Dear Victorious,
My husband and I are looking for a church near our home (we just moved). Do you have any suggestions on how we should go about evaluating and picking a new church?
Kylie T. - Rockford, IL
Dear Kylie,
For starters, don't be distracted by the things you like. I mean, pay no attention to the cappuccino bar, contemporary band, or even the brochures in the church lobby. Instead, look for a church that best lives out the principles that are identified in the New Testament. There's an excellent blog on the subject of New Testament churches. You may want to read it to get an idea of what I'm talking about. (See http://bible.org/seriespage/what-new-testament-church.)
Once you establish that this is a relevant church - in that its people actually live a Christ-centered life, then you simply have to ask yourself if this is a church you can commit to. Will you go? Will you serve? Will you submit? Christians are called to be in intimate community with other Christians. They are called to serve others in that community. And they are called to submit to the spiritual authority God has placed over that community. Will you do that here? If so, then this is probably the right church for you!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Distastrous Signs
Dear Victor,
It seems like the world is just filled with dismal news. Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, volcano eruptions, catastrophic oil spills and of course wars and fighting, corruption, etc. Really, what are Christians supposed to do with this stuff?
Cindee R. - Belton, TX
Dear Cindee,
The book of Revelation is clear that we should expect these things - with an increasing frequency - as it gets closer to the time of Christ's return. So the first thing Christians should do is to not be surprised. The second thing we should do is to take comfort in the fact that we have a Savior and can walk through these situations with God's "peace that transcends understanding." The third thing we should do is have confidence that the leading of the Holy Spirit is sufficient to get us through these circumstances - responding in ways that honor God and reflect who we are in Him. And finally, the fourth thing that Christ-followers must do is wade into these messy situations without fear, intending to show the love of Christ to those who are directly suffering as a result of these calamities.
It seems like the world is just filled with dismal news. Earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, volcano eruptions, catastrophic oil spills and of course wars and fighting, corruption, etc. Really, what are Christians supposed to do with this stuff?
Cindee R. - Belton, TX
Dear Cindee,
The book of Revelation is clear that we should expect these things - with an increasing frequency - as it gets closer to the time of Christ's return. So the first thing Christians should do is to not be surprised. The second thing we should do is to take comfort in the fact that we have a Savior and can walk through these situations with God's "peace that transcends understanding." The third thing we should do is have confidence that the leading of the Holy Spirit is sufficient to get us through these circumstances - responding in ways that honor God and reflect who we are in Him. And finally, the fourth thing that Christ-followers must do is wade into these messy situations without fear, intending to show the love of Christ to those who are directly suffering as a result of these calamities.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Poor People
Dear Victorious,
Why does God allow poverty? Isn't He supposed to love everyone equally?
T. J. - London, U.K.
Dear T.J.,
No, God isn't supposed to love everyone equally ... if you define love by how someone blesses someone else. God never promised that His blessings on us would be equal, or even fair. He has always said they would be just.
In both the Old and New Testament, the Bible tells us that there will always be the poor among us. Why? Because there will always be the selfish, the greedy, the thoughtless and the uncaring among us.
God has a plan for the poor people. The rest of us are supposed to take care of them. That we don't is why they remain trapped in desperate circumstances. It is also why we have come to view poverty as a terrible lot in life. Consider if the rest of us would actually take care of the poor - their plight wouldn't be desperate.
Why does God allow poverty? Isn't He supposed to love everyone equally?
T. J. - London, U.K.
Dear T.J.,
No, God isn't supposed to love everyone equally ... if you define love by how someone blesses someone else. God never promised that His blessings on us would be equal, or even fair. He has always said they would be just.
In both the Old and New Testament, the Bible tells us that there will always be the poor among us. Why? Because there will always be the selfish, the greedy, the thoughtless and the uncaring among us.
God has a plan for the poor people. The rest of us are supposed to take care of them. That we don't is why they remain trapped in desperate circumstances. It is also why we have come to view poverty as a terrible lot in life. Consider if the rest of us would actually take care of the poor - their plight wouldn't be desperate.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Drinking Wine
Dear Victorious,
Is it okay for Christians to drink wine? I think the Bible is confusing on this subject.
Mauri T. - Parsippany, NJ
Dear Mauri,
There are arguments for and against, and they're both backed by Scripture references. For me, the best place to see this in what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 9 & 10. Here Paul lays out some criteria for making such decisions. Specifically look at 1 Corinthians 9:23-24. In a nutshell, wine is permissible, but it may not be beneficial or constructive.
Put another way, you have to consider the context. Is it addictive for you? Can you drink it in moderation? Could your drinking it mislead or tempt someone who isn't as strong or spiritually mature as you? Does it help or hurt your own witness for Christ?
These are the kinds of questions that must be asked and answered before a Christian should drink wine. And frankly, the answer could be different based on the individual. It may be okay for one Christian to drink wine, but not for another Christian.
Is it okay for Christians to drink wine? I think the Bible is confusing on this subject.
Mauri T. - Parsippany, NJ
Dear Mauri,
There are arguments for and against, and they're both backed by Scripture references. For me, the best place to see this in what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 9 & 10. Here Paul lays out some criteria for making such decisions. Specifically look at 1 Corinthians 9:23-24. In a nutshell, wine is permissible, but it may not be beneficial or constructive.
Put another way, you have to consider the context. Is it addictive for you? Can you drink it in moderation? Could your drinking it mislead or tempt someone who isn't as strong or spiritually mature as you? Does it help or hurt your own witness for Christ?
These are the kinds of questions that must be asked and answered before a Christian should drink wine. And frankly, the answer could be different based on the individual. It may be okay for one Christian to drink wine, but not for another Christian.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Foreign Language
Dear Victorious,
I have friends who speak Spanish – and I don’t. From time to time they start a conversation in Spanish. This is so annoying because of course I don’t know what they’re saying. Sometimes I wonder if they’re talking about me! I’ve asked them to stop doing this – and only speak English when they’re with me. I’ve told them it makes me uncomfortable and I feel awkward. But they tell me I’m paranoid and keep doing it. What can I do to make them stop?
Nancy R. – Houston, TX
Dear Nancy,
You can’t do anything to make them stop. But you can realize why they’re doing it in the first place. When people have a common language amongst them entire group, but a subset of that groups shares another language, they only revert to that minority language because they intentionally want to exclude you from the conversation. The thing is, they don’t want you to participate in that conversation. Moreover, they don’t want you to know what that conversation is about. If they did, they could easily have it in your language.
You can make one more plea – and try to help them understand that they’re intentionally excluding you from a conversation – and that, at a minimum, this is rude. But don’t be surprised if they continue to do it. And when they do, you have a choice to make. You can forgive them for this repeated transgression against you, or you can get different friends. How much are they worth to you?
I have friends who speak Spanish – and I don’t. From time to time they start a conversation in Spanish. This is so annoying because of course I don’t know what they’re saying. Sometimes I wonder if they’re talking about me! I’ve asked them to stop doing this – and only speak English when they’re with me. I’ve told them it makes me uncomfortable and I feel awkward. But they tell me I’m paranoid and keep doing it. What can I do to make them stop?
Nancy R. – Houston, TX
Dear Nancy,
You can’t do anything to make them stop. But you can realize why they’re doing it in the first place. When people have a common language amongst them entire group, but a subset of that groups shares another language, they only revert to that minority language because they intentionally want to exclude you from the conversation. The thing is, they don’t want you to participate in that conversation. Moreover, they don’t want you to know what that conversation is about. If they did, they could easily have it in your language.
You can make one more plea – and try to help them understand that they’re intentionally excluding you from a conversation – and that, at a minimum, this is rude. But don’t be surprised if they continue to do it. And when they do, you have a choice to make. You can forgive them for this repeated transgression against you, or you can get different friends. How much are they worth to you?
Thursday, May 6, 2010
President Antichrist?
Dear Victor,
A guy I work with says that President Obama is quite possibly the Antichrist of the Biblical end times. Is there any chance that this is true?
Amy C. - Colleyville, TX
Dear Amy,
Goodness no! There is no chance - based on the Bible's description of the Antichrist - that President Obama is the Antichrist. For starters, too much is known about him and his background. Then too, he really hasn't been that deceptive. When people are deceived by the Antichrist, they won't realize it. There's a difference between deception and betrayal.
It's common to demonize people whom we don't agree with. Good Christians don't get sucked into that kind of foolishness though.
A guy I work with says that President Obama is quite possibly the Antichrist of the Biblical end times. Is there any chance that this is true?
Amy C. - Colleyville, TX
Dear Amy,
Goodness no! There is no chance - based on the Bible's description of the Antichrist - that President Obama is the Antichrist. For starters, too much is known about him and his background. Then too, he really hasn't been that deceptive. When people are deceived by the Antichrist, they won't realize it. There's a difference between deception and betrayal.
It's common to demonize people whom we don't agree with. Good Christians don't get sucked into that kind of foolishness though.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Tiger Woods
Dear Victorious,
What do you think of Tiger Woods' marriage? Is divorce inevitable? Is there a lesson in situations like this that the rest of us could learn?
Marilyn T. - Ocala, FL
Dear Marilyn,
I'm not sure what I think of Tiger Woods' marriage. To be fair, I simply don't have sufficient information with which to develop an informed opinion. I suspect that is true for everyone else as well.
What we do know about Tiger Woods and his marriage is that he's a broken man and that his brokenness appears to have deeply wounded his wife. The question is whether or not this man is sincerely repentant or not. Based on what we know today, that seems uncertain. Another question is whether this woman's heart is so wounded, so hardened towards him, that she will not consider the possibility of forgiving him. In my opinion both things would be required in order for them to salvage their marriage.
Perhaps the lesson in situations like this (public marriage failures) that we can all learn is that marriages are fragile, that sin has deep consequences (which most of us under estimate), and that sometimes the wounds are so deep that there is no turning back. Our hearts can become so hardened by the pain that sin inflicts that forgiveness is outside the realm of possibilities. When it gets to that point, divorce does seem inevitable - despite the fact that it's never the only option.
What do you think of Tiger Woods' marriage? Is divorce inevitable? Is there a lesson in situations like this that the rest of us could learn?
Marilyn T. - Ocala, FL
Dear Marilyn,
I'm not sure what I think of Tiger Woods' marriage. To be fair, I simply don't have sufficient information with which to develop an informed opinion. I suspect that is true for everyone else as well.
What we do know about Tiger Woods and his marriage is that he's a broken man and that his brokenness appears to have deeply wounded his wife. The question is whether or not this man is sincerely repentant or not. Based on what we know today, that seems uncertain. Another question is whether this woman's heart is so wounded, so hardened towards him, that she will not consider the possibility of forgiving him. In my opinion both things would be required in order for them to salvage their marriage.
Perhaps the lesson in situations like this (public marriage failures) that we can all learn is that marriages are fragile, that sin has deep consequences (which most of us under estimate), and that sometimes the wounds are so deep that there is no turning back. Our hearts can become so hardened by the pain that sin inflicts that forgiveness is outside the realm of possibilities. When it gets to that point, divorce does seem inevitable - despite the fact that it's never the only option.
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