Hypocrisy

Dear Victorious,

So many of the Christians I see look like such hypocrites. I realize nobody is perfect and that Christians are still sinners. But it disgusts me and makes me want to stay away from them - and the churches they go to. What should I do?

Earl T. - Santa Fe, N.M.

Dear Earl,

You sound frustrated. That's pretty normal. It would put you on par with Jesus, the Apostle Paul and others who found hypocrisy among the religious. To be sure, hypocrisy is disgusting. But rather than turn away from it, I think you should become a student of it. Examine it, study it and understand its dynamics. When you do, I suspect you will then know what to do with it. (It is difficult to respond effectively to anything with which we are not familiar.)

What is hypocrisy? It is knowing the truth, but not obeying it. People can say that they believe in Jesus, but then not obey Him. Jesus said if we love Him we will obey Him. (Perhaps the hypocrites miss that point!) Hypocrisy is living a self-serving life. Even those who serve or give generously can be doing so for self-serving reasons - instead of out of genuine love for God and others. Hypocrisy reduces faith to rigid rules. People can end up worshipping their church or their religion (denomination) more than they worship God. Hypocrisy is outward conformity without inner reality. Said another way, hypocrisy can often only be seen if we could see the whole person.

To be sure, hypocrisy in any form is sin. What are we to do with such sin in ourselves and others? Confess it to God. Confess it to one another. Pray for each other to be healed of it. And of course forgive it. But beyond that, we are not to be deceived by it. Many people look at the hypocrisy of so-called Christians and then use that as an excuse to stay away from God and the church. The irony in that is when they do this, they themselves are revealing their own hypocrisy!

So in answer to your question, my advice to you about hypocrisy is to understand it and resolve to respond to it in God-honoring ways. Then pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you as you work to respond to it that way. Finally, expect God to provide that leading and expect yourself to be more successful at confessing your own hypocrisy to God and someone else, forgiving the hypocrisy of others, and to help you - in community - to turn from hypocrisy toward righteousness and obedience.

As you engage this way, hypocrisy will still be ugly and disgusting, but I doubt very much that it will continue to have such power over you as to control your behaviors towards God and others.

Masturbation

Dear Victorious,

Is masturbation a sin?

E.C. - Kansas

Dear E.C.,

That is a difficult question. Masturbation is something of a taboo topic in churches today. It's not talked about. Society, on the other hand, seems to encourage it. I've seen advice columnists call it "normal" and even seem to encourage it. Certainly there is a substantial realm of our society that considers masturbation to be perfectly okay. But even if it were, not everything that's okay is good. No everything that's allowed is recommended. I believe masturbation is one of those things.

To be clear, there is no mention of masturbation in the Bible. Many things are discussed in the Bible and either recommended or forbidden. That masturbation is not leads many to conclude that it is not a sin. I've dealt with this topic in ministry quite a bit, however - and I can tell you that many people who engage in this routinely don't feel good about it. In fact, my observation and experience is that the more Christ-like one becomes, the more that masturbation seems to bother them. It doesn't escape me that the Holy Spirit convicts us of what He doesn't want us doing. Said another way, if your conscience bothers you about it, you shouldn't be doing it.

I will say that masturbation may not be a sin. However, most often it is a practice that is not easily accomplished without sin of some sort. Selfishness, worshipping false gods, lust in your heart for someone other than your wife, pornography and other sins typically accompany masturbation. Indeed, masturbation for most people does not occur outside of these dynamics, even for a single person.

For a married person, we can take the above list of sins, and add to it. A married person who masturbates usually does it in secret ... behind their spouse's back. This would be wrong. When we marry, we give our bodies - including our sexuality - to our spouses. Having any sort of sexual expression without one's spouse then is a sin. So if you are married, then the only way you could masturbate and not have it be a sin would be to do with your spouse's consent, with your spouse present.

Having said these things, I don't put masturbation any higher than any other sin. It behaves much like any other sin and enslaves just like other sins. In fact, it is a common addiction in today's society - behaving like other addictions. It needs to be treated like any other enslaving sin.

So, to answer your question, masturbation in and of itself may or may not be a sin in God's eyes. However, if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, etc. - then it is probably a duck. Masturbation looks and acts very much like sin. So if I were you, I would treat it that way. Confess it to God and someone else who is trustworthy (James 5:16), and turn from it. Then commit to expressing your sexuality in God-honoring ways.