careers." Rarely do people end up working in the profession that they started right out of college. Even when they do, they often switch careers in mid stream ... several times. So the moral to this story is not to get too hung up on what specifically someone does or doesn't do. As long as they're working at something, being productive members of society and not expecting the world to take care of them without giving anything in return --- as a parent I would resign myself to love them, pray for them and be there whenever my guidance is wanted.

How should you pray for a young man like this? Pray that God would draw him close to Himself. Pray that he would have a passion to seek, know and worship God above anything else he ever does. Pray that his heart and spirit would be protected. And pray that he have wisdom and discernment enough to hear when God calls him to a task, profession, mission, etc.

Finally, it's worth saying here that it is far more important who the young man is than what he does. And frankly, that's true for any of us. God is far more interested in who we are than what we do or don't do. The biggest goal I would have for my own son is that he be a man of God, committed to his God and his other relationships. Jesus said the two most important commandments are to love God and love others. Frankly, that is the mandate for life. So you have a successful son who honors his parents when he fulfills those two commandments. It doesn't matter what else he does for a living. Remember the Apostle Paul - a committed murderer of Christians? He changed careers in mid stream to become an Apostle, author most of the New Testament and undoubtedly be the most influential man in the Bible (besides Jesus). And for what it's worth, he was a tent maker to support his ministry.

Let's hope that your son finds that passion for God and engages in some sort of "tent making" to support his ministry.

Christian Parenting

Q: What exactly does God expect of parents? I mean we hear phrases like the "helicopter mom" or other terms tossed about to basically illustrate what not to do. But it seems like Christians aren't really getting a whole lot of advice on what we are to do. Doesn't the Bible have guidelines for us Christians as parents?

A: Most certainly the Bible has plenty to say to Christians about their role as parents. But they aren't specific guidelines or instructions in a separate section. Rather they appear throughout the Old and New Testament. The place to start though is with yourself and not your children.

God is much more interested in who we are versus what we do ... and that includes what we do as parents. Simply put, the best thing you can do for your children is to give them the most godly parents ever. Make sure that you walk the talk in every way. Go out of your way to be sure that you're surrendered and submitted to Jesus Christ. Be obedient to the Father.

Beyond yourself, the next thing you must do is to be intentional about teaching your children who God is and how they are to relate to Him. Some of the godliest people in the Bible were still guilty of neglecting their children when it came to spiritual discipleship. As a result, their children grew up to do awful things and didn't reflect the godliness of their parents. How do you do this? Read the Bible with your children, especially as they grow older. Have a family time with God at least every week - if not every day. Read the Bible, pray. Discuss God's Word. Help your children acquire a Christian worldview. Teach them to think about things with God's values instead of the world's.

One could develop a list of things to do or not do for Christian parents. But frankly those are just tactical in nature. The truly strategic things are what I've just explained here. Get these right and everything else will take its place.

Parental Praise

Q: When a child grows up and turns out to be a success in life, who do you think gets more credit - the mother or the father?

A: Neither. It takes a village. Sometimes neither mother, father or a loving village are present. And yet individuals can grow up to become successful in life. The truest source (of their success) is God's loving grace. It is only by the grace of God that we are each not destroyed by the mistakes of our parents.